Sick kid and stupid parents
Today BS10 called me right after I got to work to tell me he threw up. He has not gotten off to school so I tell him grab a bucket and lay on the couch. I had a couple things to do and then I would head home and would work the rest of the day from home. I am fortunate that the three managers I work for all have kids so they get it.
In non rush hour traffic my office is 15 to 20 minutes away. My ex moved across the metro and during non rush hour traffic and works about the same.
I send him an FYI that BS10 is home today. He sends me this ( bare in mind he still will not answer a simple email about some extra days he is getting and how we are handling my picking BS back up and when)
He replies back with this and copied his wife who is a nurse:
Thanks. You realize that I can pick him up, if sick, as well, right?
I responded back ( he does not have visitation during the week and has turned down extra time after flipping out almost a year ago that he was entitled to 25% and wanted every weekend)
It doesn’t make a lot of sense for you to drive from XXX to pick him up and then drive him back to XXX and then have me have to drive back to XXX to get him when he is sick. My work is totally fine with us working from home when we have a sick child. It took me 15 minutes to get back home.
He does not have his phone with him as when we are sick there are no video games being played. He can watch some TV or read. If you want to talk to him earlier just call his cell and I will bring it up to him.
Why would any one think it was a good idea to drive to the custodial parents house 40 minutes away during non rush hour to pick up a kid that had thrown up to drive them 40 minutes only for the other person to have to then drive probably an hour down and almost an hour home with the sick kid???? We do not live by each other because he moved, he is not allowed in my house because he acts badly and lets copy his wife so he can cry to her how I don't let him be a dad.
It is BS's time with me, I drove the 15 minutes home, he is laying in his bed resting with his dog and I am working from home and my boss totally understands.
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Comments
Maybe he thought your FYI was
Maybe he thought your FYI was an around the way question on whether he could help?
A "thanks, but I got this...just wanted you to know he was sick" is all you really need to send to him.
I am pretty sure not. He used
I am pretty sure not. He used to complain bm didn't have him take the kids to the Dr. When we were married he didn't stay home when bs was sick because he would sleep and leave our child on his own.
Oh and my original email stated I was home.
So why did you even text him
So why did you even text him to inform him that your son was sick to begin with. Honestly I can see why he doesn't like to communicate with you. You send him text that son is sick. He responds that he can pick son up. You respond with a diatribe about how that is not necessary.... so what was the point of the original text to begin with??
I think it was nice of him to offer to pick him up whether it takes him 40 minutes or 4. I just don't get it, it's like you relish in making this man (that you procreated with) look stupid. :?
I emailed him because my
I emailed him because my decree says I have to inform him of illness and missed days.
The man I married an chose to have a baby with is not the mentally ill abusive person he turned out to.be.
I am not some crazy bm.
Unfortunately there is
Unfortunately there is probably no way to please him. If you had asked him to pick up BS his answer would not have been the same.
My YSD can also be this way. If you ask a question about something, you are too nosy. If you don't ask you are uncaring. There's no way to do the right thing.
I hope your little boy feels
I hope your little boy feels better soon.
I wouldn't have informed him.
I wouldn't have informed him. You already know he doesn't check the attendance records at school. What's the worst that can happen? Now, if he's ill enough to go to a Dr for a flu and is out all week? Maybe, otherwise it's just creating additional reasons for 'communication' that will end in another fight.
CHoose your battles more wisely. You don't engage an abuser if you don't have to.
One more add- how many times do you communicate with him every week? It bothers you if he doesn't answer you, when he does you scrutinize and criticize his response? Communicate LESS with him. The tooth thing- I would have just deal w/it and then present him your half of the bill via e-mail. But this is constant Sweet T- I've mentioned this to you before because I've known you for 'ages' on here lol- but in some ways you DO act like a crazy bm
Not always...but this one, yeah.
Hey Banana, how are you
Hey Banana, how are you doing?
Lately we have had a couple of things that had to be dealt with. Otherwise we can go weeks w/o contact.
The absences show up on the report card. So I worry if I don't tell him he will go off.
I think the difference between being me and being a crazy bm and between me and him is I try to do what is right not just do whatever I want and screw the rest of the world.
My biggest fails with this is I hate how things pop up how he mis interprets and it causes a thing. I want to avoid that and I need him to acknowledge that yes he will be returning bs on the extra days he got.
Otherwise it is drama. His control is by not answering.
My other fail is today I pointed out the stupidity of what he was suggesting. He constantly puts me in my place and it builds up. Plus I know he just did it so his wife would see what a good dad he is.
I guess my other epic fail is caring what others think.
I
Just to clear up some things.
Just to clear up some things. I sent an email not a text and he was the one who wanted it in the decree. Our son is 10 and we have been divorced for 4 years so it was written when he was younger.
What I sent was fyi, bs called b4 he got on the bus and said he threw up. I am working from home the rest of the day.
I would not have informed
I would not have informed him, sorry it's not an emergency and he is not suppose to pick up BS from school or anything.
Simply would've gone home, attend to DS and say nothing, could only be a 24 hour bug, nothing to report...
but that's just me