SS has accepted my FB friend request, however...
I sent SS & SD friend requests on FB last April. SD messaged me about why she denied my request, & I have to say, I wasn't surprised. However, SS never did accept or deny. I've noticed in the last year that he has created more profiles, & in looking at SD's page (through my "secret" page) I saw that SS created a 4th profile on Saturday. He accepted my friend request on Saturday as well, however on his very first profile that he has told DH he never uses.
I'm trying to figure out why now...? Of course, the only answers I'll come to without asking him will be speculation. He called DH several times before Christmas but then bailed out on Christmas plans he'd been wanting to make with DH & we haven't heard from him since. I'm not sure whether he accepted for the sake of having access to my pics & information, or whether it's safe to take it as him taking a step in accepting me again. He didn't reply to any of the messages I/we have sent over the last year. He didn't leave any comments of any kind.
BM is not his friend on this page, so maybe he felt okay having me there where she couldn't see me.
It surprised me & I'm trying not to be hopeful that it's progress. My profile is quite private, even for what my friends can see. My friends list is hidden & I don't have my family members listed as family. When I saw him on my list this morning, I untagged all of my pics of my family (neices, nephews, etc) so that should he get curious he wouldn't be able to get names/links to their pages. Of course, he can get to their pages through the links on the comments they've posted, but my neices & nephews that would be around his age don't really post on my page anyway.
I kind of wanted to hide our wedding pics from him just so BM wouldn't have access to them. She's seen them once before, but I feel weird about her having free access to them. I'm not sure why that's weird for me. I've had her wedding pics for goin on 10 years. LOL! I think because it's something I know she is curious about & I have the power to keep it from her. Part of me thinks SS will keep it to himself. I don't think he'll want her to know that we have contact that way.
I don't guess I'm really looking for advice. I think I'm just trying to clarify my thoughts. Any other thoughts are welcome, though.
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I really am hoping that his
I really am hoping that his intentions are good. From the things he's told DH I really feel like he's trying to make ammends. Of course, things are very damaged, & the healing will take years, but I really feel like he's wanting it. He is still limited to how far he can reach, though, still being under the thumb of BM. She sees the phone bills & knows when he calls, as our number is long distance. When he's called it's been while BM is out of the house or in bed. I debated whether or not to comment on his page or message him. I didn't want to seem too eager, but I did want to let him know that I was glad to have him there. I commented with " Hey SS! Hope you guys are doing well. Happy new year to you. I hope it brings you all of the joy & happiness you hope for & deserve. :)"
SD is 14. She is stuck to BM like glue & while I know her bitter & "hurt" attitude is encouraged & nourished by BM, I really feel like she wants peace with DH. She knows he took care of her when BM left them, & she truly was a "daddy's girl". While she may not end up lashing out at BM as I feel SS will end up doing once he's free of her, I do have hope that she'll find her aceptance & respect toward DH again.