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BB & crazy text messages

Stepmom_C's picture

Submitted by Stepmom_C on Mon, 06/25/2007 - 2:08pm

I know this seems petty and ridiculous but today I'M FED UP! There have been plenty of posts concerning who buys the gifts for Birthdays, Mother's Day, Father's Day etc... Well...I've been married now for 2 years. In the two years we haven't bought BB anything for Mother's Day or her birthday (mainly because of the hell she's put us through and also because she complained that the last gift card we got was from the wrong store). If SD's want to give her something then they "make" something sweet or give a card with some cute pictures (for most mothers this would be even MORE special since it was made by her children...not enough for her). On her birthday this year she texted my DH and said she was "crying for him because he didn't buy her a present and she didn't like the person he had become." Yes, I have one of those CRAZY BB's. BIPOLAR FREAKIN CRAZY BIATCH.

So...last week was DH's birthday and BB buys him a present from "the kids" (ok, I got past this one). BUT then she and all her psycho drunk friends send him long HAPPY BIRTHDAY text messages all day. WTF? Yes, this is the same BB that DH turned into the cops for forging his name on passports for the kids not so long ago.

Little background: DH and I have primary custody. She sees them EOW and 4 weeks in summer. DH doesn't speak to her AT ALL unless it's a true emergency about the kids. Simply stick to the divorce schedule and that's it. I don't even know why I'm posting this other than I want to understand why someone could continue to try and break us up while hurting her own kids!!! The kids are with us. She never calls them. I also found out that she told him we'd never "play house" because it would be her mission to break up up and F**K with us for the rest of our lives. She cheated on him. She left him. I came in later...I'll never understand.
HOW CAN I NOT LET HER BOTHER ME???

Comments

texaswonder028's picture

Submitted by texaswonder028 on Mon, 06/25/2007 - 3:08pm

Do you and your husband ever communicate through text messages? When BF and I first started living in the household, from time to time he and I would receive random text messages from people who used to be in our lives. Neither of us had control over who was sending us messages or what they put in it for that matter. So we both agreed to have texting shut off our cell phones. It has been a blessing in disguise. By sending a text.... Anyone can read it, or play into it however. This is alot of unecessary conflict in our relationship. I personally put a end to this problem. Now neither of us can get upset about the text messages. If they really need to get a hold of us they know the number, they can call. But chances are they won't. So don't bother telling anyone it is shut off. Let her waste her time sending text messages and if she ask... say I never got them, You are not lying, cause you really never got them. It will be your little secret. Good Luck!
Kim

Stepmom_C's picture

Submitted by Stepmom_C on Mon, 06/25/2007 - 5:36pm

he won't cancel the texts. I don't really use it but he'd rather use the texts to communicate with BB when he has to regarding schedules and such...which I understand. See she used to harass us in a BAD way on voicemail at our house, on cell phones etc... so I guess he thinks this is the lesser of the evils. I'm just sick of her mind games!!!!!

Callie's picture

Submitted by Callie on Mon, 06/25/2007 - 5:45pm

Did you tell your DH that those text messages bothered you? My DH has a crazy ex like that. She calls all of the time and used to do stuff like that to him, and finally he just told her "you and I are not together, we are not friends, please only contact me concerning our child". He told her that she is one minute plotting against him or yelling at him and the next she acts like they have been friends forever and it wasn't healthy. She of course got upset about it, but he just stuck to his guns and finally she gets the point. It got so bad that he told her that if she needed to contact him that he has email that he checks all day long just because when she called she would start to "chit chat" with him so he told her that until she got the point that is how its going to be. Finally she caught on, and now we have no issues. Also, she would get him gifts for his birthday and Father's Day as well, and the "we are not friends" line kind of squashed that. I take care of my SD getting her father gifts.

I don't know your whole situation, but in our situation my DH just had to put his foot down. Of course she wents nuts about it for a while, but eventually it worked out.

Stepmom_C's picture

Submitted by Stepmom_C on Mon, 06/25/2007 - 7:54pm

and he has told her in the past "we are not friends" and "I don't even like talking to you" but she does it anyway. It's a game to her and I know I'm letting her win because it bothers me. The texts and things are never about the kids. I think she leaves voicemails too that he doesn't tell me about because he doesn't want me even more upset. At some point his not telling me crosses a "trust" line with me that is hard to explain. While I know he doesn't want her back by any means, I'm used to complete honesty and this has caused major trust issues with me. No one understands the way I feel (except maybe people on this site) and my family tells me that I'm letting BB consume my thoughts and it should just roll off my back or else I should have never married him. It should roll off my back but it doesn't and I don't know what to do Sad

Callie's picture

Submitted by Callie on Tue, 06/26/2007 - 11:30am

I think that he doesn't tell you about the voicemails so that it doesn't hurt you any more. He probably doesn't even pay attention to them and forgets about them, so he figures not to burden you with them. When my DH first told her not to call anymore, she did the same thing, she continued to call and leave messages, so my DH wrote her an email saying that we will no longer answer his phone to her and will not listen to her voicemails, so if she wishes to talk about their daughter he will only respond to emails and he held his ground. She would call and ask a favor or something and he would ignore her until she finally emailed him about it, then he would nicely respond back to her. She still gets pissed about it and mentions it when she emails him, but she can't control her emotions, so this is how it goes. Also, she is so shady, this way we have proof of anything discussed and/or agreed upon concerning SD. She has a habit of lying in court, or playing stupid (ex: "I thought it was my weekend, oops.")

I know how hard this is for you. I have had times that I thought I wouldn't be able to handle it anymore. The thing is, she is texting him and calling him and buying him things in attempt to get him to pay attention to her. She probably wishes he was still with her. Just remember that you have the satisfaction of knowing that he loves and chooses you. You are the one he sleeps next to every night. I feel sorry for her for making such a fool out of herself, because that is all she is doing.

Stepmom_C's picture

Submitted by Stepmom_C on Tue, 06/26/2007 - 1:05pm

That really does help me. I just sometimes think the same thing...I can't handle it anymore. But then I get home from work and see DH or SD's or my BD smiling at me and realize it's all worth it Smile

I'm going to try and take the "feel sorry for her" approach too.

william's picture

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