Modesty
I'm newish to this whole "mom/stepmom" thing so any advice would be great.
I'm wondering when should a child begin to have a sense of modesty, and what is privet? My 3 1/2 year old step daughter was drawing pictures with her dad this weekend, he said he was going to draw her. She asked him to draw her bum, he said "Well no". Then she asked him to draw her 'doodie" (the word her mother has taught her for vagina). This little conversation bothers me.
My step daughter has had near pornographic images of her posted on the internet (FB). In these pictures she was completely naked (at three years old) with her hair in a ponytail mohawk around a bunch of adults who were drinking. The title of the album was "Last night drinking". Before everyone tells me to call the authorities I want to say I did. After reporting the images. Since FB removed the images and a crime lab said they were border-line, nothing was done about it.
So I guess my question is, is it normal for a child who is almost school age to have no understanding of what is supposed to be privet? Will this attitude from her mother harm her? Will she eventually learn to respect her own body and others?
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Wow, I have a three and a
Wow, I have a three and a half year old SD and she freaks out if her dad even glances in her direction while she is walking to her room from the shower in a towel, and screams "don't look at my naked!" lol
And my BD 5 has been hiding herself from me for about a year or so.
So yeah I think that sounds a bit weird.
It feels weird to me. I just
It feels weird to me. I just dont know what to do. We only get her every other weekend now, because the judge was an idiot who obviously had a daughter around the moms age. (they were swapping stories on the witness stand)I want my SD to see a doctor and a shrink. I really think something may have happened to her. She's still not using the potty and will hold back her poop untill she is sick. She was almost fully potty trained last Jan, but then BM and her boyfriend broke up. we have heard stories of SD being left with "shady" people and of an ex boyfriend (of two weeks) giving SD a bath. I think its disgusting but there is nothing we can do about it, we tried. I just want to know how to help her now.
My cousins daughter did that
My cousins daughter did that with her poop, and is 12 now and STILL does it to herself. Potty training can be hard. With my oldest daughters I simply told them they could not go to preschool until they were potty trained, and they stopped right away in order to get school.
SD3 was harder, I finally told her I would not take her out to coffee or shopping, or paint her nails unless she were a big girl, because little girls cant have those things...and she stopped right away too. Worst I have gotten since then is when she purposely does it when she is mad at me, and that has only been like 3 or so times.
We've tried the "big girl"
We've tried the "big girl" stuff. I paint her nails, let her wear some of my perfume, let her play on the computer and other things, but since we dont have her often it doesn't seem to matter. Her mom says if she runs around without clothes she uses the bathroom more. But thats not something I am comfortable with. Maybe if she was two, but she's almost four. I don't know.
Oi VEH! I have no clue what
Oi VEH! I have no clue what to tell ya there. SD17 has NO modesty whatsoever! Since day one she's been eating family breakfast in a men's flannel shirt that's NOT buttoned up as much as it should be and panties. I'm seriously disturbed by this, and have made light mention of it to DH who just says "That's how it's always been" We went to her grandparents hous last weekend, she ate breakfast in a see through white tank top and shortie shorts. DH says it bothers him a little but when he mentions it the kids just make fun of him. Still brainstorming myself on how to change this one. Your child's understanding of privates is disturbing though, the drawings particularly. I would start with a conversation on private parts and making sure no one touches her there etc... and still have her evaluated, better safe than sorry.
Teenage girls will get away
Teenage girls will get away with as much as possible eh? I would be pretty upset in your situation too.
"DH says it bothers him a little but when he mentions it the kids just make fun of him"
What do they say?
They tell him he has no clue
They tell him he has no clue what's fashionable, and basically, blow him off. DH has made great progress as of recent in terms putting his foot down. Maybe this should be next. I think he should be able to tell his 17 year old to go put clothes on. He's so bashful and afraid of starting a fight, but it's really so inappropriate.
lol I can imagine! My DH is
lol I can imagine! My DH is also quite bashful and would have a hard time in this situation as well. Ohh man... good luck girl!