We had a feeling this was coming. BM has been threatening to take SD8 away from us since FSD11 stopped coming to stay with us every other week last November.

The papers were delivered on Saturday (yes, of course, Valentine's Day). The affadavit has countless lies & uses quotes out of context. Big shocker there. She's using the "keeping the girls together" line as her reason for wanting SD8 full-time. (We would have her every other weekend. Although, she's adding in Monday to the "weekend", more than likely to cover Monday holidays. This way we have SD8, not BM. You might think I'm joking, but we've had SD8 almost EVERY day there was no school. So since I work for the state, I get all these holidays off, but have to spend them taking care of SD8. Which I wouldn't mind if she knew how to entertain herself. Instead, I get interrupted every 10 minutes. I should keep track of how many times she comes in here while I'm typing this!)

Let me list out the changes BM claims in the affadavit to have seen in SD8 since FSD11 stopped coming to our house:

1) Increased moodiness (not at our house)
2) More defiance (at least she's putting the "more" in there because SD8 is always defiant & stubborn, but we haven't noticed anything different)
3) Emotionally distant (not at our house)
4) Angry (not at our house)
5) Sad (not at our house)
6) Tearful (not at our house, unless it's homework related!)
7) Confused (no more than usual!)
Not as cooperative (this kind of goes with #2, doesn't it?!)
9) Not the sweet, fun loving child she was just three months ago (she actually seems HAPPIER since FSD11 isn't with us anymore)

So my question is, if BM is seeing all this stuff, maybe the problem is at BM's house? Because honestly, SD8 seems to be thriving here. The first weekend with FSD11 here, I expected waterworks. Nope. SD8 was happy as a clam. And that has not changed. The only change I've noticed is SD8 being a little more secretive about things & this is why. When my husband asked her about BM wanting to change custody, SD8 already knew about it. But she was told not to mention it to us unless we specifically asked. So this poor kid has been holding that on her shoulders for months. She then went to tell my husband that she did not want to live with BM full-time. She said that she also told BM the same thing (BM must have loved that!). SD8 wants the every other week schedule to remain the same. The idea of seeing us 4 days a month upsets her. So if SD8 really did tell BM this (which she seemed really honest about), then BM is lying in the affadavit when she claims that SD8 living with her full-time is in SD8's best interest. If we are doing nothing harmful to SD8 & she openly wants to be with us every other week, how is it in her best interest to take her away?

After our talk with SD8 yesterday, she seemed very happy (probably relieved) & the 3 of us had a better day than we've had in a long time. Also, the knot that has been in my stomach for the last month or so is gone. I had been wondering what she was going to do & when. Now I know. I'm still worried about all the crap we're going to go through & the money we're going to lose, but I'm trying to block that out until we get there. It does make me angry because my husband & I have been saving money for a house & we almost have our down payment. I have a feeling we may not be buying a house this year now. I want to cry whenever I think about this. We work so hard. We've been in this apartment for almost 3 years, working towards paying off debt & saving what we can. The longer we are stuck here, the longer our life & dreams are on hold. We'd like to start a family of our own, but the idea of having a baby in this place is overwhelming. We could do it, but we have such a lack of space now. Adding in all that baby related stuff...yikes! But it is doable if it happens.

Then when I think about BM, my blood boils. This woman can't even take care of SD8 every other week & she wants her full-time? This is only being done to hurt my husband because BM is angry that she now has FSD11 all the time. Plus, if SD8 is in BM's care more often, BM can do all kinds of things & we'd never know. She's already leaving them home alone for 3 hours at a time, how long until it's all day or overnight? How would we ever know unless SD8 told us? How long would SD8 go without bathing? (Because some weeks at BM's she doesn't bathe at all.) How many times would she go to school in dirty clothes? (Because BM rarely does laundry & she certainly doesn't buy new clothes for SD8. That's our job. Us & hand-me-downs.) How often would SD8 do her homework? (Because BM never checks up on this & SD8 lies, saying it's done. We check!) The list goes on & on. Believe me, this will all come up when we talk to a lawyer. And documentation, pictures, etc.

BM is a leach on society. She takes every handout possible. I'm sure her lawyer will be paid through tax dollars. Her mediation fee was. She probably gets off on the fact that she gets all this free help, while we have to spend our hard-earned money...all because of her! Sometimes I hate the fact that our state gives so many handouts. If only I had gotten knocked up by "accident" TWICE. I could have gone to college for free, extended my teenage years another decade, had tax dollars pay for my kids' daycare while I'm off hanging out with kids closer to my kids' age than my own. Maybe I'd be living in my dream house by now, too. Damn, what a moron I am!