It depends on how long she's been taught to work with it, & I think that it depends a lot on the length/cut.

My SD was wanting to do her own hair at 6 years old. Of course, no one was willing to be seen in public with her after she'd done her own, so we helped her with it. Her hair was long, so it was harder for her to manage. DH wasn't willing to take the time to teach her to work with it, so she wasn't learning how to work through tangles, etc.

When I started spending time with her, we had time to play dress-ups & do hair, etc. It helped her learn.

If your bf isn't taking time to teach her, she isn't going to learn.

ETA: It isn't always about the child outgrowing a ritual. Sometimes it's about the parent being willing to let it go too.

I had very long hair growing up, my mother helped me do it until I was 11 or 12. I simply couldn't get all the knots out on my own. My SIL12 still needed help with her hair last year, I would comb it after she showered and then braid it. It was a nice bonding experience, she'd jabber on about her life while I was doing it so I knew what was going on. It gave me more than one chance to help her avoid a bad situation. It may not be a bad thing that he helps her out at 10. I'd start worrying around 13 or 14 if she isn't showing signs of independence.

I still do my 9yo daughters hair. And my 11 year old just starting doing her own this past month. It was me that held her back from doing it in the past, I was afraid she would burn herself with the curling irons or straighteners. I still braid it for her softball games because she likes it in a french braid and can't do that herself.

I started working with my SD when she was 6, teaching her how to wash & condition her hair properly. By 7, she was able to shower on her own (there have been a few instances where I needed to re-rinse her hair though). When I met SO, her hair was LONG & him brushing it in morning took FOREVER because it was so knotty. Now that she's 9 & knows about the importance of conditioner, it's easier. Plus, I had her hair cut to shoulder-blade length (we're custodial). She can now brush her hair, she uses head bands A LOT & can do simple pony tails. I do her hair when she wants something more elaborate (braids).

At 4 years old, both of my SD's were learning how to brush their own hair. By the age of 5, they could both brush their own hair after baths or whenever; it just took them a little while since they have such long hair. SD7 now showers, washes, and brushes her own hair completely on her own.

As for styles, braids, etc .. they both still need help with that at ages 5 and 7. They both prefer to keep their hair down all the time, so there's not much interest on their part either.

My SD has long curly frizzy hair. I had her washing it herself at 7. At 8 she was expected to brush it out after her showers on her own. At 9 she brushed it out herself and put it t in a ponytail or headband. I still do her hair for parties or pictures.

But all those steps to independence were initiated by me. She fought each and every one of them.

My SD has long curly frizzy hair. I had her washing it herself at 7. At 8 she was expected to brush it out after her showers on her own. At 9 she brushed it out herself and put it t in a ponytail or headband. I still do her hair for parties or pictures.

But all those steps to independence were initiated by me. She fought each and every one of them.

My SD has long curly frizzy hair. I had her washing it herself at 7. At 8 she was expected to brush it out after her showers on her own. At 9 she brushed it out herself and put it t in a ponytail or headband. I still do her hair for parties or pictures.

But all those steps to independence were initiated by me. She fought each and every one of them.