Article--Kids are not the most important in a family
Saw this great article shared on FB about the problems that have resulted from parents elevating their kids to be the most important in the family. Although it seems to reflect a traditional family perspective, I think the issue is magnified X 1000 in step-families.
http://lacrossetribune.com/lifestyles/relationships-and-special-occasion...
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Thank you for sharing this
Thank you for sharing this article I am showing this to my DH.
When I met my husband, I told
When I met my husband, I told him I understood that his kids would have to come first. He told me that would not be the case and in general, I believe he lived up to that statement.
As a parent, you have a responsibility to your kids to keep them safe and provide for them to the best of your ability. You also have a responsibility to raise good citizens.
Catering to your kids to the detriment of your marriage is harmful.
Kids NEEDS come first. Not
Kids NEEDS come first. Not kids desires.
You have to keep them safe and provide for them to the best of your ability, absolutely 100% agreed - those come first.
Not sleepovers. Not movies. Not games. Not treats. Not toys. Not devices.
Kids needs come first. Kids desires will never come before my marriage. I made that very clear to SO - that when we are married, it's US. We do not invite anyone to make decisions for us, including the kids. We will live live for us - and if we include the kids, it will be BOTH of us including the kids - thus JOINT decisions...
I will not provide for his son anything more than I would provide to my own - and if he wants to provide he can go ahead... after his commitments to "the family" (i.e. once our bills are paid, he can do what he likes with his discretionary money but he can't use joint money for beer etc...) are done.
If they're not happy about it... well... I've done my job, they're 18, buh bye.
I agree. I also don't ask
I agree. I also don't ask the kids, where we should eat, what we should do, nothing. I always tell my husband, this is a dictatorship, not a democracy. I don't need to consult a bunch of kids on anything. They love inserting their opinion and my standing line is "who asked you?, go be a kid somewhere"
Right - if I ask for your
Right - if I ask for your input you're welcome to share it... otherwise, I don't even want to hear a Sigh if you don't like the decision I'm making... lol
My DH told me the other day
My DH told me the other day that he loves his kids and "has a soft spot" for them - but that he's very clear about his job. To launch them into their own lives. He says his job with me is to help build a satisfying life together and, in that sense, his commitment to me is primary and long-term
I'm involved in a very
I'm involved in a very expensive hobby. The amount of parents I see doing ridiculous things like pulling out second mortgages and working multiple jobs so that thier kid can participate (and get creamed by the kids who have millionaire parents backing them). Thy can do it on a smaller scale on a budget, but to take on mountains of debt because you are convinced Susie is the next Olympic gold medalist is insane.