Happy Turkey Day everyone! Our festivities here are over. We had an early dinner so that ds17 could also join his gf's family for dinner at 6. She also came to ours. I stated over and over that I wanted a peaceful, happy holiday today. I sat my kids down this morning and asked them what they are thankful for. DD10 said she was thankful for me. DD13 stated first that she was thankful for no school, then that she was thankful for me. DS17 started out to say that he was thankful for a "loving m..." then stopped, grinned and said, "good food" and winked at me. I know he was going to say some remark about a loving mother in his jokingly boyish way. But he didn't have to tell me. He tells me everyday when he hugs me good night or tells me he loves me at 17 yrs old. I'm very proud of my babies... even if they aren't babies anymore, they will always be my babies. I went on to tell them that I was thankful to have all of them.

After this, dh started on his ranting. He went to give dd13 (not his daughter) 2 extra chores. He did not discuss this with me at all... just got pissed and decided that that was what HE was going to do. Well, I put a stop to that and said, "DD13 can do 1 and DD10 (our dd together) can do the other (the easier of the 2)." He got pissed at me and started to make an argument out of it telling me that it's not going to kill dd13 to do 2 extra chores, blah, blah, blah. So I told him straight up, "I have told you, if something concerns my kids you need to talk to me and discuss it. You don't just go over my head. It's not going to hurt either of them to have an extra chore."

Our situation is 1 where I WISH my dh WOULD disengage and leave my kids alone. He has always treated ss22 and sd20 like they were above everyone else in the household and has continually acted like I don't do anything with my kids as far as discipline goes. Well, excuse me but I MUST be doing SOMETHING... who's son is it that can't hold a job? Who's daughter is it that does not have an ounce of respect for herself or anyone else she comes in contact with? SS22 confesses without shame that he smokes pot. My kids avoid drugs and people that do them. My kids think ss22 and sd20 need to grow up and act their ages. While I tried to treat all of the kids equally, my kids had it harder because I made them live up to MY expectations while dh did not make sk's live up to ANY expectations. I NEVER did anything with sk's without discussing it with dh first because I didn't want to impose a punishment he didn't agree with, chores, etc. I involved him out of respect for the fact that he was their parent and I was not. Do I get that same respect? Of course not.

But anyway... after that finally blew over, we are sitting at dinner and I was having a good time laughing and talking with my kids when my mother (who has been OH SO SUPPORTIVE of my disengaging w/sk's... NOT) says, "What are (sd and her family) doing today?" DH tells her. Then he somehow sees this as an opportunity to make the whole conversation revolve around sk's. Somehow the topic got onto ss22. DS17 has HUGE issues with choices that ss22 has made and he made some snide remark in a joking fashion (truer things are said in jest you know). It was obvious that the remark ticked off dh and he got defensive. I quickly changed the subject so that a scene wasn't made in front of ds17's gf. He already refuses to bring her around much because of dh's temper and because dh is a yeller... it embarrasses ds. I don't blame him. It does me too.

But I was determined to have a GOOD holiday that was not centered around dh and his kids. And by the time dessert was over, a good time was had by all and I was able to prevent dh from ruining my peaceful, happy holiday. He decided to take a nap after over stuffing himself so I am enjoying some peace and watching Pretty Woman while my girls sit here with me looking at magazines and such. Overall, it's been a great day. Now onto CHRISTMAS! I can't wait!