My SD just turned 13. We drove 3 hours away and went to Dave and Busters. She picked it. We spent about $300 on everything..gas,food, tokens. My son is turning 13 in a few months and I will spend about the same.
We usually spend a few hundred on birthdays. That includes gifts, cake and decorations.

In my house-DD13 is SN
She only wants to have whatever she wants for dinner-and a birthday cupcake.
THAT IS IT.
No guests
no cake
no singing
no gifts
We did a big first birthday-with all the trimmings

That was the last time.
When she turned 10-I had many people show up without even being invited-and she told
every body to get leave and stay gone, when they did not leave fast enough for her-she ran to her room
and hid out lol.

Luckily my family understands.

As far as BM goes-we only did ONE co-birthday with her-when SS turned 5-I was turning 30 (WE SHARE A BIRTHDAY THIS IS IMPORTANT)
Her and I and DH got along great-that was when her and Big Man first started dating-everybody was getting along EXCEPT for BM's boyfriend (Big Man) he didn't approve of the ex husband and his wife getting along with the ex wife and her family.

If you took him out of the equation-it was a HUGE blast-everybody had a great time-we all chipped in like $100 and made the best of it.

The boyfriend threw a huge fit over the next several months because we (BM/Myself/DH) always included each other in everything-and now here we are 5yrs later-we have very little contact with BM and NO contact with her boyfriend.

Whatever party BM wants to do-she better work the corner or work a 4th/5th job (yes she currently works 2 sometimes 3 jobs)or something because we will no longer share costs with her or share parties with her.

First year for DD1... we had it at MIL's because she insisted. I, at the time, still wanted MIL to like me so I gave her the honor of DD's first birthday. Second year, I did it and the set-up was really exhausting. Third year I was a week within my delivery of DD2 so we just had a low key one and took her to the playground and out to eat.

I might do another one this year, but more as a setup for a playdate with the other kids.

I only do it at the insistence of DH--mainly because in my culture, we don't traditionally celebrate our own birthdays. Our birthday is technically mother's day. That morning we're supposed to bring our mothers two hard boiled eggs for breakfast (eggs were expensive in rural China) and kneel to her and thank her for giving us life. If our mothers are deceased, that day all of our food cannot be heated up and is all vegetarian. These days I send my mom a card/flowers or call her because often they're traveling. When we were little, my parents didn't want us to feel left out from our friends so they would at least take us out to a favorite restaurant or something.

But DH is caucasian so birthdays are a big deal. We've melded it where in the future, he will have our DDs thank me, but we also do a party for them.

A few hundred dollars seems to be about right. I know we've spent atleast 300$ on both SS and BS's first birthdays. SS's fourth birthday was his "Golden" birthday so we went to Disney World which was obviously way more expensive than a birthday party.

I did parties for my son(Chuck E Cheese, laser tag, roller skating, putt putt....) until he was 8 or 9.

I never considered them big parties. They were just normal parties. Price is subjective. $400 for a patty venue sounds pretty darn low to me. But I'm basing that on what it would cost here on NYC.

My parents never threw elaborate parties for us and we never did for SS either. Birthdays were special mostly family events and if there was an actual party there were usually only a relatively few friends in attendance.

If you keep it small and family oriented then all of them care special.

IMHO of course.

I am really really good at winning contests on the radio . But I spend hours and hours of the day five days a week calling and switching stations. I also sit at a
Desk at work and can listen to the radio. I am a poor person. BM spent $1000 taking SD17 to universal studios Halloween horror nights for her birthday. I won six tickets for Dd8 'a birthday last month and spent just the gas to get there . In my purse right now I have legoland, sea world tickets, and Busch Gardens tickets. We went to aquatica for spring break on my winnings as well as the county fair. I just won Ariana grande concert tickets and Muse and Incubus ticket concert tickets. I failed to win laser tag tickets today. But I won a pizza gift card. I have all my coworkers winning. So I do fun expensive things for their birthdays and Christmas and I don't spend a dime. I also sell things I won. I am going to get $150 for Welcome to Rockville tickets I won and that I hope that will cover a hotel room and we can do sea world and legoland and have summer vacation. We do have to pack peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and bring refillable water bottles on these free theme park trips but I get creative . I picked up 10 free skating passes. I did the cake at home and we all traveled to the skating place with the 9 guests for my daughter's 9Th birthday .

I am also in a Florida so there is a steady stream of theme park be caller 10 contests. But I paid a lot of money for a gymnastics party in my day but now I have Dd2 and a huge childcare bill and no more overtime. I think there are ways to give them a special day without spending a butt load of money . I have four kids and I do it all the time . I am
Also screwed when Dd2 turns 3 and she is no longer free. Most of These contest tickets come in packs of four with a packing pass.

21 - that's about the only one I cater for, more because it's my freedom lol.....

my kid never grew up with parties, he had a choice, big fancy party with friends or expensive gift... he always took the gift, he does not like the party thing.. maybe because I never did it, no idea...

Aergia's birthdays - I'm not involved at all, I could give a shyt.... BM did a huge sweet 16 thing, cakes you name it... week later I dumped the cake in the bin, after I took photo's of it, actually BM surprised me it was very nice, Aergia mentioned it taste like shit... I simply told a friend what a shame I had to trash the cake and showed her the picture.. ( }:) the friend told BM)..... all hell broke loose and BM had a go at Aergia for being an ungrateful little brat blablablabla (guess who raised her this way)..... now nothing will happen for Aergia...

SO does not believe in elaborate parties either..

With my BS it depends on what we have going on. His birthday is 4th of July. Sometimes I do something a couple of weeks before. We went to a fun center place. I think that was his 9th birthday and I did that because we were going to be out of town for a wedding on his actual birthday, so the day was going to be more about the bride and groom and not him. Plus I had the time and money.

Another time he has his friends over and we did water balloons and a cook out, fire pit, glow sticks, etc It was basically like a big sleepover with cake. I think that was his 10th birthday.

We've had big 4th of July parties and then just incorporated his birthday too.

So really I have no rhyme or reason for when or why I let him have parties other then if I feel like dealing with the kids or not.

ours were always fairly low-key. one year we went to chuck e cheese, but it was just the very smallest birthday package since we had less than 10 people. any other birthday was either dinner out with the family and maybe a friend, or having 3 or 4 friends over for a sleep-over with pizza and a cookie-cake.