DH is supposed to have custody of SS this year~ from 12 Christmas Eve until the same time Christmas Day. Last month, BM emailed us saying "I am telling you right now that you will NOT have him for Christmas Eve", because she said that's when her household opens their gifts. Then they got into this whole exchange with DH saying he should be here and BM fighting him. Then she said her husband agreed with my husband BUT the order doesn't say she has to bring him. We said the order doesn't say we have to either, but the judge did say it needs to be worked out between the two.

So she said her husband had an "idea"~ keep SS with them for Christmas Eve and bring him here before bedtime, and then he can wake up with us to open gifts on Christmas Day. My husband had already mentioned something like this, because she didn't follow holiday schedule for Thanksgiving either....so it wasn't a new idea like she was making it out to be. And then I think she said she's picking SS up at 11 that day, to visit her husband's family.

SO, as she wants it, SS will only be here to sleep on Christmas Eve and into the next morning, and we will actually get to spend about 3 and a half waking hours with him that day. DH mentioned how this is severely cutting back on the holiday schedule. She doesn't care. Her stance is that he should get to spend time with both, equally, and that is being "fair". The thing is, he was never here for ANY holiday last year...not even on a split schedule. He just wouldn't come at all. She knows the buses do not run on most of those holidays, so we really don't have a way to get him. For last Christmas, she claimed that he didn't come because she thought my husband was still in jail. He got out Dec. 23rd, thankfully, just in time for the holiday. And both of us called her, sent text messages, even wrote in a letter that he was trying to contact to find out if SS would visit. Ever since then, she has claimed that we NEVER got in touch with her at that time. I know that is bull.

Then there was the Easter before he officially got custody. We'd made plans ahead of time for him to visit at least~ so we got him a basket and filled it up. She told us in texts that she was leaving soon, and her husband and kids would all be here shortly. But this was also at the time the income tax debacle was going on...after she had yelled that she was keeping all of it and why I wasn't entitled to any of it. Just a lot of issues, a lot of things she had dumped on us at that point, so there was a lot of tension leading up to that day. So we texted her back saying "Look, we're not happy about this, and we are mad at you, but let's just be civil for the sake of the kids and the day". That one statement unleashed a monster.
Not only did they say they were NOT going to come, but swearing insults at me and my husband, we started getting texts 3 times in a minute! In all they sent us about 35 texts that day, and then the same number over the next two days. It was ridiculous. We would tell them "Stop...this is Easter, don't do this today". But they would keep it up, saying progressively more horrible things and making threats, then they would type "don't respond back". Anyway, at one point she said she would bring him "after his nap". But when it was about 7:00 she said "It's too late, sorry but he slept for 3 hours"....point being, he didn't come at all.

Then a day or two after that, she wanted to make arrangements to get his Easter gifts from us. My husband asked "Am I going to get to see him or spend time with him?". She said No, she would have her other kids in the car with her, so he should just bring it out, he could "see" him then if he wanted to 'that badly'. I don't think there was a reason he couldn't come in for a few minutes~ she knocked on the door and talked to DH for a few minutes....now she wouldn't just leave her kids in the car outside if she could do that! So either they WEREN'T with her, or she had her SF or husband there with the kids, in which case she still could have brought SS in. But she didn't, she just knocked at the door wanting to know where his gift was. Now maybe this was petty, but DH told her, we can give it to him next time he comes to visit. That's when she and her hubby started texting us with all the B.S. again. She actually pulled pretty much the same thing that Christmas, saying he couldn't come but she wanted to pick up his gift..that time we did just give it to her. I think that's why DH didn't want to do that again that Easter.

Our problem is this....so she tries to make it known that she does not want to follow the order. With the way she's talking, even if we DO manage to get to her place to get him, it sounds like she still wants to insist on having SS for Christmas Eve. So if we try to pick him up on schedule...I don't know what she'll do.

But even then, it's not enough for her to try to tell us what to do and how to do things....she wants DH to agree that she's right and is being fair. And if he doesn't then she likes to say "Get over yourself, you're sick, this is what's fair to SS, I've run this by others and they agree it's fair, so you need to deal with it". Today she sends another email "I understand your points about how he wasn't there in the past, but it's all in the past, we need to deal with the present and he deserves time with both. So deal with it. Let's agree on something else". I feel, OF COURSE she wants to overlook the past, because then she got "retro" support, but doesn't want to stick to custody order now. That means, for the UMPTEENTH time, that she wants everything set up HER way. AND have us "eat it and like it" so to speak. Now, don't get me wrong, any time that we CAN get with SS is a good thing. But I hate this browbeating "my way or the highway" attitude, and how much of a hypocrite she is for getting DH stuck to her support order, but she doesn't want SS to spend time with us according to the custody. This on top of the fact that she dropped her husband's order before he had a contempt hearing, tells us she lets things slide when her first husband can't pay...but she won't ever back off of us.