What is the point?
in these visitations with a crappy BM when she does not even spend the time she was granted with her children!?
SD calls me today and asks me can she bring home a hamster. I was stressing to her how that would be a big expense and care that I know she would not give to the thing after she "brought it home for me to take care of" along with the rabbit, 2 dogs and cat she cried for/demanded all here.. all that i am caring for.
I then realized I did not recognize the number she was calling from on the ID tag... I asked her what she was up to and she said she was at her cousins house swimming and that they had spent the night and would be staying over again tonight...
BM only gets them every other weekend , rarely gets them when shes supposed to and now isn't even keeping them home with her...
I told her she should go spend time with her sibblings and mum... she said mum only had 1 can of spaghettios to split between 6 children.
RANT major tonight.. I know I am not supposed to but I love my SK's like they were my own... angry would be an understatement
and there isn't a dang thing I can do for them or about the situation because I am just the SM. 
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I hear ya
Our BM was similar except she didnt have any defined visitation, it was an informal thing, as in "the 3 kids all live with their dad and JRI and I do my own thing". It was kind of sad, I'd hear one or another of the kids over the years on the phone hinting to spend time with her but those plans seldom materialized. My ex was bad about it, too.
I once worked with a BM who only saw her daughter on some weekends. She couldn't understand why the girl, a pre-teen, was mopey because Mom usually had one of her friends there during visitation. I didn't say anything but thought. that kid wants your undivided attention. Sadly, the girl got that attention a few years later when she attempted suicide.
Preeeach! TBM always tries to
Preeeach! TBM always tries to get the skids looked after on the weekends on her week. What is the point in her having them? In our case it's just so she gets CS. Looking after her children is too hard work for her and going out getting drunk spending DH money on that are her priorities.
I get it. I love my Skid as my own. I raised him as my own.
When the SpermClan would pull their version of this crap that your SD is suffering at the hands of her idiot mother it was infuriating.
Though not to the point where they would not feed the kid, they would dump him on his GGPs to sit with the geriatric squad watching televangilists all day for most of every visitation. We are lucky that having a toddler, young single digit kid iced with the GreatGrandParents while the SpermIdiot was out trying to impregnate evey available underaged womb in the PAC NW and the SpermGrandHag was doing whatever she was doing did not screw our son up royally. His exposure to that genetic cesspool was blessedly limited by a long distance visitation schedule.
His mom and I demonstrated strong adult relationships, responsible parenting, care and love to him. We did not dump him off on anyone to have him out of sight and out of mind.
I am sorry your SD is having to suffer losing the BM lottery. I am sorry you are living this broken heart experience.
I guess be thankful that BM
I guess be thankful that BM has a wider circle of family that is willing to entertain and FEED her child. Perhaps if BM is such a looooser.. it's better that SD is spending time with her cousins and aunts.. building those relationships instead?
Yes, it is hard to see the
Yes, it is hard to see the positive in it all like this but my mind and heart eases better on those visitation weekends I know they are there and not with BM.. The cousin and her family all work and seem like upstanding people. My heart just aches for the kids because I know they love their mother and the choices BM makes and her actions only affects my SK's that much more.
I worry about their mental health and how they will handle big life situations the older they get. I hope they can take what they have learned from me and dad and put it to good measures in their future. <3