DH said the word "NO" !!
I can't believe it! Yesterday my loving, enabling, sweet DH said "NO" to his adult daughter (18). I am still reeling from the shock of it all...
SD(18) had made cookies the night before and, of course, left all the dirty bowls utensils, and trash out for somebody else to clean up the next morning. I went to DH and told him that he's in charge--either he tells SD(18) to clean up her mess, or he cleans it up himself. I'm not touching it. Apparently he woke her up and told her to clean up her mess. She did, but only partially, saying "I'll only clean MY dishes."
After sleeping all day with her girlfriend (no job, no driver's license, no permit), SD(18) woke up and asked DH for gas money to drive her girlfriend to work. That's when DH said NO! He told her that she didn't make an effort in the home, so why should he help her? And he stuck to his guns, even when she pouted and didn't talk to him for the rest of the day.
Later, when DH recounted his tale to me, I high-fived him and made him high-five me on the butt too--because "now you are a hardass just like me!"
A hardass for saying NO to a bratty 18 year-old? Hardly. But it's a start and he lived to tell about the experience. I'm proud of him. 
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that makes me jealous.
that makes me jealous. that's what should happen in our house....
how does she feel about her friend having to work?
Sounds like Chava's SD
only not quite as bad. The good news is that your DH is taking his responsibility to heart and showing his daughter who's boss!
I'm confused with the above though. Does the SD not have a job, driver's permit or driver's license or is it the girlfriend? Either way, if neither of them have a permit or license, they shouldn't be asking for gas $$ to begin with to drive anything because the last thing you need is to deal with liability issues if someone were to get into a nasty car accident and get badly injured.
You guys did well...now the trick is to stick to your guns and don't let them take advantage of you. Not easy, but it can be done.
They make the mess, they clean it up! No excuses. That's the rule in my house and if they don't comply, I make them pay me!
MJ24
SD has no license
Yes, SD(18) has a car, but no driver's license. She flunked the driver's test once, and no amount of nagging from her dad will get her off her butt to take the test again. She has simply decided that she can continue to drive without a license and without insurance. And she's reminded us that because she's 18, we can't do anything about it. Being the bitch that I am, I also told her that we couldn't do anything about it when she ends up in jail. She shrugged.
Additionally, she's lost her learner's permit, and can't find the time to go to the DMV to get a new one. Of course she has no job, but "is trying" as hard as she can, but "people are just not hiring right now. " She's not in school and has no plans for education. We have no idea what she does with herself all day. She sleeps more than our cats.
This kid is following her brother and sisters down the loser pipeline pretty fast. Interestingly, DH is handling it a differently this time (4 other losers preceeded this one). In a week he plans to shut off her cell phone (he makes her pay her portion each month, and of course she doesn't), and he's told her that if she doesn't get her butt in gear she's going to be kicked out of the house--just like the three before her.
We'll see.
that is great
Sarah, the reason I do believe your relationship will stay strong is because your DH does show signs of actually listening, hearing, and even considering what you say.WOW!
Thanks
Thank you, Need2vent. We still have a long way to go. I am still looking for a good counselor so we can start hashing this stuff through. Two steps forward...one step back.