DH had a friend in from out of town. This is an old high school friend and we are in our forties so this is a long time friend of DH's that I am quite fond of. We often talk about his kids and the ex who live out of state and we also talk about ss13 and his poor behavior and his crazy BM.

The friend told me that during his last visit DH asked him after we had spent a considerable amount of time discussing ss13's unacceptable behavior, "am I really that bad of a father?"

The friend felt bad for him but told him the truth: that he spent more time trying to be the kid's friend rather than being a father and trying to turn him Into a good person. DH tried to defend himself, stating that he did he best he could on his own and ... But the friend wouldn't hear it and just said "we all know what you were dealing with but it's still your job to be the father. Not the friend".

Needless to say, I'm still quite fond of this friend an am happy he's moved back.