Question from my FH to you all

SD3 is in Germany with her mom. FH gets to talk to SD3 online. BMH was deployed for a few months and now he's back...and now SD3 is back to calling him daddy and FH "daddy (first name )". FH wants your opinion on how to handle this and for any vid points he could tell BM why that's not ok. I've already shared my thoughts with him. I basically see it as very disrespectful for BM and BMH to encourage it. There is one mom and one dad. It's already hard enough for FH to speak to SD3. She's constantly looking at the corner with her eyes while she talks to FH. Like she's looking to see if she's being watched and not wanting to be herself. She stands there like she's bothered about something and doesn't want to be online with FH. He doesn't force her to stay. He asks her what's wrong and she doesn't want to talk. This honestly wasn't a problem when BMH was deployed. She would talk for 30-45 mins. Very engaged and acting silly. It's hard to not assume, but when FH asks BM what's going on with SD3 behavior, it's a complete mystery to them. So what so you all think about the name calling??

I watch a lot of dr phil for advice and read on his website as to what I can do to be a better step parent, do's and don'ts, boundaries..all that.

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I don't know.. she's 3. Kids

I don't know.. she's 3. Kids go through stages. Hell, BS4 went through a stage (about that same age) where he was calling DH and I by our first names. We corrected him here and there, but didn't make a big deal out of it. I mean he was 3 and he was hearing US and EVERYONE else call us by our first name, so why wouldn't he?

My guess is that your SD is calling your FH "daddy first name" because that is what BM and Step dad are referring to him as. If she is close enough with her step dad to call him "daddy" I personally would be HAPPY about that. My parents were divorced and I used to call my Step Dad "Dad" because he WAS like a dad to me. I also called my bio Dad "Dad". Neither one ever made an issue about it, ever.

I completely get that. It

I completely get that. It took me years to referring my stepdad as dad (love him to death). And my real dad was always dad. When SD3 is with us we say "your mommy" because that's who BM is. And of course she knows her parents names if you ask. I am the mother figure while she's in our care, but I am not her mom. I don't want her mom to feel like I'm overstepping boundaries. If SD3 wants to call me mom as she gets older because she chose to, then ok..I can be mommy(first name).

Thank you. FH doesn't want to

Thank you. FH doesn't want to come off like he knows better and it needs to be this way or that way. Just want to gather everyone's thoughts and come to a conclusion.

It's just weird when FH says "I love and miss you! "And SD3 SD3 is talking under her breath and looking to the side. It's sort of unusual. That's happened every time since BMH has been back. It's difficult because FH doesn't want to cause problems. He feels like it falls on deaf ears and that it's never just between him and BM. Like it's BM, BMH and he's the outsider. I feel bad.

I think I made a typo or

I think I made a typo or maybe you read that wrong but BM is a stay at home home. Her husband was deployed.

I know they talk to him while

I know they talk to him while he's deployed. But I see what you're saying.

My SD6 sometimes slips and

My SD6 sometimes slips and calls my husband by his first name. We know that BM and her boyfriend talk about us in front of SD, so I'm sure that's why she does it. I'm sure it's the same in your case - your SD is obviously getting that from BM and her husband.

BM also submitted something to her lawyer (God knows why she chose this route) about how SD wants to start calling BM's boyfriend "Daddy", and that she wants to call my husband by his first name. It was a whole convoluted story about something SD supposedly said. But SD still calls my husband "Daddy" so I'm sure BM made up the whole thing.

I would do what Echo said and correct your SD each time.

Yup my SD6 slips too. My FDH,

Yup my SD6 slips too. My FDH, however, doesn't correct her. This drives me batty when I hear it and I can't help it; I correct her. SD6 has a big problem with giving people respect like BM, she thinks she's the only one that matters. So because of this, I take it seriously that he just lets her "slip" and I go ahead and correct.