Mother's Day and Mother's birthday with mother. Child's birthday, every other year.

I would also spell out the logistics of visitation...
∙ meet halfway?
∙ meet at the home or at a neutral location?
∙ share 50/50 the cost of transporting for visits?
∙ can drop off/pick up be done by a third party, like a stepparent, grandparent, etc.?
∙ can't move more than X miles away from other parent?

I'd put a no interference clause in there that spells out how and when parents should communicate, i.e. don't bother each other at work, unless there's an emergency; don't call after 9pm or before 8am, unless there's an emergency; neither parent will interfere with phone calls between the child and the other parent; etc. Each parent will respond promptly to the other parent's communications, but phone calls shall be limited to X number of phone calls per day/week. I'd also want something in there that limits phone calls during visits to one per day, otherwise you can get into a situation where BM is calling constantly and interrupting father's time with child.

It's really hard for a child this young, but try to plan as far ahead as you can. Whatever arrangement that works now for an infant will not likely work later on and the further ahead you plan, the less likely you'll have to modify a zillion times. That Wednesday evening isn't going to work if they still live 60 miles apart once the child starts school and, frankly, I don't think the Wednesday works at all now if two of the three hours is spent travelling between the two homes. I would ask for Wednesday night and Saturday night overnight starting at age one, then switching to EOW once the child starts Kindergarten.

I would also specify language that they would split any school holidays, such as spring break, the Thanksgiving holiday, the Christmas holiday, winter breaks, etc. Putting in every other holiday is great, but if they get a week off for spring break, then both parents should have a share of that week.

Another thing is giving each other the right of first refusal as far as babysitting. If she's going to hire a babysitter for more than, say, four hours, then the father should be the first choice for babysitter.

Just a few things that come to mind.

♥ Georgia, the un-stepmom ♥

"Good men don't just happen. They have to be created by us women." (from ROSEANNE)

with Georgia. I have learned over the years that you have to spell everything out and word it so a kindergartener would understand it. BM's, in my experience, will do everything they can to mess with the order. Plus, the more you go to court to modify, the more costly it can become.

What she said. Personally, we don't do right of first refusal, it isn't necessary in our circumstances, but a lot of people do. If you do, consider specifying that time with SM or SF is not considered "babysitting" for purposes of the ROFR. Our agreement has a clause in it that neither parent will interfere with the bonds of affection between stepparents and children.

Specify that neither parent will interfere with children's feelings of love and affection for the other parent.

If you get into school issues, consider adding that each parent shall have a right to attend school events, sports activities, parent-teacher conferences -- whatever your DH considers important -- even if they occur on the other person's time. Specify whether this includes dr. appts.

Specify obligations with respect to transfer of clothing between households. Certainty is better than arguing about it later.

Specify notice etc. if a parent chooses to move out of the current County etc., specify re-opener clause if this happens.

Our agreement doesn't address this, and it is not necessary in our circumstances, but from what I've seen here, you might want to specify what happens if the child is sick (does the schedule stay the same? does the child stay put?), and whether the child gets to choose to deviate from the schedule when older. Technically it's a legal violation to allow a child to avoid visitation if visitation is required by court order, but it would help to have a specific recognition that spending time in both homes is in the child's best interest until the age of 18. (Some people would disagree with this, but I firmly believe that a child needs both parents, and should not be allowed to choose to avoid one home, even as a teen.)

Specify co-parenting principles in the agreement. There are templates on the web if you search "co-parenting plans".

I would put specific dates/ages into the agreement for re-evaulation

I would plan extra time for the grandparents

I would go for more time at age 3 instead of the summer before school. The reason for this is to negate the argument of "school getting ready to start" when/if you want to go for more visitation at that time. It is planning ahead.

What about putting in who claims the baby, make it that on even years she gets the exemption and on odd years he gets the exemption.