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the wrong way to say no

truebloodfreak's picture

My SO got upset with me because of the way I said no to his son. SS9 asked if dinner was ready >I say no. Which I guess is wrong. Apparently I should explain to a child why the dinners not ready- had to thaw chicken,prepare veggies etc..... WTF!?!? Is he crazy-- I am not obligated to explain myself to a whiny 9 year old because he's inpatient to eat. And he then tells me that I didn't show enough emotion when I got a thank you from SS9 for my.mothers day card.

Comments

buttercookie's picture

sounds like your going to be damned if you do and damned if you don't with your SO and his precious brat, You need to nip this in the bud. You do not need to explain NO to a 9 year old. And you should not have to blow sunshine up the kids butt for getting you a card, a nice thank you should suffice,

ubrngoutdbitchnme's picture

It drives me crazy when skids ask whats for dinner, uh, food! They might as well just say "I'm hungry when are we eating!?!"

purpledaisies's picture

This is how I do it for here. I provide dinners that they can make themselves!! I am no martha stewart! Never have been and never will be. I don't here whats for dinner anymore. }:)

On the Edge's picture

It does sound like you're damned if you do or don't in a lot of things. Does this happen often with more stuff too? Maybe your SO is expecting more from you toward the SK(s) than what you feel you need to give.

My SS1 rummages through the food cupboard and fridge when dinner's cooking. If I'm cooking, I'll say dinner'll be ready in 5 min or whatever and tell him he needs to wait. He tells me he didn't eat lunch or hasn't had anything since lunch. It's 5:30 or 6. I'll tell him exactly what I tell my son. Why you didn't eat lunch or have a snack? Next time you'll make a better choice ... now go set the table. Like Ripley stated: you can help by setting the table or helping to cook.

Many times he's told dinner will be ready soon ... he will sit at an empty table and gets mad when nobody's set his place. Boo-hoo ... you're 12. Get your lazy butt off the chair and set the table or he'll want bbq sauce or something but is too lazy to get up and get it himself so he'll ask his mom (my SO)(after she just sat down to eat). What's worse is she would do it. Took almost a year to change that. Other times, we'll be putting food on the table while he's dishing up his plate and eating. Sometimes he'd look at me like I have 3 heads or something when I'd tell him to wait til everyone's at the table.

newmom01's picture

when I was pregnant with first son and was at home full time, we (I)did keep the sk's during the summer and I tried to be nice, by having dinner ready when they got there, (MIL kept them mostly during the day since she worked at a daycare at that time, and I was big and pregnant and needed sleep)so when his granny would drop him and brother off he would just walk through the door and say whats for dinner or is dinner ready? What the hell? no hello or nothin!

At that time I was still worried about what MIL would say if I said something, but try that crap now ....I would say excuse me can you say hello first? In front of his dad and MIL !!!! I don't care