First steps in disengaging from BM! I'm trying to find a balance between being involved in skid's lives...and not being as involved with the interaction with BM.

On Saturday, I thought about reminding DH to have SS call BM and wish her a Merry Christmas, but I didn't. I knew that on Xmas Eve, BM texted him saying "Tell him I said Merry Christmas" so I figured, no I'll let this go. If BM wants to call him she can. And if DH thinks about it, he can. I don't need to sit here forcing interaction. If the situation were reversed we'd be calling him to both talk to him and make sure he knows we love him and are thinking about him. So be it.

Yesterday we were on our way home from DH's parent's house, 2.5 hours away. BM knew full well that we would be home early - before 12, because DH worked at noon. I almost asked DH if he'd called/texted her to remind her and see if she wanted us to drop off or she wanted to pick up...but nope. I didn't. I figured, let them figure it out.

So we get home, and DH is running around trying to get ready for work and I'm just hanging out with SS4 and BS. I figured sometime in the afternoon he'd finally tell me what the plan was. Of course he looks at me just before he leaves for work and says, "So what's the plan with when BM is getting SS4?" I just blankly stared at him and said "How would I know if you've never figured it out?" He started texting her about it. Then lets me know that she's out shopping so she'll be a few hours. Mind you...she hasn't seen her son for a week (minus a 2-minute interaction at daycare on Fri), she knew we'd be back at noon, she didn't get to see him for Christmas...and she makes no effort to try to get him as soon as she can? Whatever.

So anyway, I'm really proud of myself. I have to keep reminding myself I don't need to be involved and control every little detail. The only reason I have tried so hard TO BE involved is because I am the one who gets the brunt of that...like how I had to keep SS4 for 4 hours by myself on Sunday (really not a big deal but a small example). But I've just come to the conclusion that it'll be easier for me to deal with that part than to deal with BM constantly myself. So be it.