We've had more interaction with steps in the last week-&-a-half than we normally have in 6 months.

Wednesday before last we came home from work to a message on the house phone from BM's stepdad. In my nearly 12 years with DH, I have spoken to this man (Hi, how are you?) a handful of times at birthday parties or something like that.

He prefaced the conversation with, "I'm sorry to be calling you but BM & her mom & SS all refused. They said DH won't help". His reason for calling was to ask if we would be willing to give them gas money if they would agree to take SS to his dentist appointments to get his teeth to where he can get braces. This has been in process for over a year now. Apparently BM keeps making his appointments but can't seem to pull her ass out of bed to get him there. They run late, or forget the appointment, or she doesn't have gas to get him there...whatever.

Absolutely! SS needs 2 root canals & a cavity filled before he can get his braces on. He'll be 19 next month. It NEEDS to happen.

This man went on & on about how lazy BM is & how nasty her house is, how she's too sorry to work & is the reason her kids are entitled & have no ambition to do anything with their lives. Anyway, we agreed that when BM's mom brought SS out for his appointment the next day she would come by my workplace & pick up some gas money. I made a point to let him know that anything they were willing to do to help the kids get what they NEEDED to have, we would be happy to do what we can to make it easier on them.

So, BM's mom brought SS by just before it was time for me to leave work the next day. DH was already here to pick me up so SS went out to the parking lot to talk to him. Bm's mom & myself stayed inside & she was telling me about SS's graduation...time & place, when pics would be done, etc. She brought a pamphlet with class rings & explained that SS wanted one but having purchased his cap & gown & outfit to wear for graduation they didn't have money to get him a ring too. She didn't request we buy a ring, but offered the information in case we were interested.

She informed me that SS had recently gotten into a thing with having visions/dreams. He'd dreamt that BM & her bf died in a car wreck, so he was on the phone with BM all day to make sure they were okay & he's been very preoccupied with doing chores & favors for BM that he would never do before.

Dh explained to him that it's understandable to feel a little shook up after a dream like that, but that it's not okay to live life in fear of what "could" happen. You can't stop living because you're afraid of what might happen. I guess that whole thing lasted about a week or so.

Onto graduation (this past Thursday)...

I sent a text to SIL & both of her kids to invite them to the graduation. They never attend anything for DH's kids because SIL doesn't like BM. Well, none of us do but this isn't about BM. It's about being there to support SS. Anyway, I didn't expect a reply from any of them. However, I got replies from all 3. They confirmed that they would all come together & meet us there at 6:30pm. The ceremony was to start at 7pm. We got there at 5pm to put in our order for SS's grad picture. As soon as we got our seats (with 1 1/2 hours to spare) I texted SIL to let her know where our seats were. She texted back that her son had to work & her daughter got held up at work so she didn't know if they'd make it. She also said she had a card & money she'd send if we give her the address.

So, 1 1/2 hours before, she's saying they "may" not be able to make it & at the same time is pretty much confirming they were not coming (by her request for the address to mail his card). DH & I were both ill with it. We've always supported her & her kids in their accomplishments. We've always recognized their birthdays, etc. SS was REALLY looking forward to them being there for him & they flaked...as we should've expected.

DH's mom & stepdad usually go to things like this, but MIL's legs hurt her so bad. She walks with a cane & with things moving from building to building the way they were scheduled, she just wasn't able to be there for this. So, it was DH & I & BM's whole extended family.

As it turned out, BM's family filled the row directly in front of DH & I. I felt a little panicky as BM sat directly in front of me. Those auditorium seats are so close together anyway. I've never had a panic attack, but I have to believe that what I felt coming on certainly would've led to one. I've spent time around BM, but have never felt so smothered.

SD sat next to BM in front of DH. BM said something to SD like,"Well, I wanted to take you & SS out to eat after this to celebrate, but I don't guess your dad could bring himself to deliver my child support while he was here". Never a word about it to DH. Just the snide remark about DH to SD. DH didn't hear it...thank God!

Her mom kept turning around to chit chat with DH & I & to show us pictures she had on her phone of different people we don't know. I know she was trying to include us, but I told DH I really just needed to put some space between myself & BM. She was breathing up all my good air. So, we went to find a bathroom & when we came back we moved a couple of rows back. From then I was fine.

After the ceremony the guests were asked to meet the grads in the back of the building. Since DH & I were farther back from the stage, we got to him first. It's a good thing we did. It was all I could do to get 5 pictures of SS & DH with SS before BM came bounding through & corraled him & guided him to where she wanted him to be. It was then I seemed to have disappeared. In all of the poses of SS with each set of family members, BM's mom did manage to get one of me & DH with SS. In all of the pics that have posted on FB, everyone in attendance is present except me. Frankly, I was a little surprised her urine stains didn't show in the pictures. For all of the hovering & ownership she was showing, I was certain she'd have pissed on him at some point.

I'm okay with it. She also took one of DH, SS, SD, & BM (in that order). I noticed that BM was bitter & ugly until she looked over & saw that she was in a shot with DH. Then she was all smiles. Whatever.

From there we went to some kind of law cafeteria on campus for a reception. It was crowded but BM's mom "saved" DH & I seats at a table with the kids...& BM. BM had the kids on either side of her & then they sat me on SS's other side. For the life of me, I cannot understand why they put me there & not DH. I asked DH about it & he laughingly said, "They probably wanted pictures of SS with both of his mommies". I halfway laughed. Then he said, "You know, his old mommy who left him & his new mommy who loves him enough to put up with old mommy's shit". That made me laugh all the way.

When we were done eating DH was taking his plate to the trash. He asked if I was finished & could he take my plate. Then he asked if I wanted another drink. BM spoke up with, "Wow, girl...you got him trained don't you?" I didn't have a chance to reply before DH came back with, "BM, you should know well enough by now...I'm untrainable. I do what I want when I want. You can bet your ass on that." No one said a word about it. It was like no one else heard it. Conversation went on with the rest of the table, DH got up & went to toss the trash & when he came back BM was gone. She didn't come back. We didn't see her again until we went out to leave. She was just sitting in her car.

Suddenly, all of the ill feelings left me. She was trying so hard, all night, to own SS & even with her barrage of family there with her, ultimately the two of us were enough to force her out.

The cherry on top...?

BM's mom posted on BM's FB wall that I had already posted our pics & she was able to "share" them on her page, & would she please take some time to post her pics so that she could "share" them too. YEP! Could she please keep up with me??? LOL!