AAAAAAARRRGHHH

I HAVE JUST CAUGHT SS *CHEWING* ON ONE OF MY BEAUTIFUL WOODEN DINING ROOM CHAIRS

OH MY GOD. REALLY?!! WHAT ARE YOU, 6MONTHS OLD? OR SIX *YEARS* OLD??!!!

I f***ing kid you not, there are f***ing TEETH MARKS ON MY F***ING GORGEOUS CHAIR

OH MY GOD.

sunny_skies's blog
Log in or register to post comments

Comments

Ok ok I said I wouldn't log

Ok ok I said I wouldn't log into ST for a few days break, but I had to walk away right then, having some quiet time now, and needed my STalkers. I don't have anyone else to talk to about this f***ing s**t. He is actually almost 6yrs old btw.

I have reached the limit of my patience with this kid. I can tell that very soon, I will have to go against every fibre of my anxiety about posting personal stuff online, and give more info to you guys, as I NEED ADVICE ON WHAT TO DO.

Btw, admin, sorry about missing out on the *stars* with the word "b***s**t" in my last blog, I was quiiite upset at the time. Please don't kick me out :/

Wait....what?? I have a 5

Wait....what?? I have a 5 year old and I would never expect her to bite a chair. That does not make sense. It's not a kid's job to do "stupid sh*t" nor is a parent's job to expect their kid to do stupid sh*t. It is NOT NORMAL for a 6 year old to chew on furniture.

Sunny, since you don't post much about skid issues I don't have any advice, except that this is not normal or acceptable behavior. I would never expect dd5 to chew on a chair.

One of my turned 7 last week

One of my turned 7 last week and at 5 she was drawing all over the furniture!!!!!!!

I can't say my family was/are

I can't say my family was/are into chewing wood furniture. Nope. My dining table was purchased by my great grandparents as newlyweds. Been through my grandfather and his two siblings, my father and his various cousins, then my sister and I, my five kids and my two grandkids... not a bite/chew mark on it. Chewing/biting wooden furniture just never occurred to try out, I guess.

Now stupid? Yeah, every kid does stupid. I distinctly remember getting my buns swatted by my grandfather when I was found standing on the sofa coloring on the wall. I also remember threatening my oldest grandson (three years at the time) to toss his entire play case of Thomas The Train in the recycle bin if he so much as even thought of peeling wallpaper off the kitchen breakfast nook wall again. I'll even admit to my youngest son (about four then) putting his oldest brother's hamster in the toilet to hid it (yes, he flushed toilet when ODS found YDS, but poor hamster was recused and lived).

But wood? No, luckily my family generations skipped that stunt. I did try those stupid colored milkbone doggie biscuits though. Does that count?

She might not chew on a

She might not chew on a chair, but she will do something else just a stupid. LOL

All kids do stuff from time to time that make us think WHAT THE HELL.

*

Wait....what?? I have a 5

Sunny, since you don't post much about skid issues I don't have any advice, except that this is not normal or acceptable behavior. I would never expect dd5 to chew on a chair.

Wait....what?? I have a 5

Sunny, since you don't post much about skid issues I don't have any advice, except that this is not normal or acceptable behavior. I would never expect dd5 to chew on a chair.

Dogs chew furniture. And when

Dogs chew furniture. And when they do they go out the back garden. Cause they are bad. I suggest similar.
Then I suggest a picture is taken of the furniture damage and an invoice produced to your partner to get the piece fixed
This is a disgrace. I would have blown ten gaskets - how on earth did you not scream murder?

Sorry ladies, chewing a chair

Sorry ladies, chewing a chair at that age is not normal. Covering yourself in make up, rubbing cream all over the place, "making art" on the floor sure. Chewing a wooden chair is just disrespectful. If any of the kids did that in my home I would go nuclear. Yes , kids will damage things but as a previous poster said, puppies chew furniture/ shoes not a stb6 year old.

Sunny love ((hugs)). I feel you. I'm very house proud too.

