BM and fiance talked last night about a few things going on for SD's school this week. I have no idea how or why this got brought up, but BM started spilling her guts to DF about her relationship issues.

She says that her most recent boyfriend (one who never did anything with the kids, would come over to her house late at night and the kids would see his shoes in the morning, or he'd just sit on her couch the whole time according to SD) is an alcoholic and is going for some treatment. BM was with him for 6 months. They recently broke up, we found out via Facebook, but SD also told us that "Mom and bf aren't going together anymore. It just wasn't working out."

Now BM says that she and this boyfriend are going to try to make it work, when he's done with his treatment.

Then later in the conversation, she says that her boyfriend BEFORE that one was the PERFECT boyfriend and that she regrets it every day that she broke up with him for this alcoholic boyfriend. Mind you, THAT boyfriend was the one that was spanking SS3 a few weeks into their relationship, although he was very involved with the kids (played with them a lot and went with BM to kid's events).

Now my fiance is really worried about her and her choices. She didn't flat out say she wanted advice but he said she was hinting around for his opinion. He asked her why she was settling with this alcoholic bf when she already knew that she'd rather be with someone else? She denied the fact that she was settling and said that things would be better after his treatment.

So my fiance told her that he wishes she would look for someone a little bit older and mature, not a college kid (as both her recent ex's are) and that it's time for her to also take into account what kind of a man she wants around the kids, as they certainly will start modeling off of the adult behaviors. He said, "Do you want SD5 to think it's normal for mom to have guys coming in and out of her life so often?" BM said, "No...but it's not that easy to make me happy so I just can't find the right guy!" So DF said, "Well dating someone that just sort of fits the mold doesn't help, either." I guess she was quiet for a little while and then said she had to go. He thought she was starting to cry.

This girl has some major issues...we really feel that a lot of our own issues with BM would be a lot better if she were to be in a happy and healthy relationship! Of course now DF is really worried about what kind of choices she's making, but I just keep reminding him that we have no control over it. I'm at least glad that BM and DF had a civil conversation on the phone for once! That in itself is really an amazing thing...but it seems to only happen when BM is alone. Every time she's with other people she puts on the drama-queen show and has to be the world's biggest brat.