VENT - MONEY
I have not been here in a long time.
I just need to vent.
My DH decided to allow BM to claim SD on her taxes, even though DH has the right to do so as per court order. BM claimed it wasn't fair because DH and I now have 2 babies together, and she only got to claim SS.
I am so mad! Because:
1. Apparently DH agreed to this LAST year. He claims he told me then, but as far as I know, he threw it out there and I expressed my disapproval but no "Joint Decision" was ever made.
2. He didn't tell me about it ASAP when she brought it up this year either. He simply responded to her that no he hadn't claimed SD on his taxes so that she could go ahead and do so.
3. I am the one who does the damn taxes. ME. I already had it worked out too!
4. This "gift" to BM will amount to almost $10,000 over the remaining years.
5. He has absolutely no remorse about doing this. He is not sorry. I really think that he does NOT care about my feelings one bit on this one.
6. Why would he care more about BM's feelings than mine?
I feel so worthless right now. I just don't get to be a co-decision-maker in my own house. My feelings don't count. And my financial needs certainly don't count either.
I am having a hard time doing the taxes now. I feel so ANGRY. And my poor kids have the bear it. I don't know what to do to get rid of this anger. When I think I've come to terms with it, it just comes back on and I get flooded with all the bad memories of the times he's given in to BM and given away money to soothe her, while my wants go unfulfilled.
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IMO - Be thankful you have 2
IMO - Be thankful you have 2 dependents you can claim on your taxes. You'll still get a nice deduction. If he let her do it this year, then next year you guys should claim her. If you have a court order and she goes ahead and claims SD next year you can fight it. He was probably able to claim her because she gets one and he gets the other but since you have 2 of your own kids now, she probably feels, well you get two, I get two. Take a deep breath & calmly discuss it with your DH. Tell him this year you'll let it slide but next year you go back to claiming SD.
He already told her she can
He already told her she can claim SD from now on.
Plus she's pregnant, so from next year, she'll have 3 she can claim and we'll have 2. DH makes more money than her, She doesn't even have to pay taxes, but since the Child Tax Credit is a credit, she get money back from that plus the EIC.
"Take a deep breath & calmly discuss it with your DH. Tell him this year you'll let it slide but next year you go back to claiming SD." I can't TELL my DH anything, I don't control him. There is nothing to discuss, he already made his decision and is sticking with it until the kids turn 18.
Well therein lies your issue.
Well therein lies your issue. If you can't even state your opinion that is a bigger problem than him letting her claim the child. I'd be more pissed about that than the tax issue.
Do your taxes Married Filing
Do your taxes Married Filing Separately. Claim your children on your own taxes. Let him wave in the breeze. Do NOT cover his part of the tax bill. Have your refund go into a separate account with ONLY your name on it.
If he is allowed to unilaterally make money decisions, so can you! }:)
I like this idea....
I like this idea....
LOL. I like this. It would
LOL. I like this. It would really hit him hard because he made significantly more than me.
But at the end of the day, just like his decision with BM negatively affects me and my kids, this kind of decision will simply negatively affect me and my kids, because we still depend on DH financially. It'll be a double whammy for us, so just not worth it simply to prove that point.
So your choices are: stay and
So your choices are:
stay and be disrespected
OR
leave
If you choose the second option, at least doing the taxes that way will give you some money to bail with.
DH doesn't really care about
DH doesn't really care about BM.
What he CARES about is not incurring her wrath. When she doesn't get what she wants she finds ways to really inflict the wrath.
I guess in the end he's more afraid of HER ANGER, than he is of MY ANGER.
Seems like it's a contest - who can make DH's life more miserable? - ME or BM?
Whoever wins that contest has the most power. Whoever wins that contest gets what they want.
haha omg.....SO TRUE!!!!!!
haha omg.....SO TRUE!!!!!! You put my feelings onto paper, verbatim!
YOU have the power to make
YOU have the power to make his life MOST miserable......unless he is still having sex with BM!
GG is only "allowed" to claim
GG is only "allowed" to claim one out of the three; the oldest who will turn 18 in two years from now AND the CS will STILL continue mandatory till at least age 21 (lovely NYS). And to get mo' money mo' money mo' money, the Behemoth is fostering two more to ruin.
I do the taxes too. I can't wait until he stuck with the whole kit and kaboodle next year as I'm exiting this year. I've had it with all the responsibilities, no authority and none of the benefits. The only "co-decisions" in a house with a guilty daddy is what the BM wants.
IOW everything is unilaterally decided by the Golden Uterus.
That is all that counts in guilty daddy's eyes. Stepmom is just there to financially support the first family.
I'm having a simmalar
I'm having a simmalar problem, bm is claiming one of the skids but she provides 0 support we do it all, she just has to transport the kids to and fro mg house which yes is 2 hours away but we have been the same place for 2 years they chose to move out there not us! I know we have always said money wasn't what we wanted but dang it she shouldn't get a tax deduction for a kid she sees 2 weekends a month! Sorry didn't mean to rant on yours, I would talk to you SO and explain what's going on and that CO says it should be him claiming the child.
This reminds me of when my
This reminds me of when my 2nd hubby all of a sudden (he was a hard core abusive alcoholic) didn't "trust" me to do his taxes (married filing jointly) b/c he thought I was ripping him off. So I filed married filing separately. His income was way lower than mine--chronically unemployed during the boom years of the eighties and early nineties. He got back a tiny refund; much smaller than if we had filed jointly. I guess he showed ME! :sick:
Do your taxes separately, YOU
Do your taxes separately, YOU claim your kids and let your DH fix his own mess...If he didn;t think it was important enough for you to make a JOINT decision together, then he can do his own taxes, if he owes, he can figure it out on his own...take YOUR refund and use it on ANYTHING for you and your bios. End of story.