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Decree mis interpretations

Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Tue, 11/08/2016 - 11:16am

So my ex is so famous for re Interpreting what our divorce decree says. My personal favorite was when he was threatening me with criminal and civil prosecution this summer and sent me verbiage not even in our decree.

So BS mentioned something regarding Thanksgiving that made me question whether my ex had read our decree . I sent him this:

Ex husband,
This year as I am sure you are aware you have Thanksgiving day. I wanted to touch base and see if you want to pick BS up on Wednesday night to sleep over and what time will work for me to pick him up . I then included a snip from our decree with the upcoming holidays. Note thanks giving does not give a time range.

Me Him
Thanksgiving Day Odd Years Even Years
Christmas Eve:
9:00 am-9pM Never Every Year
Christmas Day:
9:00 am-9pM Every year Never
New Years
9am 12/31-6pm 1/1Odd Years Even Years

He sent me this: I thought we had Thanksgiving arranged where, if I took the day off work on Friday, he’d stay with me the entire weekend?

Two years ago he didn't take the older kids for Thanksgiving and when I didn't jump at not sending BS as he suggested he did take BS but bought a premade meal to heat up, didn't shower and cooked and served dinner in his boxer shorts. He threw on sweats when I came to the door.

I responded back with:

You must be confusing our decree with yours and BM1’s. The way ours reads is as below, just the day. That is how it was 2 years ago when you had just him at your place in Hoboville.

I am pretty shocked I have not heard anything back yet.

I hate the fact that he doesn't want to ever abide by the decree and that he can't even be bothered to read it in three years.

Comments

nengooseus's picture

Submitted by nengooseus on Tue, 11/08/2016 - 11:29am

We did the same for DH's decree. It's VERY specific about everything. The hope is that it will decrease friction between him and BM, and will keep her from making stupid demands and refusing things she's not entitled to refuse.

It's been a couple of months and it hasn't helped yet. She's just infuriating.

nengooseus's picture

Submitted by nengooseus on Tue, 11/08/2016 - 12:02pm

I'm still hopeful, but BM is a major piece of work, so everything is still a struggle. It's like dealing with a dam with a hole. You block the hole and another hole opens up.

Communication was a major issue, for example, so we addressed it in the CO. All communication goes through OFW except emergencies, including urgent medial appointments, and there's a protocol for emergencies spelled out (with phone number listed). What happens the first time since the new CO that a kid has an urgent medical issue? She puts an appointment for 2 PM in the OFW calendar at 11:30 AM and doesn't use the emergency protocol. She's violating the CO, but it's a relatively minor issue, so we look like jackholes if we take her to court over it.

So the order is great, and if she weren't such a jerk, I'm sure it would be totally useful, but I'm afraid we will end up in exactly the same place we have been.

Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Tue, 11/08/2016 - 11:43am

It is my weekend so you are correct. Right now he is pissed because the CS is be reviewed because it is time and health care costs went up significantly and I have eaten it for 2 years.

Now he wants the visitation to be reviewed and has made a whole bunch of crazy demands. That is fine, I am no longer afraid and can hardly wait to go through mediation and then court. He is nuts and has threatened me repeatedly since the week after the divorce. Oh and he wants an international criminal investigation against my husband because he was a truck driver so he is positive he was a transient and could be a child molester.

Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Tue, 11/08/2016 - 12:06pm

I could not make this stuff up. I have 2 1/2 years of crazy emails flip flopping back and forth, demands, threats and texts that I have cataloged with a spread sheet. It is pretty sickening.

lastcallhall's picture

Submitted by lastcallhall on Tue, 11/08/2016 - 11:54am

I've just learned to tune mine out, expect nothing, and document everything. Saves me time and stress.

Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Tue, 11/08/2016 - 12:22pm

I am filing with the state. I have tried to be nice and he makes it impossible.

Here's some exciting news, he got married a week and a half ago on a Thursday. Guess how his kids found out. The 19 year old was in town for a wedding and swung by and went to church with them. He saw it in the bulletin. He called his 16 year old brother on his way back to college to tell him. Ex told BS9 on Friday when he picked him up. To the best of our knowledge no one else was there.

Sweet T's picture

Submitted by Sweet T on Tue, 11/08/2016 - 12:44pm

I don't think it will. I think this is all a part of trying to look good in court. I hope he is a better husband to her than to either BM1 or I. She is a nice lady and treats my son very well.