Skid's clothing...completely inappropriate, IMO.
Not trying to blog-hog but I had something else to vent about..
For the past three weeks, the skids have been dressed consistently by BM in flip flops, shorts, and no coats. The warmest it's been here so far this year is 55 and that was on the best day, in the middle of the day. Otherwise the average temperature has been in the 40s still. The day care lady even commented to us to bring the kids the next day with actual "shoes" and maybe a coat. Their freaking shoes and coat are at BM's because we keep sending them to day care with the appropriate clothing and then BM sends them the next day with flip flops again. We only have so many shoes and coats! So DF texts her asking if she can drop off their coats and some shoes, and she texts back, "Not my problem."
EXCUSE ME? NOT YOUR PROBLEM THAT YOUR KIDS ARE FREEZING AND DAYCARE PUTS THEM IN EXTRA SWEATPANTS DURING THE DAY BECAUSE YOU CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHAT IS APPROPRIATE FOR THE CLIMATE?
On a side note, SD4 (yes, FOUR!) was wearing HIGH HEELS one day last week. Inappropriate, much? She had a pair of knee-high "hooker" boots too and we sent them back to BM's house this winter (although we should have just thrown them away). So we let her play outside with the new white heels all evening, and sent her back to day care the next day with the dirty heels in a plastic bag to bring back to mom's...and told her she shouldn't wear those on days she comes to our house because we like to play outside too much.
Good god woman! Learn how to dress your children appropriately! She's FOUR, not a teenager!
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This totally sucks for the
This totally sucks for the kids. You can leave appropriate attire for the children to wear at daycare but must be left there when BM picks them up.
Sorry I feel bad for the kids and you guys.
I hear you SteppingUp -
I hear you SteppingUp - although my skids are tweens - but the one wears athletic shorts all the time, no coat, and these ugly black tennis shoes. He looks like a slob. And the other one doesn't know how to dress but he wears shorts and sweatshirts or shorts and long sleeved shirts. They boith look ridiculous. If they were my kids, they would not be let out of the house looking like that. And I am surprised because their BM is all into appearances but she lets the kids do whatever they want becuase she wants to be the cool mom. *gag*
SS11 BM does the same
SS11 BM does the same although SS is freaking 11 years old. He ought to have enough sense to pack a bag or something. DH came to pick me up at work with SS11 and SS8 in the car. I know that SS8 has extra clothes because his mom is really good about packing stuff for him. It was in the WINTER (November) and we were supposed to be going to my mom's for a little b-day dinner for me and SS8. I almost lost my shit before I even got in the car!!! SS11 is sitting there with basketball shorts (it's not like he just came from a game because he is WAY too lazy to participate in any sports!) and a t-shirt! I got in the car and said...."I supposed that's ALL that you have to wear for the weekend right?!?!?" He was like "Yeah." I say..."Of course what else should I expect?" I had to clamp my mouth shut in order to NOT tell him what a piece of shit I think his mother is! I mean it is NOVEMBER and he didn't even have a coat on. So of course I jump DH too....I mean he saw the kid walk out of the house with NO coat and NO bag with a change of clothes....WTF?!?!?!? DH says that they just moved and she couldn't find any of SS11 clothes??? Are you serious with this shit??? She NEVER sends ANYTHING but the clothes on his back with him....so you believe that.....really??? We have clothes for him at our house but they aren't "cool" enough for him to wear. Every weekend that child comes over I am ready to throttle BM for being a jackass and not sending clothes and DH for not insisting that she do so!!
****I can do bad all by myself****
I hear you about the clothes
I hear you about the clothes not being cool enough to wear!! Although I will buy things from his favorite store where his mom gets him all his clothes and they still aren't good enough! I told him I wasn't buying him any more clothes. But I caved and bought him a couple khaki shorts for summer and guess what? He wore them to school and so now they are at BM's! Of course! So now, all we will have is athletic shorts at our house for him! Great!!
This kid thinks that money
This kid thinks that money grows on trees.....he got that crap from his BM. I REFUSE to buy him "cool" clothes. Old Navy is just fine if you ask me...but because it isn't Hollister or A&F....he won't wear it. I told him that was fine if he wants to where his nasty clothes all weekend. We just don't go anywhere on those weekends! HAHA We bought him an Element shirt....some skater crap when he was into that. That went to BMs house and I haven't seen it since......He will even ask to wear MY pullovers so that he doesn't get his precious A&F hoodie dirty. I tell him...Nope should have thought of that before you came over here. I figure MAYBE one of these days it will sink in and he will PACK HIS OWN BAG!!!
