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Interesting development

Sweet T's picture

So in the spirit of not being accused of co parenting or withholding info I had emailed ex about bs10's teacher info, band and the plan for getting himself on the bus. He doesn't reply or acknowledge these correspondences. Not even where I mention the upcoming non school days and if he wants to make some longer weekends out of them

This radio silence is totally new for him...makes me suspicious considering he has been threatening me for months with he has not made up his mind whether to drag me back to court to get the crazy time he is requesting because he is too lazy to drive across town during the week after he moved to the other side without thinking about the impact.

Kind of funny how amicable he was durin baseball with an audience and now is back to his usual behavior.

Comments

thisisnotmocking's picture

Just a new game. You must not have reacted "correctly" the last time.

Is he trying to get you to "harrass" him by asking for a response?

Never try to figure out the crazy.

strugglingSM's picture

Not to play devil's advocate, but did you ask him a specific question or did you just throw information out there.

My DH has a habit of forwarding emails to me or sending me things that sometimes seem like he wants me to read his mind and figure out what he wants. I've told him that if he wants me to give him some sort of response or do something for him, then he needs to be direct and ask me, but I don't respond to random FYI emails or forwarded emails not sent to me about things that need to happen...and this is my DH, someone whom I love and get along with.

It could be that your ex is playing some game or it could be that he just didn't think a response was needed. BM will send DH info and then send him five texts asking him why he didn't say thank you to her. If you have a contentious relationship, I don't think you should expect an acknowledgement.

Also, not sure what your situation is, but when BM asks DH if he wants extra time, he always feels like she's trying to trap him in some way. This could be because she always prefaces it by saying "if I only saw the children on weekends, I know I'd want to see them more" and usually she only offers him extra time when she's made plans on her time or because she wants to take some of his time in the future, so she using her "granting" of the extra time as a favor that needs to be repaid.

DH doesn't respond to his ex because every interaction with her is a fight. Even when she's asking him for a favor she approaches it as if he's already being difficult before he was even asked. He's told her he doesn't respond to her because she always wants to fight with him and he's sick of that.

That's just one perspective, but my view, don't expect the worst when there's silence, just be happy there is silence.

moving_on_again's picture

My ex, who I haven't spoken to in 13 years until last month, replied "thank you" to the required text I sent him of DS's college schedule. My jaw about hit the floor. I didn't expect a response at all.

Sweet T's picture

No, there were questions that required responses. He has never been radio silent before so this is new. I am done. I shared the necessary info, I will take the lack of answer as a no.

Maxwell09's picture

I think there's a way via app or something that you can use that tells you when a receiver has opened an email. I'd get one of those at least to prove he (or someone with access to his account) open them. It'll get rid of the "I never got it" excuse.

WagiMorri's picture

From personal experience it's usually a ploy to try and get you to follow up. That way they know that they are on your mind AND they get to flip out about how you're "nagging" them. Then if you don't follow up with them & they miss a scheduled event or some kind of detail you'd included in the email, they can blame you for not sending them the info, even though you did, and then blame you for not following up with them on the important stuff.

Long story short: Ignore his silence and ALWAYS save what's in your Sent folder so if he does complain you can just forward him the email you've already sent him before. So satisfying...

Sweet T's picture

I have sent all that I am sending. Our decree says we are both responsible for our communication with the school. They have a website...he is in IT so he can figure that out. He has not bothered to give his latest address so I know his copy of BS s report card was returned to them...not my problem.

He did not show up for the last conference even.

Who knows what his deal is. The last time I saw himboth he and his wife were super friendly when picking bs up for their week of vacation.