Yeah...kids definitely do

Yeah...kids definitely do dumb stuff and ruin your things. Don't have any, but I am the oldest of 6 and remember the antics of my younger siblings well. Still...I find that most kid messes are in the service of something creative or helpful. Coloring on walls, huge messes made in the kitchen because they wanted to make you breakfast...trying to pour their own drink and spilling it everywhere...or else pure accidents. Kids are clumsy and rowdy...throw balls in the house no matter how often they get in trouble for it...

This still seems odd to me and purely destructive...almost mean-spirited. My niece is 6, and she'll do dumb things. She colored all of her brand-new Shopkins with markers recently and then got upset because they didn't look good anymore. But it was her being creative...trying to give them makeovers. She gets in trouble all the time for being too rough, too rowdy, jumping on furniture. Certainly she makes messes and breaks things...but it's in the course of play. I've never seen her intentionally destroy something for no good reason.

I think you're right...I read

I think you're right...I read down a little further after I posted and saw the follow-up story. It does seem like it was absent-minded and not malicious. For some reason, reading the OP I had this image in my head of some crazed-looking skid sitting cross-legged on the floor and gnawing on the chair leg

As I said later...my SIXTEEN year old SD has picked at stuff around the house nervously or absent-mindedly. Bugged the heck out of me, but I didn't think it was malicious. And, as a kid, I often chewed on the collars of my sweatshirts. It drove my mom crazy...but I liked the way the shirts smelled after they'd been chewed on. Gross, I know.

Sunny -- I think you handled it very well. Some kids are emotional and tender-hearted, and so they don't need tons of correction...they just need to be reminded about other people's needs and taught to be more careful.

I used to gnaw on wooden

I used to gnaw on wooden pencils. Annoying. Thoughtless. Mindless. Jabbed it into my gum once and went to the doctor since I broke the lead off in my gum.

Ok I have now calmed down

Ok I have now calmed down enough to type again lol

When I saw him doing it, (again, as always, an absent minded thing that he does without thinking) I raised my voice and said "SS! Are you *actually* chewing on my chair?!! If you don't stop right now, I will.."

(then stopped myself from saying "kick your butt")

..paused, looked at the damage he'd done to my chair, then said quietly under my breath "I have to walk away right now" and left the room to go upstairs.

SS was sitting *on* the chair with his back towards the dining room table, facing DH (the chair was slightly pulled out from table) who was in the other corner of the room showing SS something on his computer. So SS was sitting on a dining room chair, in a trance looking at the computer, but backwards I guess. The chew marks are on the top back of the chair and quite noticeable.

When I came back down from my 'quiet time', I went into the kitchen and DH rubbed my back, as he could see how upset I was, but still trying to keep cool. The kids were playing in the other room by now.

I quietly asked him "did you say anything to him after I left?" DH said no. That he didn't know what to say to SS. I replied "well *something* needs to be said, what shall we/you/I say?!" He said he didn't know.

SS is a very emotional kid. So I decided to take the angle of *emotions* from my point of view. I thought that might make him fully understand how upset I was/am.

I went into the room where the kids were playing, and said "SS, I need to talk to you about something, would you come with me please" I led him into the dining room and showed him the teeth marks on the chair. (This was about 5/10 minutes after the chewing)

I could see him physically stiffen up, waiting for a big telling off. But I spoke to him in a regular voice and said "SS, can you see this? ("Yes") This really upset me and made me very sad. ("Yes") In fact I almost wanted to cry when I walked away before. ("Yes") ... (can I just say here that this kid said "yes" more within the space of 30 seconds that is actually normal, even inbetween me asking him stuff)

(His eyes started to fill up with tears) I carried on "Do you know why I was so upset and wanted to cry?" (he shook his head) "Because I bought aaall of the furniture in this house for us to have a nice home. (Yeh that was me, all furniture is *mine*) I bought these chairs *and* this table, *especially* so we could all sit down and have nice meals together. But now this chair is damaged because you chewed on it. Please SS. I really don't want you to ever do that again. It really upset me, and made me want to cry."

He was really filling up with tears at this point (and DD had followed us in to see what was going on) so I wrapped it up by saying "Do you understand? ("Yes") Now c'mon, give me a hug ((hug)). Please don't ever do that again SS"

He said ok and went on his merry way. Jeez I don't know if that was right or wrong, or if I even got through to him, but I'm still so upset about the marks on my chair.