****I can do bad all by myself****
Wow... The crazy BM used to
Wow... The crazy BM used to send tho boy every time in the same clothes. Every single time he, my ss comes to us, he is wearing even the same socks... Than I buy him nice things and FH sends him back in the new clothes-so that she doesn`t acuse him that he is not buying anything for the boy and of course I have to pack the clothes he came with cos she will make hell. And at home he says stepmom bought me this and that and next week she sends him again in same old things. Once he had a spoiled sneakers and I bought him new and next week he sent him again in the spoiled one. Than I bought again new and did not send back the spoiled one. Guess what, she buys him the same type he had before and all the clothes I bought I`ve never seen them again. And if I mention to FH he should tell her to send all the things back, he says I`m childish?! Now when ss comes the first thing is that I shift him and when he goes back I send him in the things he came...
This is something I have
This is something I have struggled with too…please see my old blogs.
I finally made the decision that WE would not buy SSons any more clothes after trying many strategies.
BM doesn’t send them in weather appropriate clothing either and we used to send them back in our clothes - never to be seen again.
Once DH gave SS13 a list of our clothes to look for at BM’s. BM flipped out on DH and told him “her son” wouldn’t be used as a messenger. DH calmly explained that we needed the clothes back because we were going away for the weekend and didn’t have enough of her clothes to tide the boys over. DH also told her that SS13 (12 at the time) was getting old enough to take on some of the responsibility for his clothes. She sent some clothes back then but that was the last straw for me.
I told DH that this was my issue and I will take responsibility for it. The only solution that would work for me was not letting the boys wear our clothes back to BM's house and not buying them new clothes. As DH tried to manage the situation but clothes would still go MIA here and as BM was not respectful of our boundary; after many attempts this was the only way that would work for me. And DH agreed to it.
Now the clothes that we bought that are still here are not allowed to be worn over to BM’s house. Each SSon has a dad drawer and a BM drawer. In fact, this morning they left in the shorts and t-shirts (no coats) they came to us in on Friday. It bothered me because it was cold out but it’s better than me being angry and resentful about our clothes walking out the door to be lost in the black hole AKA BM's house.
~BettyRay
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"PROBLEMS ARE ONLY OPPORTUNITIES IN WORK CLOTHES."
-Henry Kaiser
yep.. bm does same. this
yep.. bm does same. this past winter, i would send a bag with a cute, complete outfit, PJs, toothbrush, and hair stuff - warm, cute, complete outfits - and ss would come home with no jacket, hair not combed, wearing the pajama shirt i sent and the courderoys. or we would see pics on facebook of ss where bm dressed him up as a rapper - boyfriend's gold chain, ball cap, wife beater or no shirt... NOT COOL. i wanted to knock on her door and be like I packed a sweater, turtle neck, belt, and cords. he looks cute in them. they match. they are warm. I packed a comb. I packed his hair creme. what possessed you to parade him around town in a pajama shirt and no coat in 30 degree weather? Why did you not comb his hair? I do ss5's hair every day in the morning - he is mixed and has a poof of curls - it takes me about 45 min to comb and do it in a style. everytime he goes to bm's she immediately takes it out and has told us that she doesnt want people to think he is a little black boy. OMG HE IS!
"if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."
about the hair thing. She
about the hair thing. She never cuts the boys hair, he used to look almost like a girl, then when I cut him he looks so cute. Third time I did it he, almost 4years told the mom stepmom cut my hair. She just sent an sms to FH I should not cut the boys hair again... B*tch
know how you feel. opposite
know how you feel. opposite situation for us.. dh is african american and ss looks like his miniature. bm takes his hair out and puts it in a ponytail. so instead of looking like a cute little boy in nice clothes with his hair done, with the clothes she puts on him.. it looks like she doesnt know what to do with his hair and he looks ghetto and cheap. if she cut his hair i would want to hurt her. lol we have been talking about locking his hair (dreadlocks) so that bm cant take it out lol.. i saw a little boy with locks once and he looked adorable!
"if you don't have anything nice to say, then shut the fuck up."
i gave up on the clothes
i gave up on the clothes thing --- such a losing battle......
and i have learned --- now that i don't care ---- bm doesn't so much either...... i don't even think i buy them clothes anymore --- once in a while maybe, but like you have all said -- the good stuff ends up at bms and the other stuff isn't good enough so it stays in the drawers and is a waste of money......
those with the young ones, buy just enough clothes for your days and send them home in what they came in...... i like crayons thrift store idea ---
I agree with StepChicka.
I agree with StepChicka. Leave some appropriate clothing at the daycare and make sure the daycare knows not to send them home with the children when BM picks them up. BM is obviously not going to make sure they are dressed appropriately, but at least you and the daycare can when they are in your care.