SS Having a Hard Time Buying BM's Lies
SS13 is old enough now to try and reason with his mother, but may just be coming to the understanding that BM is full of SH**!
He's always asking to spend more time with her and we tell him it's fine, but she needs to drive the hour to come get him and return him. Right now she has EOWE and this has been the case since last summer. Before that, she was basically absent for the 7 years prior. So no, we do not go out of our way for her at all.
We offered that she could pick him up next Thursday after school and spend an extra day with him since he had no school on Friday. She gave us an excuse that she works Thursday and Friday, however, she supposedly only works 5 hours per week. We told SS13 what his mom said but encouraged him to talk to her about it.
He knows her "work" is extremely flexible. So last night on his call with her, i could hear him asking her if she could work earlier/later so that they could spend more time together. (She has no problem leaving him to go to work when she has him during her scheduled visits, so he knows this is not a real issue). He also knows that her boss lets her adjust her schedule and she can work after hours (She restocks shelves in the grocery/drug store).
After his call, we asked what she said and he let us know that they were going to talk more about it on Wednesday.
It's sad to hear him try to reason with his mom, when all he wants to do is be with her. He's old enough now that he has facts to have a logical discussion with her and her lies don't work as well with him. She has a huge history of telling him one thing to his face an then not following through but he has always let it slide because he barely saw her so he didn't have any facts to call her on her BS. Plus he was younger then.
We'll see. I'm waiting for this moment that everyone keeps saying will happen - where he'll magically "get it" and be thankful for everything his dad and I have done for him and stop thinking BM is this wonderous, magical, mythilogical person like the Great Oz!
They say it will come. Could this be the beginning?
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Comments
You're right and he is
You're right and he is generally a good kid. Sure he gets PASed by Mommy when he visits her and we usually have to deal with the hiccups associated with it for a day or two after he returns, but then he generally falls back in line and it's business as usual.
He does have some disrespect issues and tries anything he can to get out of his homework, but he's come SUCH a long way in the past two years; it's really incredible and our family constantly comments on how happy he now is and his improved attitude in general.
It's difficult for me because my children are SO extremely polite and respectful and just generally joyful to be around. (Really, I'm not just saying that because I'm their mom. We've even had teachers tell us they think of them as their own kids and that they're their favorite kids. LOL.). I'm not used to a child in my home, that I go out of my way for constantly, acting up in the way that he does. But then again, he was raised in a VERY different home than my children were and the relationship that he's witnessed between his father and Cookoo BM is extremely different than mine and my XH's.
I like to think that this is
I like to think that this is the case, but sometimes it's hard. Between the blow ups, sprinkled with the occasional "I hate you"s, it can be easy to want to give up.