When does the whining & crying stop?
We had SS10 this weekend, and whilst there were no major dramas, I'm getting increasingly frustrated with the whining & crying.
Exhibit A - Friday evening we'd taken SS10 into our local to play darts & after a bad throw he says "Fuck!". He's not allowed to use this language, and as his dad is in the loo I tell him off (friends of ours that are there were being really good about watching their language around him). He denies saying it, even though 2 other adults heard him and back me up, and starts crying, whilst still denying it. I would like to point out that that all I said was "SS10, you know you're not allowed to use that word" in a warning type voice, not a huge overblown punishment!
Exhibit B - He's playing with a transformer & manages to snap a small piece off - starts crying.
Exhibit C - we pop out to get some fresh fruit & veg for the week, and he needs the loo (fine) so literally whines "daaaaaddy, I neeed to peeeee"
Exhibit D - numerous times, whenever he wants anything - "daaaaddy I want ..." (I know, wouldn't stand up in court!)
The whining & crying and constant 'Daaaddy'-ing and putting on a baby voice is driving me round the bend! He's ten years old, he'll be starting senior school in the not too distant future - when will it stop???
So, my lovely ladies & gentlemen - at what age is baby voice, whining, crying at the drop of a hat & 'Daaaaaddy' no longer acceptable? Then the harder one - how do we get him out of doing it (short of completely ignoring him when he does it, which could be kinda harsh!)
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The baby voice, whining, (in
The baby voice, whining, (in my case) pouting/stomping around/cussing and "Daaaaadddd" - if there is a solution, I'd pay to get my hands on it - my SS is 16 and does that crap.
Oh dear, that's what I was
Oh dear, that's what I was afraid of - he should be growing out of it by now & if he's not then it might get stuck for life!
"God never gives us more than we can cope with, I just wish he didn't have such faith in me!"
It won't end as long as
It won't end as long as people keep listening to it. I mean, it can go on for the rest of his life (read about some of the BMs on here). Ignore him when he cries and ignore him when he whines. Just simply pretend you don't hear him OR send him to his room / a corner, whatever. If he wants to act like a baby, treat him like one. Creature (almost 6) whines all the time with her mother, but in our home, she never whines because we simply say "go to your room until you can use a normal voice" and when she cries, same thing "if you're going to cry, it is okay, but please go do it in your room because we don't want to hear it". If people are responding or making an effort to get him to stop, he is eating up the attention. IGNORING HIM takes away any and all incentive to do it.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
The idea that this is a
The idea that this is a Phase that children grow out of is a MYTH. Children are taught acceptable and unacceptable by our reactions (DHs reactions). They don't "grow out of" behavior that is benefiting them in some way. Two year olds don't grow out of tantrums, they're taught that they're unacceptable (otherwise there wouldn't be a whole bunch of bms and dhs on here who are still throwing them). The only way to get children to "grow out of" bad behavior is to make the consequences affect them and not YOU. Personally, the minute he started his crap crying out in public, his ass would have been put in the car and taken home to his room for the night.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
Uh, oh, this is going to be
Uh, oh, this is going to be another one of those talks with OH then... so how do I raise it with him without it sounding like a criticism of his parenting?
"God never gives us more than we can cope with, I just wish he didn't have such faith in me!"
I'm not really sure how to
I'm not really sure how to approach it in your case. I was able to compare the behavior to Wingnut's and say "do you want her to still be throwing tantrums and whining when she is 40?" I will say don't make it about it being annoying or how it affects you. Make it about how it is and will affect his interactions with other kids / adults. It is a behavior that needs to be "unlearned" for his own benefit. I find when I have to address my severe dislike for little Creature that I need to make it about her future and not about the fact that she is annoying the crap out of me.
"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!
You can't! Or if you can,
You can't! Or if you can, PLEASE tell me how!
I get so sick of hearing the baby-talk between my SS10.5 and FH (and even between SS and BM when I pick him up from there). He is, on the one hand, treated like a mini-adult, demands to be a part of adult things...but then has no responsibilities, this baby-talking stuff goes on all the time, FH has to get in bed with him at night to read, etc.
Oh, and I forgot to mention that SS is going through puberty, has B.O., is filthy most of the time, leaves the toilet seat up...and still the baby-talking.
I think a lot of FH's parenting does suck! But how can I communicate with him about it without making him feel this way, but rather that there might be other ways? I don't know. PLEASE share it with me if you figure it out.
Oh boy, we have the same
Oh boy, we have the same issues here. Even my DD11 thinks SS10 acts like a baby, always crying about the slightest disappointment. Whenever he starts up, we tell him to stop and that we're not going to deal with him until he can be calm. We encourage him to verbalize but he still cries for everything. And when he whines, we put our foot down and tell him that we're not going to listen unless he speaks to us in a normal manner. Period.