Is it just me,...Or is this really no concern of DH?
Now let me say, yes I know MMM and Dh were married for years, and they have a history.
Both SS have posted on their FB pages that their uncle died. They also told DH yesterday (Christmas day), when they had to come with us to MIL house. (different rant) Anyway, last night MMM calls to tell Dh that her BIL died, and that she would let him know all the details when she found out. I dont know why he would need them, this XBIL and DH were not close, DH has never spoken of him since we have been together. He has spoken of other XBIL, but not this one. I asked why she had to call, and he said and I quote " She called to tell me b/c she didn't know if the boys had told me" seriously?! its all over their FB!! She knows this b/c she has commented on it as has my DH. So she is fully aware that he knows!!.. DUH
I think she just wants to try and keep him in the "loop" when she wants him to be. Its not his family anymore, he wasnt close to him, so I just dont understand letting him know.
Any thoughts?!
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She's probably not thinking
She's probably not thinking and just needs folks to talk to? It's his business if it's someone the kids are close to though, and if he has to take the kids to the funeral then that's what he'll do. Tell them you are sorry for their loss and put it behind you...seriously! Nothing fires folks up like a death in the family, they can be more unstable than usual and it will all end up your fault somehow. Just make the required noises and keep on keeping on. The memory will fade into the distance before you know it!
My BM used to pull this with
My BM used to pull this with my dad all the time. Being a kid at the time I knew that it was just her way of trying to stay in contact with him. While we were kids my dad accepted these phone calls and expressed his sorry and that was that. Now when we became adults and she tried to pull it he shut her down quickly because it was disrespectful to my SM who just grinned and kept it moving. My mom was just trying to make sure she stayed relevant to my dad and to show that they had history together . . .now that I'm a SM I totally understand all of this now.
I agree! If my kurds were
I agree! If my kurds were close to someone on my x's side, or even if they knew that person who died i would get a call from my ex, and i would call him too if it were vise versa. I think that you are reading way too far into this than is necessary. Someone died... She called... End of Story.
Kids* well..... I mean they
Kids* well..... I mean they did have history together getting a divorce doesn't erase that. In a SM and I know that. as long as bbm is not being out right disrespectful, there's no need to get all insecure because my husband was married before and I don't want to be reminded of that. instead, chalk up the fact that your husband had it connections to her family at some point and she's trying to keep him in the loop for whatever reason but as long as you want be disrespected which is different from you be insecure then don't overreact... Or try not to although I know it's hard sometimes to not read into things
My SS are 22 &20 (almost)
My SS are 22 &20 (almost) .they are adults. If they were younger I would understand.
DH explained to me that him and XBIL were not close.
MMM texted DH today to let him know that she knew the boys told him but that SHE wanted to "make sure" he knew. REALLY?!
that irratates me.
She has also said in the past " that my family is my family and it is not yours. You stay in yours and I will stay in mine" But then in walks "double standard."
There was no reason for the
There was no reason for the phone call. The boys are adults now plus she stated that she already knew that the boys told your DH. This is just a way for her to still feel conected to your DH and this would irratate me as well. Why hasn't your DH blocked her with his phone? There's no need for her to have that information anymore. They are not married and the kids are grown.
He has said the only reason
He has said the only reason he doesn't block her is for the simple reason, if one of the boys is seriously hurt, as in life or death, they can still reach one another. I'm ok with that reason. As I would hope and pray she would call under those circumstances. As we would call her to.
All I know is that when teh
All I know is that when teh skids turn 18 BM's phone number is being blocked from both of our phones and we are moving to another state. If there's an emergency with one of the kids she can call from another phone. DH is no longer obligated to answer her phone calls and after all of the crap she has pulled I for one am looking forward to when this day happens.
MMM has called(1 time) and
MMM has called(1 time) and text(5 times) Dh tonight. regarding the arrangements. Now I really dont know what takes so many calls and texts. But whatever.
He has decided that he is not going to go,as he stated to me, that he was not close to XBIL, he hasnt seen him in over 10 yrs. the boys are adults. He will send flowers, and a sympathy card.
He remembers last year when his sister passed and MMM showed up and caused drama and he doesnt want to cause drama by bringing me.
(he doesnt feel its right to go without me)
He made all these choices on his own. Im proud of him. I will help him pick out some beautiful flowers thou, and a nice card