There are actual chew marks on there. The chairs are dark wood and I know *nothing* about furniture so I guess they must be varnished with dark varnish? As the chew marks are very light/almost white, and quite noticeable as they're on the top of one of the backs of the chairs.

I understand what some of you are saying, Thankyou for sharing your stories.. but I don't find it cute/part of a funny family story to tell. Especially after what happened last weekend when I lost it with him. If anything I hate those marks even more because of what happened last weekend.

I am sorry for the damage to

I am sorry for the damage to the chair. I can understand how upset you are especially when you have bought everything and it is not respected
For what it is worth you handled things very well
The chair will need to be sanded and then re- varnished but I think it probably can be fixed

You did fine.

six year old sitting on

six year old sitting on chair, back to table, in trance looking at computer - - -

Hate to say this, but I don't find this out of the normal range of behavior. If you go into a first grade classroom, with six year olds, and they sit like this, you most likely will find a chair back chewer. In these classrooms you will also find pencil chewers, paper chewers, shirt chewers, etc. When sitting at a computer some will chew headphone wires.
For some reason when they concentrate, some six year olds chew.

Not atypical behavior, but it still needs correcting, and you did a great job of correcting.

I feel for you Sunny. I would

I feel for you Sunny. I would have come unglued.

My SD5 (will be 6 in 6 days) has some special needs though it is very unclear at this point how many of her behavioral issues are due to special needs and how many are her just being a brat.

When she was 4, and potty trained, barely but she was trained, I sent her in the bathroom to use the toilet before we left the house. I don't remember where we were going but I remember we left after that. She was in there for an inordinately long time so I went to check and she was buttoning her pants so I didn't think anything of it. I found out later that afternoon the reason she had taken so long was because she had completely pulled off her bands and squatted on the bathroom rug to pee. The toilet was right there and she intentionally peed on the bathroom rug. I was livid.

A few months ago she was coloring in her room and was drawing designs directly on the carpet.....with marker. Thankfully they were magic markers so it came right up but still, I was furious.

You handled that much better

You handled that much better than I would have. My filter is broken. You "adulted" very well today Sunny!

Totally agree.

What the hell?! That is not

What the hell?! That is not normal....even if SS4 were to chew on my dining furniture I would thing it was absurd behavior. Hopefully your little brat got a splinter and learned chairs are not for eating.

Oh geez. I would have hit the

Oh geez. I would have hit the roof.

Wait until he's SIXTEEN and picking at your tables and your walls, peeling the paint off for no damn reason. My OSD did that. She also wrote on one of the beautiful natural-cut stones on the front of my house. Not big at all...you have to know it's there. She wrote "rock" which DH thought was cute / funny. I'm sorry...you're a teenager. You don't write on your home, even if it is 8pt font.

You handled that with lots of

You handled that with lots of grace and kindness Sunny.

Sometimes it's brain wiring,

Sometimes it's brain wiring, not willfulness. If he tends to be a "chewer" - let him chew on something else - http://inyardproducts.com/collections/chewing-necklaces or http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00WQB4I0E?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creativeAS.... Sensory processing issues are as frustrating for the kiddo as they are for the adults.

dup

*dup*

I understand that you're

I understand that you're upset because your furniture was damaged and that sucks big time. Especially when you work so hard for it.
However you say it's not malicious which is awesome, and that he does it without thinking. Have you considered a sensory issue? Or that maybe he gets anxious and nervous and starts to chew on things. My SS used to chew stuff all the time. He didn't stop til the age of 12. It was a nervous thing and sensory overload. My bio son now 6 does it as well. It's a coping mechanism for him when he starts to feel overwhelmed and anxious. They chewed pencils, jumper cords, tshirt collars or whatever they just picked up and shoves in their mouths. Annoying... Totally, gross... Definitely, but it's their way of coping with whatever is running through their heads.They way you spoke to ss and handled the situation was brilliant and obviously he has remorse.

This is the first and only

This is the first and only time he's ever chewed on anything, it's not an ongoing problem. I just re-read my comment and realised it might be confusing

"When I saw him doing it, (again, as always, an absent minded thing that he does without thinking)"

What I meant was that he's always doing things absent mindedly, not always chewing things.

