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Glad to be a woman

Storm76's picture

Submitted by Storm76 on Fri, 10/02/2009 - 3:17am

I was out with some friends last night & we were discussing how there's a big bunch of pregnancies in our circle at the moment, and me & a friend who've never had our own kids were chatting about the society pressure that every woman 'should' be maternal.

Anyway, it got me thinking that as women we have far more control over whether we give birth or not - most people have their fair share of relationship history, but in my case I've always been able to control what happens if there's been a mishap - morning after pill, and should I get caught I have the option of whether to have a termination or not.

OH didn't get that choice - he had already broken up with BM when he got the call saying she was pregnant & she was going to keep the baby. She did give him the option of walking away, but he's a decent man, so tried to make a go of things for the sake of the child. I'm not saying that any man should have a say in what a woman does with her own body in those circumstances, but I wondered if when we're talking to kids about sex & relationships the focus is wrong.

I remember sex ed at school, we were divided into boys & girls for much of it (I think to avoid embarrassment) and us girls got the 'your life will be ruined if you get pregnant' thing, but also told about contraception, the morning after pill & abortions. The guys however, I think it was more focussed on STDs more than pregnancy, because there was the feeling that an unplanned pregnancy wouldn't affect them in the same way.

Anyway, it's made me determined that when the time comes to discuss these things with SS10 (and any other kids we may have in the future) I'm going to push far more with boys the importance of using contraception yourself, not assuming the woman has taken care of it, because that is the only choice they'll ever have.

Comments

stepoff's picture

Submitted by stepoff on Fri, 10/02/2009 - 9:13am

That's a really good point Storm. having a son of my own, I've thought about 'the talk' and what I would say to him regarding protection and the ramifications of not protecting himself. I'm definitely going to include your point above in our little discussion.

Thanks!!

overit4tenyrs's picture

Submitted by overit4tenyrs on Fri, 10/02/2009 - 9:37am

We have two girls and one boy. I always say with the boys you only have to worry about ONE penis and he is sure gonna know how to use it and wrap it up, but with our girls we have to worry about ALL the penises..LOL

southernbelle's picture

Submitted by southernbelle on Fri, 10/02/2009 - 9:46am

Point I have made over and over to BS stb 14 (whether he listens or not) is that you CAN'T trust what the girl says she's doing. Even if she's honestly on the pill, does not mean she's taking it properly, and even that does not mean she can't get pregnant! Cause BS is a result of an on the pill pregnancy. It is just so hard to listen when you are all in love, and harmonal.
Another point-if a girl says no or stop, no matter what you've done before, or how far things have gone, you better do what she says. Because between the heat of passion, stupidity, and teenage craziness, I don't want you screwing up BOTH your lives.

Squillion's picture

Submitted by Squillion on Fri, 10/02/2009 - 9:50am

Both sexes should be taught that if you have sex you always run the risk of a baby and/or a disease. Always. Regardless of protection. Condoms reduce the risk, but accidents happen. So have sex when you're ready to deal with both of those things.