It feels like forever has passed since I last addressed our situation here, but when I checked my blogs I realized it's only been a month. LOL!

We had court December 1st to drop SS from the child support order. BM's mother called DH 3 days before court & they talked about getting new phone cards for the kids. At that point, the house phone, both of the kids' cell phones & BM's cell phone had been cut off. DH was to get paid the day after court & he told her that he would get SS a phone card so that they could contact someone if they needed to.

She continued talking to him about how they've been trying to spend time with the kids & give them jobs to do around their place to earn money...you know, teach them some work ethic. She's been trying to spend one-on-one time with SD so that they can have a better relationship, but said that SD won't leave BM's side. She did say that she's working on it, though, & is hoping to get SD to the point where ex-MIL can facilitate the relationship between SD & DH & help create situations for them to interact & have some time together.

She said she feels very strongly that if SD doesn't have a relationship with DH, she will end up struggling with men & relationships the same way BM does. She told DH that she has been on the outs with BM for several months now because BM is refusing to allow the relationship to form. She told ex-MIL flat-out that she does not want SD to have a relationship with DH.

So, December 1st comes & we show up at the courthouse. In our courthouse, when you walk into the waiting area, you step through a metal detector & there is a waiting room to the right & one to the left of that area. We stepped through & BM, both kids, & BM's mother were in the room to the left. Typically, everyone goes in one room. Not this time. DH & I were directed to the other room. Neither of the kids came to speak to DH & he was not allowed to go speak to them. I can only assume that BM requested it be this way for their "safety".

As soon as we sat down, I heard BM shushing the kids & snickering. They were serving DH with a Show Cause to put him $2000 in arrears.

As I posted in my earlier blogs, SS turned 18 in July. he was supposed to start back for his last year of HS Aug 17th. BM made up some shit about ordering some tests before they could start back, & 1 month into the school year the kids still were not enrolled. DH called his lawyer about CS. His papers said he has to go before a judge to have the order changed. His lawyer said that VA state law requires that you pay until your child is 18 & no longer in school. DH had paid 2 months past SS's birthday with the understanding he was going back to school in August, & he paid a month beyond the start of the school year. His lawyer told him to go ahead a cut the support in half & file for a court date, so that's what he did.

DH has been laid off 3 times since April. The original order had his support coming out through his payroll. When he was laid off the first time, we paid BM by money order. When DH's payday went from weekly to every-other-week, he was sending them every-other-week when he got paid.

The $2000 is what BM is saying DH owes her from the time he cut the 1/2 for SS.

So, they get into the courtroom & SS is cut from the support. BM is not working, so she is responsible for the minimum support. DH had pay stubs to show he was averaging about 42 hours every 2 weeks, but because he is listed as a full-time employee, the judge made the order with him pulling 40 hours a week. BM wants her money every week & she wants it to come through his payroll, so the judge ordered it.

THIS is what makes me believe that the judge doesn't give anything DH says the time of day. The judge ordered CS to be paid weekly, but to come through payroll. DH had just told the judge payroll is EVERY-OTHER-WEEK. The judge's order doesn't make sense. She just gave BM what she wanted. DH also told the judge that as soon as his employer got the paperwork for the payroll order he'd lose his job. That was one of the first things this guy asked before he hired DH. He's dealt with ex-wives calling & bitching about not getting her money when she wanted it...just like BM did with his last employer. This guy doesn't want to deal with it. The judge didn't want to hear it, & it was ordered.

As for the arrears, when asked, DH tried to explain that he stopped paying by the advice of his lawyer because SS was 18 & a month into school was not enrolled. The judge simply told him they weren't there to discuss that. She asked if he wanted to go ahead & deal with the arrears that day & he told her no. He needed a new date. They took copies of all his money order stubs & he has to go back January 19th to address it.

The judge did tell BM that next time she is not to bring a crowd...that SD should be in school. Hmmm...but DH can't address that? Whatever.

When it was over, BM came out to the waiting area to collect her crew. The only one of the group who made any acknowledgement of my presence was SS. He was the last to walk out & leaned back to look through the window & waved.

I got up to meet up with DH & the bailiff stopped me. I was not allowed to leave the waiting area until BM & the crew left the building. So, I sat, for almost 10 minutes waiting. The bailiff stood in the hallway waiting for DH to be released from the room he was being detained in until BM & the crew left the building. When he stepped into the hallway, the bailiff told him not to come up the hall, that he would send me that way.

I can understand exercising caution & avoiding ugly situations, but we had never been treated this way there before. I believe, from past experiences, that BM convinced these people that DH is a dangerous man & given his size (he's 6'4" & broad through the chest) people believe it. It made me mad, & when he told me what went down with the judge, it made me furious.

This bitch...I can't BELIEVE she gets away with the shit she does, & still has it in her to walk around with her head held high, like she's fucking golden.

Okay...so court is over. It is what it is. We go back again next month, likely to receive yet another lashing & an order to shove more money in her pocket. Fuck it.

I've been keeping an eye on FB. We've learned that my now ADULT SS's 16-year old girlfriend is shacking up with him in BM's house. Like, that's her home now, since October. A few days after SS & his gf went to their Homecoming dance, SS called DH & told him they had sex the night after. Of course, DH went through all the birth-control, safe-sex, protect yourself, DO-NOT-get-this-girl-knocked-up, etc speeches. 11 days later, the gf is posting on FB about being so confused, but so excited. So happy but so scared...big life changes blah, blah, blah. I chalked it up to stupid drama. A few days later she's posting about names. I prayed she was getting a puppy or a fish or something. It has recently been confirmed that she is pregnant.

I don't believe it's SS's baby. Since October, SD has posted nothing about becoming an aunt. SS has posted nothing about becoming a daddy, & gf posts that she's thankful for a "supportive man". If it were his child, he'd be expected to be supportive. I don't think she'd phrase it that way. She'd be calling him her "baby-daddy" or something.

Not to mention, it started 11 days after they had sex the first time. Now, I'm not too stupid to realize that it's a possibility. I just don't believe it's likely.

Given the confirmation, I did tell DH about it. He asked SS about it (but didn't tell him I saw it on her FB). He denied getting anyone pregnant, but didn't deny her being pregnant. DH didn't ask that directly, but SS did deny specifically that he hasn't gotten anyone pregnant.

BM has criminal court January 5th for larceny. All I want for Christmas is a fucking mugshot. }:)

She has no idea we know, & I would love to show up at the courthouse when DH has to go back wearing a t-shirt with her mug on it. It wouldn't keep the judge from putting DH in arrears, but somehow, I believe with my whole heart that the expression on her face when she saw that shirt would be enough to soothe the sting of being ordered to hand her more money.

Edited to add: We got a copy of the new temporary order the Monday following court. I imagine his employer received the paperwork for the payroll deduction that day or the following day, & Wednesday, DH was the only employee to be laid off indefinitely. So, as a result of the judge refusing to hear DH, he's out of work...again. BM will receive her CS when he receives his unemployment (hopefully weekly) but it will still be coming through the mail, from DH, in the way of money order. Mission accomplished? Justice served? Only if the idea was to put DH out of work.