Is that normal? I have been with H since SS was about 3. He is now 8. When he was younger and we first got together it was difficult because of the whole guilt parenting by H but H got that under control real quick after about 6 months so things have been good up until about the last 6 months are so. Don't get me wrong things are not bad they just seem harder.

BM is mouthy and hateful and SS is bringing that attitude out at our home when you get on to him. Wether it be hurry up SS get your clothes on were late and SS repsonds in a hateful/aggravated tone "I am hurrying" UH no your not your staring at the floor and when I call him on the smart tone he says again in a smart tone "I am not being smart." Before Christmas his teacher who adores him called H to let him know (cause BM tells us nothing) that SS was struggling recently and pouting and smarting off when she corrected his work. Now H lets the smart mouth slide and sometimes he corrects him. I on the other hand am real quick to call him out on it. I was raised with an iron fist and I would never dream of speaking to my parents or any other adult in that tone. BM and SS talk to each other this way as BM has complained to us about it and we have heard from others. I cannot help how she allows him to act but I cannot stand it at my house. I had heart to heart with H yesterday about it and he admitted that he lets SS slide because he is not with us all the time and I told him he was doing SS a great disservice and how would he feel if SS smarted off to him in front of people at church would it embarass you that your son talks to you that way? and what about him talking to the teacher that way? in SS mind if dad and mom do not get onto me for talking that way to them then it must be OK to talk to others that way. Then SS has these "looks that could kill" when tell him to cut the xbox off or you have told him the 3rd time to pick his stuff up. Then he cries without fail when you get onto him. Now the crying does nothing but infuriate H and I and SS knows that but boy howdy if he does not cry louder and harder and yells for his mommy - when just 5 minutes earlier he is telling us how his mom is always mad at him and yelling at her BF and hitting him. Now I remember crying as a child when I got in trouble cause my feeling were hurt my mom was yelling at me and I would try to fight back the tears cause she would whip me for crying. Now the attittude I have described makes up for about 10% of his behavior while he is with us. The other 90% he is hanging on his H and I telling us how much he loves us and tells us we are special cause we are a team and love each other. He will be playing his game in his room and H and I watch TV in living room and SS will come to the door and say Love Ya'll and then go back to playing. SS truly is a good kid with all heart but the attitude I cannot take it.

As with most of you here due to child support payments that H makes most of what SS has at my house is due to me. We provide stability and discipline but also the luxuries like going to the movies and vactaions to the beach every year and doing kid activities. I just feel so unappreciated by SS but then I think StepG he is only 8 how do can you expect him to see what you and really understand it?

Is this normal for boys or all kids? Like I said I never acted this way because I would have been slapped down and I know his BM allows it but at what age do you hold the kid accountable for their actions as he knows it is wrong?