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Sparklelady's picture

Submitted by Sparklelady on Fri, 06/12/2015 - 7:05am

SS 16 is out.

He does not live here anymore. He will not live with us again. He will never drive anything I own. I will never have to live with his lies in my home again. If he fails, I don't have to watch it happen. If he knocks up anybody, I won't be embarrassed that he did so while he lived under my roof. And I will never have to be angry that my son has different rules again.

Go forth, SS16, be successful in all you do. Make good choices. Or not. You are not my monkey, and now I don't even have to keep a cage for you.

Comments

Monchichi's picture

Submitted by Monchichi on Fri, 06/12/2015 - 7:08am

Oh you're just looking to jinx it! Congrats and may this be the end of the tough times for you guys.

Sparklelady's picture

Submitted by Sparklelady on Fri, 06/12/2015 - 8:02am

Lol, nah, I made sure my husband was on the same page about SS not coming back to live with us before I dared to put it in writing Wink

hereiam's picture

Submitted by hereiam on Fri, 06/12/2015 - 7:26am

Does he still have any contact with your DH?

My SD stopped coming over for good when she was 16. She kept in contact with DH on the phone but he only saw her occasionally. I still got kind of stressed every time she called because I knew BM would want to continue the drama, with SD as her puppet. Luckily, DH did not fall for any of her tries at manipulation.

Good luck and enjoy!

Sparklelady's picture

Submitted by Sparklelady on Fri, 06/12/2015 - 7:58am

Yes, he's not cut out of our life. Just our home. DH is leaving it to SS16 to reach out now because he's hurt, but he'll be spending time with his son soon I'm sure. My grief was always over the drama the kid brought to our home, so as long as that drama takes place elsewhere, I'm totally fine with it.

Sparklelady's picture

Submitted by Sparklelady on Fri, 06/12/2015 - 8:22am

That's the one, Sally!

I'm terribly sorry my husband has been so hurt by this. But I'm also terrifically relieved that this particular drama will no longer take place within my home.

Sparklelady's picture

Submitted by Sparklelady on Fri, 06/12/2015 - 8:56am

We did have a talk along those lines. Actually, I'm surprised just how angry DH is. He's always made excuses for SS16 so my fear was we'd repeat that pattern. This time, DH seems genuinely sorry for ever doubting me when I brought up issues, genuinely fed up with the choices of his kid, and I would guess genuinely pissed that his kid would walk away from him.

We did discuss if there might be an opportunity in the future to repair the relationship with SS16 - but it will not include an invitation to return to our home. Once a liar, it's virtually impossible to shake that reputation. It would be very different if we were dealing with a younger child, but 16 is waaaaay old enough to know better. Besides, he'll never come back - our rules aren't going to change and god knows his mother never will, so there's no incentive.

ALittleBit's picture

Submitted by ALittleBit on Fri, 06/12/2015 - 1:10pm

Your situation sounds soooo similar to mine!! I too was relieved when my SD15 moved back to her BM. Too much drama, lying, sneakiness going on. I would make her face the situations she created thru DH, bc he wanted to go easy on her. He was just happy that 1 of his kids was living with him..doesnt mean you excuse bad behavior. Its not my problem anymore, and it has been 6 mths already...things are sooo much better.

Happy Days Ahead for you....Peace on the Horizon!!