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Wouldn't you want to at least talk to your children if you didn't see them for a week?

SteppingUp's picture

Submitted by SteppingUp on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 11:47am

This is round #2 of our new every other week schedule. BM doesn't even call the kids to see how they're doing.

Can you imagine suddenly going an entire week without your children and you don't even call to talk to them?

Comments

SteppingUp's picture

Submitted by SteppingUp on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 12:08pm

I understand what you mean and I think if it were a vacation I totally agree with you that I wouldn't bother in that circumstance.

SD....Ugh, that's another story. Yes, we are taking "SD" Sunday through Thursday nights. Then she goes with her biodad Fri-Mon. So when it's all said and done, BM only sees her daughter 12 nights a month. Yet she's getting child support for her?? We are basically going to ride it out right now for a little bit and hope it works in our favor eventually. I got sick of pushing and pushing FDH to do something about it. We're wanting to get in touch with biodad...if we can get on "his side" we're hoping to work together to get some custody removed or do SOMETHING about this whole situation (BM being a lazy parent).

However, with SD starting 1st grade next week, she is going to BM's friend's house after school instead of daycare where SS3 will be. We informed BM that we will NOT be running around town to pick up SD when we have her, so she's going to have to be hte one to pick her up and drop her at our house if she wants us to keep taking her. I'm thinking that will become a bit of a hassle for BM and hoping she'll realize she should just keep her.

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 11:51am

My DH and BM do this. They never talk to the kids on the others week. I thought it was wierd when I came into this, but now I like it. She did recently get SS a cell phone and has taken to sending a text, but SS doesn't keep his phone on when he is here. His choice, he only uses it to play angry birds.

I wouldn't worry about it...

SteppingUp's picture

Submitted by SteppingUp on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 12:09pm

I can see being more lax about it if it's a teenage child. But these children are 4 and 6!

DaizyDuke's picture

Submitted by DaizyDuke on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 11:57am

I remember one time when SS12 was about 9 or 10, BM and her BF went on a week long trip to Canada. SS stayed with us. I was actually the one to drop SS off when BM got back and when we pulled into their apartment complex, BM and her BF were unloading the car. They both saw me pull in, because the BF came over to my car and gave me back the navigation system that we let them borrow. BM just continued on her way up the stairs.. no wave to SS, no waiting for him to get out of the car for a hug and hello.. nothing! I will NEVER forget that!

EVERY single day that I pick my BS1 up from daycare, I hug him, kiss him, ask him how his day was... that's just after being apart from him for 8 hours.. not a freeking week!

I think the no calling during visitation though is a catch 22... I'd be kind of glad that she wasn't calling, but I know if it was me, I would not be able to go a week without talking to my son. Yikes, does that make me a crazy BM?? Sad

Willow2010's picture

Submitted by Willow2010 on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 12:03pm

I agree. She could be like some of the other BM's who call everyday to tell the skid all the fun stuff they are doing without them and then making the skids upset.

I never really called when my ex used to get my kids. I wonder if I was made out to be the bad guy for not calling...

SteppingUp's picture

Submitted by SteppingUp on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 12:44pm

Haha yes I thought of this too. The thing is, it's not like she doesn't text or call US. So it's not like she's completely invisible to us all week...yet she never ever asks to talk to the kids.

youngmama1b1g's picture

Submitted by youngmama1b1g on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 12:19pm

Ha my thoughts exactly with BM. We dont have alternate week 50/50 because BM said "itd be too long apart", so instead we split each week. I have a feeling shes just lazy and does things when its conveinant for her, as weve gotten SS for longer than a week multiple times. She once dropped off SS on a Tuesday night after picking SS up the night before...So aside from the overnight, we had him from Wednesday to the following Sunday.
And then when BM goes "on vacation" for a week and SS is with us- yea she doesnt take her son with her on vacation. She'll text my H saying how much she misses SS, but doesnt think to call at all. And then, come sunday night- MIL will keep SS into Monday too by BMs insistance. I guess when you miss your child THAT much-the longer away is better? lol

SteppingUp's picture

Submitted by SteppingUp on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 12:43pm

Yup -- our issue exactly. The first time we had skids a week, 2 weeks ago, BM came back into town on Sunday after spending the weekend at the lakes partying. She continued partying Sunday afternoon at a bar a few blocks away from our house rather than calling to see when she could get the skids. FDH SAW her at the bar's patio when he drove by it. She lied and said she wasn't back yet. Long story short...it's like really? Your first week away from your kid and you don't even care to see them?

She did ask to have the skids on Tuesday night and we told her no, that it messes up the visitation/consistency we were going for, but we offered to let her take them on Saturday night (truly we are taking them more than stipulation says). She didn't want that option because Saturday is a party night.

BM, party, and friends will always be #1 for her. Kids only become important if it will make her look good.

CrystalRE's picture

Submitted by CrystalRE on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 1:37pm

I wish our BM wouldn't contact the kids when they are with us. She contacts them constantly about things that aren't even necessary and I think this makes it hard for the kids to settle in with us. We don't contact the kids when they are with her unless absolutely necessary.

Soon-to-be-Step-Mommy's picture

Submitted by Soon-to-be-Step... on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 2:06pm

This does not surprise me, only because my SD's BM NEVER calls her when she is with us. DH calls SD every night to say goodnight when she is with BM. I couldn't imagine being a mother and NOT wanting to talk to my child EVERY day!!

BSgoinon's picture

Submitted by BSgoinon on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 2:10pm

We don't contact the kids on their vacation week with the other parent. If the kids want to call, they do, but I don't want to interupt whatever they have going on.

Funny you mention this though. We had SS for the last week in August. BM didn't call at all (didn't expect her to) but now she has to go out of town for a week for work, and she keeps asking if she can call or "video chat" while she is gone. This is only because SS told her that when DH is out of town for work, and I have him, I let him video chat with his dad. Now she wants to do it. Not that she has the means to do so. Did she think I was going to send one of my iPads with her so she can chat?? I don't think so!!!

bearcub25's picture

Submitted by bearcub25 on Fri, 08/19/2011 - 2:29pm

Yesterday was the first day of school. BM didn't call skids. We are still waiting to see if she is taking them for her weekend.

God damn woman told anyone associated with the courts or the custody case, she would take them every weekend b/c she loves them so much. Borderline much?

I told BF that she is probably still taking her nap with Mr. Xanax.