SD13 treating her Disneyland dad with the disrespect he deserves!!!
Day 5/6/7?? I'm so bothered I've lost count. Official days that SD 13 has took her stuff and how many days H has been wallowing in self pity. She finally responded to his inboxes with 'A (me) can drop my stuff off. And to do you want your pet? A firm No. Finally he sees the light!!!. His question to me? Should I see her if she wants. Absolutely I say. She is your daughter, she will need you and she's your responsibility. He says she's hurt me. I say? You created her you do right by her. Just do not expect me to ever involve her in my life again. He is not shirking his responsibilities anymore. He wonders why my children do not behave like this??? I do not even go there. Instead I go out for for lunch with my friend and say I will be back when I am. I love him but he needs to do this on his own. My a## wiping is done. Anyone think is this worth doing or am I wasting my time. Starla? What do you think??
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Well I can offer my
Well I can offer my perspective based on how I'm visualizing the situation and I hope that others will offer their input too.
Please correct me if I am wrong. SD spends most nights at BM's house then comes back and says "I'm moving to moms". Takes most of her stuff then cuts off contact. Husband tries to blame you but it backfires bc you are standing strong. He feels his daughter has betrayed him especially after how good he was to her. Now, feeling betrayed he comes to you seeking permission to write her off. You tell him "she is your responsibility and she is going to need you" and your advising him to suck it up and be a parent.
If my summary is accurate, I think you did the right thing and pat yourself on the back for that.
I'm trying to understand if your husband is only contacting her by emails or if he has tried calling too? Also wondering about BM's character and her role in all of this.
If my dad only contacted me by emails, that would send me mixed messages and I wouldn't feel worthy of his time. Not to mention that my BM would be talking in my ears as I was composing the message{s}. Just a thought on that note.
I would follow your heart and keep standing your ground with or without your husband. Just my opinion, I think he is putting himself into the victim role and he is only going to get back what he gives if even that much. Her teenage manipulations have only just started so he needs to buckle up and quick, its going to be a long ride. He had a hand in messing her up and it is his duty to see it through. The one thing that he does have going for him, is a level headed woman to advise him if he doesn't mess that up too.
I hope I'm not sounding to harsh here, its what I have told my DH and still have to remind him on occasion.
I absolutely agree. BM will
I absolutely agree. BM will not tolerate him turning up at house and she limits contact with the smaller ones. SD13 since going has changed her mobile. Umber and is ignoring any Internet contact. It us school holidays so we cannot turn up there. We have tried.. But I am now done. Let him sort his mess. I can see he's struggling but he will have to learn. I have a life to kead