My oldest stepdauther, who is usually my rock, did a flip flp today. In all realness, she is still a child (11 years old). But it still feels weird that she is usually the stable one, and that she ended up kind of freaking out today.

She asked if she could have her own email account seperate from the one that she already shares with me. I said yes, but only if her dad and I have her password. And only if she has the full knowledged that we can check her email at any time.

I also said that her dad and I are the only ones that can have her password other than herself. She looks at me and said "what about my mom?" Referring to her birthmom. I politely said that her dad and I are the ones that raise her. We have been her full time parents for the majority of her life. So that we are the only ones that need the password to her account.

I did not tell her the other part of this - which is that her birth mom is mentally unstable. The birth mom would be the type to go into SD's email and falsify an emial saying crazy stuff; take the email to court and say that SD wrote it. That is the main reason why the birth mom should not have her password. But I could not say all that. So I just said that the parents that are raising you should have this info. And that's all.

My oldest gets very defensive and says that this is hurtful to her. I understood this, but she is 11 years old. But I can not keep her in a bubble. The honest truth is that her birhmom only raise her from birth to age 4. After that she went a-wall. Thats when I took over. I have raiser her full time from age 4 until age 11 (current day).

So I dunno. A little frustrated that I have to be the one to take the slack for the birth mom's inability to commit to her own kids.