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BM "couldn't" take her kids last night because she had to watch "her" Patriots.

SteppingUp's picture

As I posted yesterday, DF had his uncle's funeral to attend and he made MANY attempts all weekend to get in touch with BM about switching Monday night for Tuesday night with the kids. She never responded to him.

So I just went to daycare to pick them up last night (without DF, who was out of town for the funeral). There was a HUGE part of me that wanted to NOT pick them up and see what would happen, but we both agreed that would probably hurt the kids more than teaching BM a lesson (skids would feel like no one 'wanted' them or something).

DF was f.u.r.i.o.u.s. with BM though. He called her around 6pm and she answered, acting like nothing was wrong. She claims she never got the messages. And that her mom never called her to tell her anything either. BULLSH**

DF tells her that he's at a funeral and that she was lucky that SteppingUp (my angelic self }:) ) stayed in town and picked up the skids so that they wouldn't be left at daycare.

And here's BM's WINNER of a response:
"Well I CAN'T take the kids tonight because I'm having people over to watch MY Patriots play."

According to BM, having a football party trumps a funeral for reasons to not have your kids for a night. Glad she's got her priorities straight. I'm sure the fact that the Patriots stomped the Jets last night made her think that she was even more right in having her little party instead of being a mother.

(OHHH, and let me add that during BM and DF's relationship, she would FLIP OUT if he even TRIED to watch any football. She would give him a 20-item list of things to do on the weekends and he 'wasn't allowed' to watch football until those things were done. She would start a fight every time he wanted to watch any sports at all and refused to attend any sporting events..and now all of a sudden she's hosting football parties, going to hockey games, and she has a team that is "hers"...wow...and she's teaching her son, SS3 that he wants to be Tom Brady when he grows up...)

Comments

steptwins's picture

I don't know what to say here. I'd love to feel that way about a team but instead I put myself/my family in that spot. I'll never change and actually I'd be fine if TV didn't exist period. I'm polar opposite of DH and ex hus. Apparently I'll never marry someone w/same priorities as me...

SteppingUp's picture

It's totally fine to feel one way or another towards a team/thing but don't suddenly change the minute you're not in a relationship! Smile

stepsonhatesme's picture

OMG! It sounds just like the cougar aka BM. She pulls this kind of shit all the time. Even if its just for her to go out of town for lunch with her " boy toy ".
Mind you SS is 17!!!!!!!

overit2's picture

I think I kind of get this...on here we justify not tradign w/bm's to make their lives easier in anyway-regardless of what's going on. If it's his day it's his deal to worry about-she doens't have to trade anything, the uncle is not her problem.

It would be your dh's responsibility to find a sitter-take them with him or ask you...either way...it's more of a what's good for the goose is good for the gander kind of thing.

She doesn't owe him to take the kids on his day-just like your dh's do not have to trade w/the bm to make her life easy if she needs you guys desperately for something. I know my bf could care less what his ex has going on that she suddenly needs him to play nice for a minute.

He can ask her to swap but she doesn't have to-just like you don't have to-or most sm's/dads here don't have to. We would never question the other side here doing this would we?

SteppingUp's picture

I do agree that it is his responsibility as it's his night and I DO see the point there.

The bothersome thing to us is that BM has in the past:
1. Complained if I am watching the skids without DF there
2. Asked us to switch nights so she can get her hair done
3. Had no problems switching with us randomly so that #1 won't happen

Let's add to this that DF's responsibility is to HIS SON only, not to her daughter (who we do continue to take on our weeknights with SS3, but are no way legally obligated).

We just "expect" (maybe foolishly) some compromising behaviors when we've done things for her in the past for inconsequential reasons, that she'd be okay with taking the kids so DF can attend a funeral that is 6 hours away. He would have had to take the skids with him overnight and taken SD out of school to take them with.

overit2's picture

I know-I get it believe me...my ex and I have swapped wknds-so has my bf...it depends on all our moods I guess Smile We don't have to though.

BUT_then again if our exe's were reasonable, unselfish, caring people they probably wouldn't have been exe's to begin with.

That said-it could be true or not that she got the messages-no way of knowing...but here again there's plenty of times I don't check the vmails my ex leaves-my bf didn't do it either in the past-and his parents certainly don't relay all messages from her-she's always wanting to swap something. It's possible...perhaps not probably in yoru case I don't know.

young stepmother of two's picture

BUT_then again if our exe's were reasonable, unselfish, caring people they probably wouldn't have been exe's to begin with.

Right on!