Spoke too soon...I posted yesterday how BM is suddenly a better parent....psht.
We are never scheduled to have the skids on Tuesdays. Around 3pm yesterday BM called FDH and asked if we could take them because she was sick. I promptly checked her Facebook (which she doesn't know we have access to) and of course she had gone out the night before. I told FDH she's probably hungover.
I just looked at it this morning to see if she did anything last night, and she posted at 8pm: "Meetin my chick Taylor at ___ (bar) - gonna do it up summa style!" and she posted a photo from her mobile at 1:30am...
Mind you, this was her 2nd night out this week...went out both Monday and Tuesday! What the hell?
Wow. I was just saying how BM is suddenly putting effort into being a better parent but I totally spoke too soon. Atleast these days I don't get too hopeful, I just sort of wait for the next ball to drop.
I could see BM wanting a night off if she had the kids all the time but she only has them half the time!
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Question-how long have her
Question-how long have her and your H been divorced?
They were never married. They
They were never married. They were together for about 3 years and broke up many times during that, and finally moved out when SS3 was just a few months old.
We have a notebook of printed
We have a notebook of printed facebook pages...ugh it's so annoying!
You can say no, invading
You can say no, invading privacy-not sure if that's admissable in court. And really-what she does in her personal life, even if it's going out twice for drinks with friends is of no bsns of you two UNLESS this "hangover" thing starts affecting you guys and the kids big time.
SHe's single-it's ok for her to go out even on weekdays if she wants to. YOU guys can say no and let her deal w/the hangover and the kiddos, eventually if she knows she doesn't have you guys as an option she may curb down the partying a bit in order to not deal w/the hangover and kids the next day.
Indeed - as long as she is
Indeed - as long as she is following the CO and taking care of the kids, what she does with her evenings really isn't your business OP, even if it isn't what you think she should be doing.
What happens when BM is still
What happens when BM is still doing this when the skids are 12, 14, etc..? Being taken to a hospital to get your stomach pumped is probably something she wouldn't be proud of...right? What about when this all starts affecting the skids because they want to be like her and she thinks she's being hte "cool" mom by being drunk all the time and having boys over at her house?
I don't care if she ruins her own life but we worry about the affect on the skids adn what they will think is/is not appropriate.
Pushing the kids off on the
Pushing the kids off on the father so she can hang out with her chick Taylor and party, would show a judge a disinterest in her children. Especially if it becomes a pattern, of her wanting to kick it up summa style or whatever she said.
It's not invading privacy, FB is a public forum.
Is her page private and you
Is her page private and you are accessing it in a sneaky way I'd think a judge might find that petty and intrusive and really if she goes out to party at night-I'm assuming kids would be getting close to going to bed if she goes out after 8pm? How is that disinterest in the kids?
My bf and I like to go out for date nights-sometimes to dinner, sometimes to bars or a movie, the kids stay w/a sitter, a few times if it's been early the boys have stayed on their own for an hour or so....how is that showing disinterest in the kids? Adults have a right to live their lives even if you dont' agree with HOW she's living it. They have a right to go out w/out their kids and have personal time. Some need/take more then others, sure.
NOW if she's intruding on your schedule and unscheduled requests because of it and it's continous you can decline to help. Really I don't think there's much a judge will do about this-a waste of time, money for the court and judge and you guys.
I totally get what all of you
I totally get what all of you are saying and I know the issues we'd face if we were to try to take her to court over Facebook comments. I was really just venting. I know we can say "no" and we probably would have if FDH had realized she was hungover before he'd said "yes"...
And like I said,I wouldn't blame her wanting a night off but don't lie about it to us to get us to take them -- espeically when you have them only half the time and can use those days to go out if you want! It's ridiculous!
I understand venting...our bm
I understand venting...our bm drops Sd off at her whim to go "work overtime" when it's always going out, gym, shopping, etc.
You both do seem kind of on the controlling,intrusive side when it come to your bm's life though-just from past posts. Perhaps something to consider.
The night she went out-was it a night that the kids were scheduled with you anyway-it was the next day she asked you guys to take over? I was confused on that.
I do see what you are saying
I do see what you are saying and that is one reason why I like these forums. I try not to take things personal, I try to look at it from the outside and I do see that we seem controlling/intrusive. The Facebook thing started because we were using the evidence to prove that she was always getting babysitters or shipping skids off to her parents on her nights with them...FDH was wondering why he is paying this woman child support when she never actually cares for them or spends time with them? Again, if you only have kids half the time, why do you need to go out on nights you have them? It can't wait one night? Sure once in awhile you have an event that happens on a night you have kids and you make accomodations, that is life. She has taken it to extremes in the past. We've caught her in MANY lies because of Facebook, and they all surround lies about who has her kids (there have been times where she won't even tell FDH where they are) or why she needs to get "rid" of them for the night. It's all a lot of little stuff that seems really petty but we are hoping it will all add up and we can get more/full custody of SS.
We see her fb because she is friends with FDH's little sister.
And to answer your confused question...BM went out both Monday and Tuesday night. Our night Monday with skids, and she asked us to take them Tues night (bc of "sick"...which turned out not to be the case).
There's nothing wrong with
There's nothing wrong with the woman going out. She asked the dad to keep them. If it was a problem, he should have said no. Then she could have found a sitter and still gone out. What's the deal with the FB notebook?? LoL