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Bio Daughter....and her b/f

stepsonhatesme's picture

My BD b/f came and talked to me yesterday. He asked for my daughter's hand in marriage. I told him I would agree, IF they would wait at least another year , if not another 4. As he is leaving for college this fall. They have been together for over a year.
He is a really good guy. He works hard, full scholership to college, keeps his word when he says something. He respects her. (and he fears me...in a good way)
My daughter text me tonight that they set a date.And she ask me if it was ok. He has NOT gotten a ring or anything yet.He is having me go help him find her one.
So, it looks like my BD19 will be getting married next year.
(I might be the one marrying them, as Im an ordained minister)

Comments

Buzybee82's picture

hmmm... don't you think 19 is a little young? even 20? can't they stay engaged through the long distance relationship to see how well they work through it? he sounds like a great guy, don't get me wrong! I'm 29, and so happy i didn't marry the guy i was engaged to when i was 18/19! then the next serious bf i had at 22/23. just saying... not trying to be negative nelley!

stepmisery's picture

A touch of old-fashioned - that's sweet! And they honored your request, that says good things about them.

The usual reaction, even mine, is to say "so young! what about education and getting a career?" esp for her but it wasn't so very long ago that people routinely married at this age. I recently attended a wedding of some 22yo's, it had been planned for a year, no baby, and they are both in college but not graduated yet.

Hopefully they can delay the baby-making until they finish whatever post-secondary education they are getting. Growing up together can bond them together if they each remain committed to being married.

Can only try to imagine how you must be feeling - your baby getting married! Congratulations to you all!

Ghost Rider's picture

The whole thing is awesome. He sounds respectful and this is the way things should start out.

My generation sucked! Most people I knew who got married young got married because she got pregnant. Which I think is wrong. You can't get married over a pregnancy and expect the marriage to last. Every single one of them that I know of is in a divorce.

My friend got married at 19 "because she was pregnant and their excuse back then was "it was the right thing to do"

My cousin got someone pregnant back when he was 19. He never really loved her. He just knew he could get in her pants easier. What did he do? He married her and they were divorced in 5 years.

Two people I know of set up pregnant traps to get married. They are not married as of today.

I do know of three people who married right after high school and are still married today which is 20 years worth all of them came by respect for one another.

He sounds like a keeper. Not very many guys of today would ask the parent for their daughter’s hand.

stepsonhatesme's picture

P.S. ---When he gets a ring, he has also told me he is going to ask DH for her hand!!
My BD doesnt even want kids---well anytime soon. I am hoping that they will wait until he graduates in 2016.

stepsonhatesme's picture

No she is not in college. There is really no rush, they have just been thinking about this for a while.
They have been friends for about 4 years before they started dating.