OT- Are we all getting alittle cranky or what?

I have noticed today alot of posters, who post often, getting pretty short of temper with eachother.

Is this another one of the site cycles? I have found myself replying in not so nice manners, that I usually don't. Whats going on ladies???

Thetis's blog
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Yes, I am very

Yes, I am very short-tempered... And I am sorry. I'm just really overwhelmed and saddened by so much of what I read on here. I am wondering if I need a break.

** A rainbow just threw up on me... and now I'm sh*tting glitter! ***

((((Hugs)))) Dont go

((((Hugs)))) Dont go anywhere!!! These kids need their advocates too!!! However if it is getting to be too much taking a break would probably help!

That's how I feel. I feel so

That's how I feel. I feel so sad by so much of what I read here. In a lot of cases, I really feel bad for both the stepparent and the stepkids.

Nothing new about that

Nothing new about that Thetis. This is just how it rolls here. That's why "our" site is soooooo cool!

I hope no one feels like I have been short-tempered with them...especially since I have only been here a few days....Having just found this site, I have relied on it heavily the past 2 days...I really enjoy reading the posts and responding and "trying to be helpful even if maybe it isn't"....and I've already got some really good advice and a lot of support myself.

I've been a short tempered

I've been a short tempered beyotch for a while now..... my profound apologies..... I just don't handle the hating on kids well.

I second wickeds post.. to

I second wickeds post.. to the letter. My thoughts lately. Apologies to those I have offended. Actually a poster that I assumed I offended the other day PMd me and thanked me for my honesty... so... maybe its ok sometimes..

DISbelief~

~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~

I don't like seeing people

I don't like seeing people who are obviously already hurting and looking for advice get hammered, either. fair enough if their situation is their fault, or they are really being awful to their skids or SO. But sometimes its just small minded people with nothing helpful to say, who have never been through anything like what some of the others here go through, and that's not helpful. I'm with Thetis. I'm not normally snappy either. But this week.....

Thetis, I do apologize for

Thetis, I do apologize for being short earlier. I felt we were automatically bashing the step on a step support board, without having all the information. My frustration is that, even though this site is called StepTalk, it too often for me becomes BM-talk.

In this case, it was actually a BM writing in, I guess to get the step perspective? but was surprised at the response. This BM is a sweetheart and obviously very caring for her kids, this is the just the example I am using.

There are a lot of BM boards that offer support for BMs, along with all of society and the whole world supporting the birth mothers as being such a great thing, which of course it is, but - this is the ONLY place that a lot of STEPS have! to get support.

I feel like often our conversations are taken over from a BM perspective. Then no one can say anything else because it is considered an insult to all BMs around the world, when it is not intended to be.

BMs can say anything and it is accepted but question the child or BM, and boom, it is like calling our own BM for input - which doesn't work in many of our situations.

But most of us are all here because of a BM, or lack of BM, can we please remember this is a STEP support board? That is what I see as the fundamental source of many conflicts here.

Maybe separate boards is a good idea? although I do appreciate the input of BMs as long as both sides are allowed to speak their piece.
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“Learn by practice.” - Martha Graham

For me, I realize this is a

For me, I realize this is a Step board, and I have alot of step issues, but I'm also a BM and would like to not always validate an SM when I can give a different perspective to the SM.

As an SM, being able to see the BM's side of things is a true blessing, and has helped me keep my sanity (most of the time). I'm not here to bash another SM, yes I get frustrated someitmes (as we all do with each other a time or two ) when it seems that some here don't want help, they don't want to change their situation or make it better, all they want to do is complain and change nothing. Change can only come if you work on yourself first.

I want so much to say Here SM, this could be what's going on in your BM's mind, instead of what you're thinking, because it is what would go on in my mind as a BM, so you don't have to hold that anger inside anymore. I want us all to be happy in our relationships and it truly saddens me for someone to be so unhappy. Giving a BM perspective is not me trying to say "I"m a BM hear me roar"...it is me extending my hand to help, with all sincerity.
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“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

Ok, well I will try to look

Ok, well I will try to look at it that way middlemom. I know you are sweet and mean well.

I personally feel our BM is a irrational drama queen and don't really care what her feelings are, after the hell she puts us through, but that is just me, and she apparently feels the same about me, whatever. We are mutually exclusive, which suits me fine.

But BM gets plenty of support in this world and I get none as a step. That's why I think StepTalk is so important, to steps.

But I am embarrassed that I lost my temper because you guys don't know, for sure yet, what a beyotch I can be lol. And I hate to fight on here, or anywhere really. So I will re-try, to give, the benefit of the doubt.

But, I still feel, the step perspective should not be automatically discounted - the steps do need to be represented and heard and not drowned out, since we are here, together. Hugs
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“Learn by practice.” - Martha Graham

No doubt Most Evil, I

No doubt Most Evil, I completely agree. That was just my standpoint as a BM....now, there are people who are malicious and vindictive..regardless of what their title is, but it has more to do with them on the inside, they are miserable and unhappy in their own lives and we all know the saying "Misery loves Company."

But then there are BM's out there who may do/say things and don't realize that they are imposing or making the SM's life harder. I would fall into this category if I had an SM, but instead of the SM seething inside and hating me, which only harbors negative vibes inside them, I would want the SM to come to me and say...Middlemom, when this happened, it made me feel like this, I would appreciate if this would happen in the future. I would completely respect a person for doing that, and try my best to be thoughtful of that from then on out.

Coming here as both an SM and a BM, I have gained so much perspective on how to handle situations with an SM in the future and am more concensious of boundaries. I hope that as an SM, I have been able to offer support to other SM's from not only an SM POV, but from a BM POV as well.

It's a trickle down effect, since I've joined this site as a BM/SM, I have not only gained support/help for my Step situations, but also as a BM...so now I can treat an SM the way we as SM's want to be treated. You've just saved one future SM from dealing with the BS from a BM just by a BM being here gaining perspective. Hopefully it carries on to the next BM, and the next, and the next...until we are no longer putting up with some of the crap we put up with.

Hugs Most Evil, I've always valued your input to this board.

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“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.”

You are such a sweetie

You are such a sweetie middlemom!! point taken
_________________________________________________________
“Learn by practice.” - Martha Graham

Ladies - all I can do is

Ladies - all I can do is apologize. I know I am a royal b*tch on this site lately.

I'd like to think it's that my period is due (anyone got a tampon?) .... or that I'm tired and stressed (I am..)

But mostly... I am at the point where Yes, I am sorry if I hurt and offend. But I also feel that some things written are offensive and I should be allowed to respond in whatever way I see fit.

So I'm sorry... because I am angry.... at stepmoms who think that just because they have it rough that gives them the pass to treat their skids like shit. At BM's that are so f*cking selfish that they make their children's and SO"s and SM's lives miserable ... and SO's that don't do their part, and leave all the work up to the "steps".

Wow! I suck and I hate people!

Stick, no need to apologize.

Stick, no need to apologize. And for the record, *I* will be MORE than happy to supply you with a box of tampons.

You are here

OT- Are we all getting alittle cranky or what?

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