He's in a little world of his own, a dreamer. I need advice on what to do with a kid like this, he just forgets things all the time.

When we tell him to stop doing something, he'll stop because he's actually a really well behaved kid. But after a few minutes (sometimes even less than a minute) he'll start doing it again absent mindedly. I know for a fact that he's not being deliberately naughty, he's just in his own little world and forgets.

I realise this might just be a kid thing (forgetting stuff within 5 seconds) but it's actually becoming a huge, huge problem which seems to be getting worse as time goes on.

I am reaching the end of my patience levels with it, and I'm scared this inability to actually listen, and do as he's told will only get worse as he gets older.

How is he doing in school?

How is he doing in school? Has his teacher mentioned any attention issues?

I had to ask DH about his

I had to ask DH about his schooling as I have absolutely no interest. DH says there has only been one incident of bad behaviour (hitting other kids). That was about 6months ago. I have no idea if he pays attention in class. It hasn't been mentioned.

Thankyou Jasper, I truly

Thankyou Jasper, I truly appreciate any/all opinions x

I think I was just so shocked at what he'd done that I had absolutely no friggin idea what to do in that moment :O

I'd have loved to yank him straight out of my chair and spank him the moment I saw the damage he'd done to it. But because of how badly I lost it with him last weekend I still feel bad and just had to walk away.

Not to mention the hell I'd pay if BM found out I'd spanked him, that is not something I'd want to deal with.

Jeesuz I just want a quiet calm life is that so much to ask *feeling hopeless*

I really think this is an age

I really think this is an age thing. My 4 year old will still occasionally try and chew on things. I just tell her no. She hasn't tried chewing on a chair, but there have been other things. It varies from kid to kid. My oldest bio never chewed on anything. Unfortunately, kids are really hard on furniture. My DH had to redo our TV stand recently b/c DD4 scratched the top. I was livid, just like you are. I think there should be an appropriate punishment. Maybe you can fix the damage. But, I am not surprised that the kid didn't do it maliciously.

Thankyou Jasper, I'm still

Thankyou Jasper, I'm still heartbroken over my chair too :'(

Got to say though, I think you may have gotten the wrong idea about DH from this particular incident that happened. He is usually very strict with SS and doesn't let him get away with stuff easily.

I normally *never* have to say a single thing to SS when he does anything wrong/bad. Even something as small as chewing with his mouth open at the table, DH is on top of him like a thunderclap, putting the fear of gawrd into him to make sure he behaves, and is polite at all times.

DH rarely raises his voice (like me) but is very, very firm. But when DH snaps like I did last week? Hoo boy. There have been times in the past that DH has yelled at SS so bad that even DD2.5 started crying, and she wasn't even in the room lol! She's just not used to daddy yelling, it only happens when SS does something *really* bad, which is rare. (He's generally a good kid) Even *I* jump out of my skin when DH loses it and yells at SS!

He is very strict with him. (*and* DD btw, both kids are firmly parented by DH, in age appropriate ways/time outs etc)

To be honest, I think both DH and I were both just SO completely shocked, and totally *dumbfounded* at SS chewing a f***ing chair that *neither* of us knew what the f***ing f**k to do or say to him!

I scrabbled to find words to say to SS to let him know he shouldn't do it again, and the only thing that came to mind was telling him how upset I was about it :/ Dumb.

Don't worry it's ok, it seems

Don't worry it's ok, it seems quite common on ST to find spineless Disney dads. So I can understand how you thought DH might be one of them lol!

I just spoke to him and said "If you could turn back time, without the shock and confusion as to what SS had just done, how would you have reacted?"

He said that he would have given SS a pop on the butt with a bit of scary yelling, then sent him to time out. I replied "Yep, that's what I would've done if I'd caught DD2.5 doing that!"

Difference is, DD is TWO. I really do think we were both just so shocked at a kid this age doing something like that, we didn't know what to do! Also as I said earlier, I was holding back as I'd lost it so badly with SS last weekend, and still feel bad about it. I just had to walk away

You are here

Comments