Hi everyone! I continue my quest to illustrate through example the result of poor parenting, poor boundaries, and allowing little entitled brats to grow into adult entitled brats.

Yes, I made the mistake of marrying the man I love. I had no idea the extent of the dysfunction with his 5 adult children until after-the-vows. Oh, had I known--and who in their right mind can really know?--I wouldn't be here now.

Anyway, here's the update.

SD19 is still addicted to cocaine, still lying to us that she is sober, and lives in a flop-house with other addicts. She's been to homeless shelters, but doesn't like that they make her get up and leave in the morning--no sleeping all day, can you believe that? DH runs down to the flophouse just about every weekend to take her to lunch and fill the car we bought her with gas. At least he knows better than to give her cash. Two weeks ago I accompanied DH on his weekly jaunt because I had business in the area, and over lunch SD19 informed us that she "doesn't want to work" and "isn't applying for a job." She's tried to get pregnant for the welfare money, but a recent bout with PID has thankfully made that impossible for the time being. Seems she's found better money as a drug mule, and maybe some dealing and hooking on the side.

SD19 hates me because I refuse to allow her back into our home. In his weak moments, DH accuses me of "not thinking right" by sticking to my guns wen he suggests that she should come back to the house for "a fresh start." SD19 will always be his little girl, and he will always have hope that she will turn herself around. He tries so darn hard to believe her lies because it's easier than admitting to the truth.

SS22 is still an alcoholic and pothead. He lives with his mother, and hasn't spoken to DH in months. He's in and out of jobs while trying to complete the terms of his probation. At a recent family wedding, he tried to talk to me (drunk, of course). I told him to "man up" and apologize to his father for his disrespect. He said he would. The silence is deafening. In the meantime SS22 has defaulted on his student loans and has dragged DH's good credit rating into the dump.

SD26 is getting married! The day after the big announcement she called DH to inform him that he promised to give her 10K for a wedding back when she was in 7th grade and she wanted the money ASAP. Bank transfer would be best. WWWWTTTTTTFFFFF????? Now, DH ad I are having money difficulties (mostly because of his habit of doling out our hard-earned cash to his adult brats), and we were just getting ahead a little because he stopped that practice a few months ago. Well, he "settled" with SD26 for 5K, and took out another loan without consulting me. To say I was pissed off is an understatement. Once again, the wants of the adult brats trump our marriage and our goals as a couple.

SD25 is happy because DH "gifted" a car to her! Actually, this had to be done to get DH off the title (l-i-a-b-i-l-i-t-y) and SD25 off our insurance policy. SD25 took that as permission not to repay the 6K she owes DH for the car. So her monthly payments to DH have stopped, although DH assures me that she will indeed pay for the car. YEAH, RIGHT. In the meantime, we continue to pay on the personal loan he took out for her car. SD25 has also defaulted on the student loans that DH co-signed on, and his credit rating has been downgraded to the point that he can't take out any more loans. But he did hurry and get the 5K for SD26's wedding before all this went down!

SD22 is the bright spot in all this. She continues to go to nursing school and not demand money. She is also the most disengaged from the rest of the family. At the recent family wedding, she took me aside and told me that I was an inspiration to her. I almost fell over in shock! I hugged her and she started to cry. Then I started to cry.

In summary, DHs good credit is now in ruin, and we are $11K more in the hole than we were a month ago. Together we can't get any more loans--I would have to use my good credit alone. God forbid we need a new roof this winter! DHs car is circling the drain, and I have no idea how he will get a loan for a new one. I sure as hell won't take on any more debt--especially because he ALLOWED his adult brats to ruin his personal credit.

I truly hate to treat my husband like this, but I have to think of myself now. Those blood-suckers have ruined him WITH HIS PERMISSION, but I am still OK. Aside from our home, we have no loans together. No combined credit. I have to put my BD12 through college in a few years, and by that time my personal credit will be outstanding.

I really thought that DH was getting his act together in terms of his adult kids! No such luck. Things go well for a while, then he resorts to old enabling behavior and shells out the cash we don't have. I always know when that happens because they start to call him all the time. The phone is ringing away.

Sigh. And this is marriage??????