Conversation with no logic....
DH told me that his kid's are responsible for how they act. He thinks them wasting food isn't a big deal and he thinks that they don't have respect adults. He thinks that respect should be earned. Isn't it his responsibility as a parent to make sure that they are respectful towards adults and it doesn't have to be earned? I don't get his logic. We are supposed to go out to dinner with his business partner this weekend and the skids are coming along. His business partner asked us if we wanted to go to dinner and is paying for everyone's dinner even the skids. I told DH well you might want to make sure that the skid's don't order something expensive and then waste it. He didn't seem to care about that and told me that the skid's are responsible for how they act.
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They are responsible for how
They are responsible for how they act.
The way they act reflects on HIS sh!tty parenting.
If his logic is that respect should be earned, let him know the skids have certainly not earned yours, and that you are losing respect for him.
I wouldn't go.
I wouldn't go.
There is no way I would willingly be embarrassed by skids in public.
I see your Dh is being his
I see your Dh is being his usual idiot self when it comes to parenting and his parenting abilities. Nothing new is his line of thoughts.
Of course it is his responsibility to rein his little darlings in. However , being he is the guy who was allowing his feral sons to hop over restaurant booth seats not to very long ago I'm not sure what you thought his response would be when you suggested he pre-discuss this weekend outing with the boys.
How very disrespectful to his kind business partner to not remind his kids how to behave, the expectation of behavior and manners (including not being like hogs to the trough nor wasting what they order). In fact, if the place to be dined at has a webpage with an online menu to view, it'd be a good idea to glance over it with the kids and discuss with them their likes/dislikes and a guidance in ordering with price limits.
But he isn't going to do any of that. My advice, go, enjoy your meal, ignore the table entertainment that will be your skids and remember they aren't your kids and your host knows it. Show your appreciation for the meal, use your best manners, and let the poor unsuspecting host see at least one of you at the table has some class.
Apparently your DH hasn't
Apparently your DH hasn't earned his logic yet. Of course what he's saying is ridiculous, but you know that.
In my experience,
People judge the bio parents with shitty skid behaviour. They don’t approach pr judge the stepparent, they wonder at times how they put up with this behaviour
with my inlaws they all talk behind our backs about my skids but some of hubbys sil’s actually say its all skids and they do not judge me one bit
they see a big difference between my 2 kids with hubby and hubbys 3 kids with ex wife...
like others recommended if there is a private moment tell the boss that thesr are skids not your bios and you’re appalled at their behaviour...
kids learn from parents how to behave. Dysfunction breeds dysfunction, stupidity breeds stupidity, toxicity breeds toxicity and laziness breeds laziness
He thinks that respect should
He thinks that respect should be earned. Yes respect should be earned, THEY need to earn your DH and yours respect not the other way round.
Your DH is a fool. But I'd
Your DH is a fool. But I'd luuuuuuuuv to be a fly on the wall during that dinner with his business partner. Evil Aniki hopes the skids are all different kinds of AWFUL.
I wonder
I wonder what your DH intends to do to earn his business partners respect.
There is a difference between
There is a difference between respecting somebody and being respectful TO somebody. Kids should be respectful to adults and authority figures, it has nothing to do with "earning their respect".
So, if your H's kids don't know someone, so have not earned their respect, he thinks it's okay for his kids to be disrespectful? This guy is a tool.
Just another excuse to not parent.
YES, THIS
Hereiam has stated succintly what others don't seem to grasp. There is a big difference between being respectful and respecting someone/earning respect.
So does your DHs boss have to earn the skids respect first?
And by the logic given by your DH, does that mean your DH was disrespectful to his boss until the boss earned your DHs respect? I'm guessing not.
Why are you still with this
Why are you still with this guy?
Another vote for Don't Go.
Another vote for Don't Go.
It's not hard to see where
It's not hard to see where your Stepkids get their lack of consideration and respect from. Sometimes the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
How is your H ok with being wasteful and not parenting his kids? Not to mention all on the dime of his business partner?
I would plan to get sick and leave him to choke
on his own words while his kids make a fool out of him.
This man kills me. He's a
This man kills me. He's a right fighter, stubborn to a self-destructive degree. Oh, and full of sh!t.
Ignoring the facts doesn't change the facts. Further, it's always best to try to see yourself (and your kids) the way others see you.
Any Average Joe, upon witnessing feral kids in public, is going to know exactly who is to blame for their behavior - the lazy, ignorant parent(s) who can't be bothered to teach their little savages how to properly conduct themselves.
Please don't go to this dinner. Hand your idiot H a shovel, and tell him it's to dig himself out of the hole he's putting himself in with his boss.
You are judged by the company
You are judged by the company you keep.
I would not sit at the same dinner table with a clueless Dadddeeee and his disrespectful feral kids.
Stay home and let H embarrass himself.
I would NOT go. Pffft. Nope.
I would NOT go. Pffft. Nope.