bm took us back to court, right before she did, her state asst was ended because she collects dissability, so she took ss out of daycare with out dh's consent even though they are supposed to have 50/50 say. Im assuming her financial downfalls does not mean that she starts to make 100% of the decision of ss's day care status. dh never went to battle over her braking the court order and taking him out of day care because we were already gearing up to go to court. and he though it would get handled in there.

after mediation on the next morning oct 7th, bm said that she was looking for a job and would be checking out day care places, because she KNOWS ss should be in one to get ready for kindergarden......so here we are nov 18th and all hell is breaking loose!

bm watches ss every day! the only full day we have ss where he doesnt see bm is every other sunday. other than that dh has to drop off and pick up ss every day he works that we have ss.....at the beginning we though ss was still behaved and ok, so we figured until bm got off her fat lazy but and got a job, she was a free baby sitter, after all thats what she wanted anyways was to watch ss. WELL>>>> now things have shown their true colors! ss is becoming horribly behaved, talking back, being very moody, being rude, not appreciating the things we do for him, and acting like pure white trash just like his mother. Yesterday dh picked up ss to discover that they had been roasting hot dogs for dinner in the fire place on hangers and bm was not watching ss and he burnt his chin with the hanger.

ss has become oddly attached to bm, always requesting to go back there if we arent doing exactly what he wants, requesting to call several time during his now short visits with us, but when with bm he doesnt even want to talk to dh.

I feel like we have lost all closeness with ss, and dh feels the same way. I feel like bm is documenting stuff and bad mouthing dh and i along with mil and it could all blow up in our face

this morning dh told bm that she had until the first of the month to be able to provide 50% of childcare expenses, and that if not she would be served with papers to go back to court, her response, i dont have the money, and im not going to go off dissability to make only 10 dollars an hour when the state pays me more to do nothing. dh said well then ill go back to court and that 119 of cs that was waived that YOU owe me, will be enforced and then you will pay whether you like it or not.

bms response? okay smnikki, ok smnikki

so what do you think we should do? what do you think the side effect or concequences will be eventually, i think bm will get a job after the first of the year, so based on this only lasting till end of january...but in a month its already gotten horrible. Would the court do anything if dh filed? when its 5050 and dh wants him in and bm wants to keep him home what should we do? do we need evidence that bm does not provide adequte care?

do i just disengage and say who cares if he doesnt want to be in our home...dh punishes him EVERY time he is out of line or mis behaved. do i say who cares if hes white trah and fails in school, hes not my kid and its saving dh 250 a month in child care expenses?

i really miss our closeness and our amazing times together, ss and i were so close and in a matter of 2 months we barely speak. ugh i just dont know what to do!