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Misguided anger

TheRealMom's picture

Submitted by TheRealMom on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 4:58pm

I have been looking for a place to express myself about my frustration as a step-mom. I do all the work and get very little respect or appreciate from my youngest daughter. I found this letter in her Diary today.

http://i864.photobucket.com/albums/ab203/The_Real_Mom/image0.jpg

The is a very angry kid. She is mad at the world because she feels abandon by her birth mom. She harasses me every day. We are in counseling. But it doesn't seem to help.

I gave everything to work and take care my two step daughters. I gave 100 percent of myself, and now I just feel empty. The only thing that is keeping me here is my beautiful older daughter who is so respectful and loving towards me; and my husband. It's just really really hard.

Comments

smnikki's picture

Submitted by smnikki on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 5:04pm

wow, its weird because the last line makes me feel like she does love you and want to be close to you. is she jealous of you and bd and hurt because she doesnt have her "real" mom

belleboudeuse's picture

Submitted by belleboudeuse on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 5:05pm

Yeah, that's how I read that, too -- like her real problem with you is she doesn't feel like your #1 daughter.

BB

"No matter how cynical I get, it's never enough." - Lily Tomlin

Kb3Hooah's picture

Submitted by Kb3Hooah on Fri, 11/20/2009 - 5:28pm

Oh wow, that broke my heart to read. I agree with the last line, it sounds like she does love you, just directing her anger towards you about the situation with her mom. Do you two spend time alone together doing something, does she spend alone time with her dad?

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“The challenge is to help couples turn "I Do" into "We Can."

TheRealMom's picture

Submitted by TheRealMom on Tue, 11/24/2009 - 6:50pm

I so appreciate all your comments. I agree that the tone of the last line is completely different from the rest of the letter. So maybe it's a cry for help. She just turned 9, and she can be so sweet and welcoming when she wants to be. But other times, its like I don't even know her. And she turns into this other person at the drop of a dime.

I really want to spend more time with her because I love her so much. It just hurts that she can look at me at times with no emotion like she doesn't care what she says. But I really do want to make an effort to let her know that I love her. I want the same relationship that I have with my oldest daughter, with her.

It's just really hard when you don't know if she is going to hurt you from moment to moment. Its a very scary feeling. I often fell trapped in my own home as if this little girl is really my big bully in life. So crazy....