Update to BM's "stroke"
I hate to say it, but even if I don't, it's in my heart. It's only because of my fear of karma that I don't literally pray to God a stroke takes her from here. I won't be sad if it ends up killing her.
My MIL had a stroke about 8 years ago. They kept her for 6 days. My mom has had several "mini" strokes. Even with those they admitted her & kept her for a few, to determine what functions had been affected.
BM went in late Thursday morning & was home by 6:30pm when SS woke up. When he called to tell DH, she was upstairs in the kitchen with SD & SD's friend planning SS's birthday party. She wants to claim to be so tired & exhausted, but when DH asked why they didn't keep her she said she had to be home for SS's birthday party Saturday. Really??? I can't say for a fact, but I would bet that with a real stroke victim, their health would trump a birthday party for an 18-year old man. They would likely forgo the party, & SS would spent his birthday hanging out with his friends. Even with that, she still could've stayed & rested Thursday night & come home Friday...in plenty of time for the party.
DH told her Friday that he wasn't going to be able to meet her with the CS. She flipped on him because she was counting on that money to buy the birthday cake, etc. He explained we had a dog at the vet (we did get to pick up that evening) & we needed to get her home & help her get as comfortable as we could. He did tell her he was waiting on his unemployment check to hit the bank, & that was why he couldn't get it to her that evening.
He called Saturday morning when we got into town, & told her he had the money & if she wanted to meet him in town, he'd get it to her. He left messages on the house phone, her cell, & SS's cell. No one ever called back.
That's cool. I'll get it in the mail when I get a chance. She's gotten used to hollering for it on a whim. What she's throwing a fit over is the money he earned last week, & she's acting like he's a deadbeat for not delivering it on Friday. Fuck her.
My thought is, she took the kids to the beach for a week less than a month ago. She took them to the fair a week ago, & now she's crying over a CS check because that's what she was planning on spending on the cake, etc for a birthday party...for an adult. No doubt she'll be on the horn again tomorrow or the day after wanting to know where the money is, & then Friday she'll be trying to make plans to meet DH with this weeks money.
The woman was in tears over a fucking birthday cake! If money is that tight, maybe she needs to prioritize things a bit.
SS is pissed at DH because he made BM cry. SS called DH Friday night with some kind of attitude & said it took him 45 minutes to calm BM down & get her into bed. WTF??? Why is an 18-year old kid responsible for soothing his mother & putting her to bed???
As for our dog, we did get to bring her home Friday evening. The vet had done an ultrasound to check her bladder/bowels, & said everything looked to be intact. She told us if we made sure to watch her we could bring her home, but if she hadn't gone by the next morning we'd have to bring her back.
She's pitiful. She struggles to use her hind leg, & her little foot keeps turing over (top-side toward the ground) & dragging as she walks. I want to pick her up & carry her, but the vet said she needs to work her leg in order for things to heal right. This morning was the first morning she's gotten right up to go outside. She did her business & followed me to the kitchen to get her treat. After her treat she went right to the food bowl & ate. It looks like things will get better for her from here. I just hate having to watch her struggle.
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You are right on, in that the
You are right on, in that the relationship between SS & BM is very much like emotional incest. It honestly makes me ill. Naturally, it is just as SS is teetering between moving in with us & staying with her that the traumatic turn in health strikes again. She seems to be staying with her pattern. The cancer struck when she decided she wanted to be a mother & the only way to garner the affection of her children was to be at death's door. Here she stands as her son is trying to grow his wings & get his feet underneath him to make a path for himself & we find her at death's door again. Now, obviously, a stroke isn't necessarily a death threat. However, she will make it one. After all, today could be the day it takes her life. No kidding...as any day could be the day something takes any of our lives.
Yes, no doubt DH is the villain for not delivering CS on a whim. It's all his fault she had to find another way to fund the birthday cake. Damn him for that! She's a fucking joke.
As of Thursday, there were only 2 adults living in the house, as she she tossed the poor 'ole live-in tire guy out...again. I suppose with the beach trip being over, she didn't feel the rest of his bill-paying was worth keeping him around. SS said they (BM & tire guy) fought all night the night before & the stress of that & throwing him out was what brought on the "stroke". However, as of Saturday, there are, again, 3 adults living in the house (SS included). This time, all 3 non-working.
BM has told DH she was working FT. SS has told DH she was working PT. BM also told DH, about 3 months ago, that she is 6 months from having her degree in Physical Therapy. It'd be great if it were true, but like everything else that comes out of her nasty mouth, it isn't.
SS keeps trying to fix things between DH & BM. He gets upset with them for the way they treat each other, but has yet to take a look at himself & own his share of the blame for things being what they are. He wants to put everyone in their place for making his life hard, but isn't open to looking at himself. I think counseling is the only hope for him reaching that point. He also isn't above picking & choosing between DH & BM based on who will give him what he wants. He wanted DH to buy him a bottle of liquor for his birthday. If DH had agreed, SS would've chosen DH over BM. But, because DH wouldn't agree to that, BM's party won him over. That's fine. He's 18. He's at a point in life where he needs to be selfish & make choices that suit the path he wants to make for himself. However, he's being selfish in choices that will end up destroying the path he NEEDS for a happy worthwhile future.
I have a good friend who does billing for Medicaid for one of our local hospitals. It's the one BM has taken the kids to, & the one that has BM listed as a "pill seeker". I have her on watch for anything that comes through on any of them, & she hasn't seen anything yet. If she's changed hospitals, my friend may not have access to it. But, as history tends to repeat itself, I'm willing to bet that she isn't seeing anything simply because there isn't anything to be seen.
As for the cancer, I'm sure it will return just as soon as the stroke wears off...
No kidding! Bm is ready to
No kidding! Bm is ready to bust out WW3 over a freaking birthday cake & given no thought to how she's gonna put gas in her car to get the kids to the dentist next week.
Nothing like teaching your kids to live a millionaire's life on a pauper's penny...
Yeah, box of cake mix, 1.50
Yeah, box of cake mix, 1.50 (unless you can find it on sale then its usually .75c) can of frosting, 1.50 (again, unless its on sale) she could have MADE the damn cake.
The ONLY thing BM is capable
The ONLY thing BM is capable of making is M.I.S.E.R.Y...for herself & everyone around her. If there was a MISERY-flavored cake, BM would be the master-chef of those. SS doesn't even like cake. He doesn't like chocolate. He doesn't like cheese. He doesn't like butter. He doesn't like milk. He doesn't like eggs. He doesn't like frosting. The only thing sweet he'll touch is Skittles & Gummy Bears.
He'll eat a hamburger or a hot dog (minus the bun) & french fries, & if we go out to eat, no doubt he'll order filet mignon.
He couldn't give 2 shits about whether or not there's a birthday cake, except that BM not having the giant fancy show cake made her cry. Like everything else, it's ALL about BM & her never-ending need to have everyone looking at her & throwing blessings & grace all over her attention-whore ass so she can feel like she's the lowly single mother raising 2 children all by herself...& look what she can do!!! What she fails to acknowledge is everyone around her who pays her bills, buys their clothes, pays her car payments, & puts money in her pocket that she gets to spend with the kids like she's doing something for them.
What's sad about it all is that the kids see everyone else giving her money & paying her bills & watching her live her life honestly believing she's the one doing it all. They know she doesn't have a job. They know she doesn't pay people back what she's "borrowed". So, essentially they know she hasn't done a damn thing but use everyone around her & they STILL have this devotion to her & will get pissed in a minute at anyone who questions her ways.