Upset over un-loyal in laws! how do I deal with this?
today my husbands cousin accepted my friend request on myspace. Of course as i had expected...BM is a top friend. I seriously want to write off his entire family for being so Fuking stupid. You would think that it would get easier, but NO, still i get so hurt that his family does this. This cousin was the same one that was saying, "we all really need to do whats best for ss, and all be cordial to each other" to which i replied, uh, why dont you tell her that? so you want dh and i to support her and be nice to her even when she is harrasing us and taking him on our days? wtf? are they really this freaking brain dead, my dh says they all didnt like her when they were together, and now all of a sudden they cant live with out her.
I feel like saying, HEY what about family? doesnt that mean any thing to you? if she was civil with us then that would be one thing, but the woman is a pathetic piece of crap.
at the end of september we are supposed to have a bbq since we did a destination wedding...there are his aunts and father who i adore who i know would love to celebrate, but the rest of the family i want to just tell them to go have a party with bm! part of me wants to call the whole bbq/party off but then i dont want to exclude the family that i do like. ugh, im so frustrated over this, and i feel like i cant tell his cousin any thing because it will start drama...but i feel like she should be called out on this. My dh supports what ever i want to do as far as the bbq/party goes.....i just cant decide.
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I have the same
I have the same problem...but BM is civil for the most part, and I still don't like it. Therefore I get along with DHs (very small) family, but they are out of state and I am not close to them.
"I child proofed my whole house, but they STILL get in!"
what i want to do...
is call his cousin or write her and say, "how would you feel if you were me? what whould you do if your in laws did this to you...etc" but i dont think any amount od reasioning would work
thank you
im going to delete his cousin right now!
lol
i should have read this first... i was so confused
im the exact same!
i always want to talk things out...and dh is like f them we just wont have anything to do with them!
I usually want to
talk things out too, but sometimes you can't reason with an unreasonable person! You can't fix stupid!
Hell, still go ahead with your BBQ in honor of your wedding...
But if they invite her - it is your party - kick her out.... and if any family members think that is too harsh - it is still your party - kick them out too.
********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************
they arent that stupid...
that bm would ever come or be invited...seriously im just sick of it all....the other issue is that mil is not invited, but my sil's will be, but then what about my dh's grandparents on his moms side........they have not called or tried to communicate except for a card (no gift) for our weding. no messege or anything........i dont want to invite them either, but their old and i dont want to look like the bad guy......im just sick and tired of his family putting us through this crap! oh yeah, mil has not called since we got back on the 29th, not even once....thank god for small miricles, lol
This didnt become a problem
until recently for me, but I dont give a crap anymore. DH's family is a bunch of red-neck, trailer trash POS anyhow, (no offense to anyone living in a trailer!) so their opinion of me is moot to me!
My dad always says "your opinion of me is none of my business." He's right.
i know how you feel, excluded and left out. I felt that way for years with the outlaws. I no longer care. I think you just have to resolve yourself to that mindset, ya know!
BTW...I found a website to vent about your Il's...... www.ihatemyinlaws.com go read some of their stories and your situation wont be so bad!
I live in Kentucky... can you tell
Ya know, when I started dating my BF, he told me that his ex was also his sister... now she is his STEP sister. His mom married her dad AFTER he was married to his ex.
Now, his mom and her dad are still married... so that makes grandparents interesting for BF's kids. It creates all kinds of drama!!!
Hang in there, my opinion, she has no business there for YOUR and DH's day!
Take care and keep your head up!!
We ended up not having anything
We eloped to escape the drama and no one was there but the JP and another couple. My MIL, who loves me, wanted to have a party for me, but Evil, SIL1, picked a big fight with DH as soon as we got married. So no party.
You could just have a party with your friends and forget family. They don't want to celebrate your marriage, so why should they be invited? The worst family relationships are a blend of enmity and obligation.