I had a big day yesterday, I took the advice several of you gave and went down to the police station where BM was arrested for her DWI, and then to the criminal court records to get her sentancing info. Oh my gosh!!!!

Bm was arrested for her DWI in March because she wreked her car and totaled it (for the second time since I have known her, but I don't have any info on the first wreck, just a pic of her old car) in what the responding police officer called a "Major single car accident". The officer wrote in the report that when he arrived BM was standing next to the wrecked car and when he asked what happened she said she had been driving, but didn't know how the car got wrecked.

Then I got more info than I bargained for. Along with her sentancing info, there was a sheet that BM had also plead guilty to a separate incident of assault and bodily injury!

I asked for that police report also, and would you believe that two months after her wreck and DWI, she went over to her ex-friends apartment, banged on her door yelling and flipping her off, and then, when the girl opened the door, BM spayed her with pepper spray!!!! :O

Her bond was revoked and she was arrested again, but DH and I think it looks like the courts took it easy on her. She got her license suspended for one year and they gave her an occupational license with the condition of her having one of those breath things in her car. She got 15 days jail time, but I think she gets to do it as time served labor detail one day per week.

Like I said, I want to jump up and down that finally there is some proof that Bm is crazy. Then I want to puke thinking that SD is in her care right now. That BM is her mother and will be forever, and my sweet SD is probably going to try her whole life to understand that sick, selfish woman. I do have faith though. Faith that that little girl will overcome this, and I will be right here for her always.

After I got all of that info, I took it over to our attorney's office and went over it with him. This is where I need some opinions;

Temporary orders were set on Aug 23 and a social study ordered. We attended the orientation, but have yet to be assigned a case worker to begin the social study.
BM has at her leisure, violated all three of the things agreed to in the temp orders.
1. Each parent allowed a daily phone conversation with the child while in the other's care.
2. SD restriced from visiting the residence of maternal g-ma. (she's visited several times and spent the night there)
3. Great g-ma is supposed to be caring for SD when BM is at work at the house BM moved to, but great g-ma told DH that would never work because she has to be at maternal g-ma's house to do her job. Now BM put SD in daycare.

Then yesterday we found out about BM's criminal record. So with Bm being in contempt of court, and now knowing she has a criminal record including violence, I'm thinking lets get in front of a judge and have the temp orders changed to SD spending as little time with BM as poss. until the social study is complete. Not what our attorney is saying. He says we might be pushing the patience of the Judge by taking up their time when there is already a social study ordered. He says that even though these things are bad, they do not directly put SD in danger. What do you guys think??

I feel like not doing something is as if DH and I are saying "that's okay" and it absolutely is not okay! Our attorney said that his suggestion is for us to put together a list of questions we want BM to answer under oath so he can send it to her attny and get the case moving even while we wait for the social study. That's something, but I don't know that it's enough. DH and I feel that BM is seriously disturbed and we want the court to know that.

I could sure use some thougts if anyone feels like sharing. I think the opinions of people outside give me a clearer picture of what a judge will think. Maybe.:?

Please keep in mind, a judge thought BM's mom beating her up was serious enough to issue a restraining order until the temp orders were set. But then at the hearing for temp orders our attorney went wimpy on us and I think he and BM's attorney screwed things up by trying to get DH and BM to work something out for temp orders and then tried the judges patience by taking too long and finally had a judge from another court sign off on it because our judge had gone to lunch. I am still mad about it. Point being, I don't think a judge actually read the affadavits from DH and myself from the night BM got beat up when the temp orders were set. HElP!!!