Me too, I feel the same way, it like I'm the only one who puts structure in SS5 life not DH or BM. So I'm slowly backing away and focusing on my own kids more SS5 is just a spoiled brat.

I feel like that as well. Its hard to keep the same positive attitude towards the SK's when there is no improvement in relationships over the years. Its sad because sometimes its not even completely the SK's fault. I'm so tired of BM drama because of her jealousy and DH not defending me and that also plays a big factor.

That's exactly how I feel and it makes me feel a bit better to see that I'm not alone in it. I find myself irriated by things that they do that I'm sure would phase me from any other child but I've been through so much with them over the years that I'm finding it next to impossible to focus on the good anymore. I like you am a simi-new mommy (18 mnths) and I think that does effect how you see the steps. I know in my case they have been cruel with my son and since the first bit of cruelty I just can't even stand to look at them anymore.

But I'm trying and I don't let them know so I guess that's all we can do. Unless someone else has come up with a better way to handle this??

YOU are NOT ALONE!!

I totally feel your pain!! I feel the same way, as I just had an episode a few weeks back with SD20. I cringe when I think of her. I have been married almost 11 years, and I hate to say it, but it never seems to get any better, thought with her growing up, it would, uh...no...wrong.. it actually got better for like 6 months and now has turned into a nightmare that I want to wake up from. So tired of the drama, I wish there was a delete button.

I think you posted on my last blog. So yes, I know how you feel. Once I became pregnant and had DS I didn't give a damn about his kids anymore. Still don't. Don't know if I ever will. The very thought of them makes me cringe.

It's hard.

Amen. I feel the same way but for me it has only been a year and a half. I loved the SKids like my own and I wanted to help them at first but BM doesn't help and in some cases makes things worse so now I just don't care about them, caring just seems to hurt me. I don't ignore them but I don't try as hard to 'fix' them.

It's like oh you don't want this nice home cooked meal that I spent hours making - you want cheap cardboard pizza instead, sure thing more for me then. You don't want to use the potty, then here is a rag clean yourself up for once. (trying to potty train stubborn - and smart - 4.5 year old.) SKid didn't get signed up for summer school - that sucks, I guess they aren't going to get any smarter then. Did you say there is a meeting with the teacher and I should go? Yeah I can't I have to have a root canal that day. lol

I don't have my own kids but I am wanting my own really bad now so that I can raise a child my way and 'forget' about other people problems. My only concern will be then rubbing off on my kid but I have told SO that he has to realize if we have a baby I will be a first time mom. The first time sKids hit my baby there will be a holy war.

It is nice to know that I am not alone with these feeling, I was starting to feel like a horrible person, not caring about innocent (to a point) kids.

I came into my marriage with 2 kids and they were older. I never really got involved with his kids as in 'being the mother'. However from day one bm was screaming at me almost daily that I was not their mother and never will be. Fine by me as I have my 2 kids to worry about and of course there was the unfairness that started way early on and I put a stop to that real quick.

I do feel the same about my skids as I do about my friends kids. As in they stay here for a while then go home. Of course we buy them their bday gifts and stuff but 'I' can't get any closer to them then my friends kids not even as close as my nephews and nieces.

I really think the main reason is b/c I was forced to step a side and not be there for them or do anything for them b/c bm would get very upset and defensive. Plus she would take it out on the boys all the while saying she has their best interest in mind. WHATEVER!

Then on top of that she demanded money and more money! I told dh that I was to be left out of everything b/c if I couldn't be a 'parent' to them while I had them then I was done and would do nothing for them. It was too late.

However now that they are older we have a pretty good relationship. Of course it took YEARS and it is not over.

My point is that I hope one day for you ladies that you can have a decent relationship with your step kids however I know that it will NEVER compare to your own kids. And anyone that says other wise is so far up their ass they are talking out of it! Even my dh can see that! He has said so. Even though is my kids DADDY and my dd will always be his little girl. Why b/c their dad is not in the pic and never will be. Her dad died when she was 8. That plays a HUGE part in why he considers her his and she considers him her dad. For one thing when he was alive he had nothing to do with her anyway.

My son's dad is in prison and has been for almost his whole life so he considers him is son as well.

Dh understands that his kids have a mom in their lives and I am not it and that I am a friend to his kids and nothing more. He is a step kid himself and he gets it. I am so lucky in that aspect.