DH: "Poor Kid" AHHHH!

So, DH and I were talking yesterday about going to MIL's this weekend to celebrate Christmas w/ skid since BM will have her on actual Christmas weekend. All of a sudden he comes out with the deprived child shit.

DH: Oh poor kid....
Me: What are you talking about?
DH: SD, she's had such a rough time of it. I feel so bad for her.
Me: Uhmmmmm are you kidding me? She has a roof over her head, several actually! Food in her stomach, and a lot of people who love her so why do you 'feel so bad'?
DH: You know, just the situation, poor little thing....
Me: Stop it! There is nothing to feel guilty about. Yes, she has an asshole for a mother, but that's not your fault. She made the ultimate decision in this issue so stop feeling bad. You are talking like she is abused or something which she is obviously not, and there ARE kids out there that deal with THAT you know...
DH: (all mopey) yeahhhh, I know, I know....I was just saying....
Me: Are you still getting that drumset for her then?
DH: Yes, but I should get more, poor thing....
Me: You are already over with what we discussed with the drumset. That is plenty!
DH: Yeah, you are right.

It was like I got this out of nowhere yesterday. I am so so so sick of the same conversations with DH and his family. There is nothing wrong with SD! She is provided with all the things she needs AND all the things she wants thanks to all the guilty emotions crap no one ever tunrs her down when she wants something she gets it! So what is there to feel so sorry for her for? Unfortunately a vast number of kids come from split homes these days, it seems in the future that is going to be the norm so get over it!

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The way your dh acts is the

The way your dh acts is the way most guilty parents act and what they fail to realize is they actually are doing more harm than good in raising their children.

Amen buttercookie. My

Amen buttercookie. My thoughts exactly.

I may get slammed for this, but I think these ungrateful kids should feel lucky at gift giving (receiving)time. Most of these kids get ALOT MORE in a step situation. They get gifts from two homes, they get them from xtra Grandparents, Aunts Uncles, friends, etc. They would not get near this much in a "normal" first family only situation. So, Why feel sorry for them????

I just saw another post regarding making Santa fair, basically for those kids that DO live with both their BioMom and BioDad and don't receive from all the extended/extended-step families. So again, Why do people want to Poor Kid the skids at Christmas time????

My bio are also someone elses skids, and I have two skids myself.. They get PLENTY and noone has to go overboard to make it happen.. it just does in this type of situation.

So... Back Off Guilty Parent!!

I completely 100% agree with

I completely 100% agree with you both. That's why it drives me SOOOOO crazy when him and the in-laws pull this crap. I have said to DH before that he is doing her no favors by throwing her a pity party. I have also brought up the point like you said that in the skid situations they get a lot more in cases like this.

I have brought this up before and I will bring it up again. My mother was widowed when I was very young. Neither my mother, my sister, nor myself ever played the sympathy card for a hand out. My mother busted her bum raising us on her own and while she did everything she could to provide us with wonderful upbringing, she always instilled hard work and responsibility and being grateful for what we had in us. I got my first job at 14 y/o and I loved it. I never ever used my father's death as a krutch to get things from people. And, I am so thankful we were treated like normal kids and didn't have the whole family try to raise us with a sense of entitlement.

My BS12 has a friend (we will

My BS12 has a friend (we will call him Chad, age 13) whose BioDad passed away recently (Oct). The parents were divorced. Neither of them had remarried in 7 yrs. Dad was a drunk but played a big part in supporting his children. Mom works 2 jobs to do her part to support their 3 kids, and two of their grandkids that she is raising. Well Dad is recently gone, the support stopped obviously, and his SS for the kids has not kicked in, but is in process.

The kids are 17, 13, and 11. She just recently sat her children down to tell them the circumstances and there is no way she can afford Christmas this year. None, and I mean NONE of them got upset, showed their ass, or made her feel bad. When she realized they were so supportive of her and thanked her for doing the best she could, she told them as soon as they start getting Dads SS checks, she will give them each a portion and take them to shop for some things they want.

I was so proud of them. Makes me wonder even more why so many have taught their kids to think everyone owes them something. We have suggested she add them to the "Angel Tree" for this one Christmas. I think they are deserving of it. She still has not done it because she is worried about asking for a hand out. Many of "us" are buying gifts for the kids, but they don't know that!!!!