Last names - a stupid BM story

So Thetis' blog got me to thinking about a last name issue we're having.

DH has had custody of the 3 skids for nearly 2 years now. Two of them have his last name and one doesn't. The reason one doesn't is because ... well, she's not his. It was never believed that she was, but DH decided to treat her like his own and has. He IS her daddy. Plus, BM claimed on the CS agreement (DH was working out of town when she had that thrown at him, but he wouldn't have disagreed to paying for the SD that's not his) that he was her biological daughter so ... kind of bit her in the ass when he got custody and she tried to dispute it. heh.

Anyway, in that same CS agreement, it was stated that BM was to have that SD's name changed to DH's. She never did it. We're finalizing the parent/child relationship blah blah and we'll work that in there.

The stupid BM part of this rambling story is - we've been getting the kid's documents - SS cards, birth certificates, all the stuff a parent should have that BM claimed was lost so she wouldn't have to turn it over and on the odd man out SD's birth certficate I saw that BM actually LIED. She lied about what her maiden name was and gave that to SD as her last name. What a winner!

So the kid has a last name that NO ONE in her family shares. She's like an alien out there all alone. She's never even met anyone with this last name. And I know it bugs her brother and sister to no end that she doesn't have the same name as them. grrr!

We'll get SD's name changed on her birth certificate, but I'm saving this one for her to have when she's older. Proof that her mom will lie about literally anything and to anyone.

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People are so strange!

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

Does she know that your DH

Does she know that your DH is not her biological dad yet?
____________________________________________________________________

Rome wasn't built in a day, and my marriage won't be either.

I'm not sure. We haven't

I'm not sure. We haven't told her, but her mom might have said something to her. But SD hasn't said anything.

He's known her since she was 1. He's the only dad she's ever known. The father slot on the birth certificate is blank. We have no idea who the father is and we're not even sure BM is sure who it is.

Oh, and I'm pretty sure oldest SD knows DH isn't younger SD's dad.

I know it's odd. He's

I know it's odd. He's actually not the middle kid's dad. DH met BM and had a one or two night stand, no relationship - then comes along first SD. A couple of years later, he wants his daughter in his life so he convinces BM to move to where he lives. BM has gotten married and divorced and had YSD (by a man other than her husband probably the reason for the divorce) in the meantime. He wants to try to make the family work so he excepts YSD - then only 1-year old, as his own. While trying to make it work, SS is conceived. SS is born - BM has complained that DH doesn't make enough money, so he takes a job that requires him to travel a lot, but pays well. When SS is only about 6 mos. old He comes home one weekend to find BM strung out and having moved in her new druggie boyfriend, so she kicks DH out.

While DH is still recovering from the shock, she slaps him with child support at his then high pay rate and he feels trapped into leaving his kids with a crackwhore BM until I come along quite some time later and convince him otherwise.

That's the whole sordid tale in a nutshell.

That is so weird that she

That is so weird that she lied about the maiden name...she just wanted to live in a fantasy and give her daughter some random made-up name? So bizarre!

Your situation is similar to mine. My DF met his ex while her daughter was only a couple of months old. The bio dad was not in the picture, other than paying $300/month child support. The little girl ended up calling my DF "Daddy" and then two years later when he and his ex were breaking up she found out she was pregnant. So they tried to make it work. It didn't work out (good for me!), but now he still takes his non-bio "daughter" and his bio-son 50% of the time. To make things more complicated, SD4's bio-dad wanted his visitation again around last year, and is now seeing her one weekend a month. She has two "daddies" and a billion grandparents.......Complicated situation to explain to people! Weird thing though when they started a new daycare recently, BM wrote down my DF as being SD4's biological father. At the last day care BM didn't write down my DF AT ALL on any of the paperwork, not even for his bio-son - her moods swing so wide, it's bizarre!

You are so lucky because we would give anything to be able to gain custody of the kids. Although the BM is ridiculous, it will be a long and windy road to gain enough substantial evidence to take her to court.

What a psychopath. What

What a psychopath. What motivates people like this to lie about such a thing? It's disgusting.

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