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So my DH stepped up....

Sarah101's picture

Submitted by Sarah101 on Fri, 01/11/2008 - 4:11pm

So after I ranted and raved about the concept of "team" and how I felt betrayed by my DH not reacting that his daughter(24) was stirring the pot of hate toward me and BD(11), he stepped up and took action!

DH informed the SD(24) that he feels like he has two families and that's not right. He told her that the only family events he would attend would be ones where HIS entire blended family was included--or at least invited. He also told her that he expects her to "make it right" with me, and until she does, she's not right with him. He told me that he reassured the SD(24) that he will always love her no matter what, but that doesn't mean he has to "like" her, and the more she stirs the pot and creates problems with his family, the less he likes her and wants to spend time with her.

I was stunned. What alien has invaded my enabling DH's body??? Smile

The response was immediate. This morning I had an email from SD(24) telling me she wants to talk and understands that "you may not be ready yet" (had to add that little dig of course--as if I am the problem). Still, it's progress.

I haven't replied to the SD(24), and need some sage advice on how to approach the situation. I have lost all respect for the b*tch and want to lay it on the line, but I know myself well enough to allow the emotion to pass before doing anything. Any suggestions?

Comments

Anne 8102's picture

Submitted by Anne 8102 on Fri, 01/11/2008 - 4:42pm

Usually it takes at least three or four beatings with the frying pan before they act! Wink It sounds like your DH did a great job of walking that fine line between having your back and not totally alienating his daughter. Kudos to him for that!

If you can achieve a workable truce with her, then I would say that's a good place to start. Whether any true affection ever develops doesn't even matter right now. You don't have to come out of this as her BFF or anything, but maybe if you can just attempt some sort of amicable and respectful peace between you, there's always the chance that something of a friendship can grow later on.

I'm so happy for you! This is great news!

~ Anne ~

"Adjust on the fly, or you're going to cry."
Steve Doocy, The Mr. and Mrs. Happy Handbook

Georgie Girl's picture

Submitted by Georgie Girl on Fri, 01/11/2008 - 10:45pm

Sarah101 I am soooo happy for you. Your Dh rocks!! That is the kind of team you have to be in order to survive. Wow, how cool. I am just tickled. Smile

Georgie

Most Evil's picture

Submitted by Most Evil on Tue, 06/01/2010 - 7:40pm

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need2vent's picture

Submitted by need2vent on Sat, 01/12/2008 - 7:25am

I saw my ex who would not do that last night out, fortunately he left the establishment( out drinking with his 32 year old son , cause supporting him 100% financially isn't enough ,you need to buy them beer too) when he saw me there.
I still love the man dearly, it kills me, but how could I continue to be with a man who did not expect his family to even try to respect me due to their issues , not things I had done.
I am so glad your DH is wiser or definately getting that way. Wonderful thing is rewards don't just pay off for you but him as well.
My ex still says he loves me and what you got is all it would take( but we are talking with his EX stepdaughter, not even his blood) , I just can't seem to "get it", could your DH please make a road trip to Tennessee and speak with my ex? LOL

"We don't understand life anymore at 40 then at 20, but we know it and admit it" Jules Renard