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F*ck around and Find Out

TrueNorth77's picture

Submitted by TrueNorth77 on Tue, 07/18/2023 - 9:48am

Well, DH had his parenting pants on last night when skids came, and it did not turn out well for SD14. 

Skids came yesterday and SD was supposed to work 4hrs at her job, but SD's new scooter lock wasn't working so DH asked if I could give her a ride to work. I told him, I will this time (only because I knew they had tried the scooter lock thing and failed), but I still believe this is a walkable town, so my answer is not always going to be yes. He said, I know, I understand, thank you. I ended up working later than I thought and SS17 came home around the time SD was supposed to leave because apparently Crazy had tried texting SD and SD didn't immediately answer, so Crazy had SS come home from his gf's to see why SD wasn't responding.... She also had SS make sure SD had a ride so she wasn't walking. (She would not even let SS walk 2 blocks to his job from her house when he was 15.) To recap, we live in a VERY safe town of under 5K people. How about you worry about what happens at your house on your time? So I delegated SD's ride to SS. And the reason SD wasn't responding is because she has restricted phone time and doesn't get her phone til 5pm. Which has been in place for 6 months and Crazy is well aware of it, but not bright enough to consider it. Clearly we must have had SD locked away in the basement or something. 

Anyway, SD gets sent home from work early, again, because they aren't busy. Plus she got her schedule for the week and she works 4hrs on Sat and 4hrs on Mon. That's it. The whole point of a job is to get her out of the house because she lays on her bed watching Tik Tok or TV ALL day and has no friends to hang out out, so we hoped this would help her make friends and money, and give her a purpose to keep her sane and away from anything to do with suicide. We both worked even before 14 so DH and I agree that it's a good age to start. It has done wonders for SS17. DH saw her schedule and told her on the way home that she may need to ask for more hours or go to the other fast food place in town since this isn't enough hours to be worth it. She argued. Tried to tell him she could only work 8hrs a week and other lies and excuses. By the time he got home he was pretty pissed off and tried to drag me into it by asking me questions that would prove what SD was saying was a lie. She kept being mouthy and stared at him defiantly while crunching on chips, after DH had already told her she wasn't going to talk to him like that. So when she tried to stare him down he lost his shit on her and reamed her out and took her phone for the night (look at DH giving a consequence!). He said to me, well, that just set the tone for the week so be ready for her to be pouty McGee all week. Perfect.  

SS came home and heard DH up in SD's room talking to her and asked what that was about. I said SD was mouthy and your dad played a game called F*ck around and Find out. This is a rare thing for DH when it comes to skids! 

We also saw texts between Crazy and SD while checking her phone. The highlights: 

-Crazy makes SD text her when she gets in the shower, and when she's done

-Crazy went to SD's work on her break to have lunch with her. Maybe this is normal? I just envision her coworkers seeing her mommy come to her work on her break.  

-Crazy told SD to turn the AC on when she got to our house last time, even though there was no mention of SD being hot. Again I say, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS in your own house!! You don't dictate when the AC goes on here. 

-SD texts Crazy asking if she's on her way home from work. If she says no, she's working OT, SD goes uggghhh. Because Crazy is her entertainment. The codependency is real, and It feels like texts between a 10yr old and a parent, not a 14yr old. 

There's so much helicopter parenting and codependency it's hard to watch.  

Comments

thinkthrice's picture

Submitted by thinkthrice on Tue, 07/18/2023 - 10:02am

I have ads in craigslist, FB, nextdoor etc.  Mostly crickets.  Of course, I want somebody reliable and a hard worker so that rules out about 99% of the under 30 set.

These snow plow parents are the problem!

CLove's picture

Submitted by CLove on Tue, 07/18/2023 - 10:14am

oooohhhhh hooooo

Pouty McGee Sd14 and Pouty McPouterson Powersulk SD17 should be friends.

yep. Parenting. Its a thing.

TrueNorth77's picture

Submitted by TrueNorth77 on Tue, 07/18/2023 - 12:06pm

They can sit around pouting while watching Tik Tok together having just the best time! 

Biggrin

 

JRI's picture

Submitted by JRI on Tue, 07/18/2023 - 10:23am

I oversaw an office for a niche mortgage lender.  There were 6 or 7 people who did data entry, document prep and related duties.  Over the years, people came and went tho we were lucky to have little turnover.  As people gained experience, they could make more money and begin to see it as "career" rather than "job".

I hired a young woman who was bright and did a good job.  Her mother came in regularly.  "Mom" was a nice person, perhaps overly involved with her only daughter but not a problem.  But it affected how I saw my worker, it made her seem less mature than she really was.

What I'm saying is Crazy isn't doing your SD any favors to show up at her work so often.

TrueNorth77's picture

Submitted by TrueNorth77 on Tue, 07/18/2023 - 3:08pm

It does make her seem less mature, like she can't go a whole shift without mommy coming in. And the fact is, that's true. We are hoping for her to gain maturity with this job, because we know that is part of the reason she is struggling with friends. And here mommy dearest is, coming into her work to eat with her and showing people she is NOT mature. SD needs to learn to go through a work shift/do an activity without seeing or calling Crazy halfway through- right now she can't. 

AlmostGone834's picture

Submitted by AlmostGone834 on Tue, 07/18/2023 - 11:22am

Flashbacks to the days when Little Idiot's hours kept getting cut at the local grocery store due to her being lazy and immature. Employers don't want to pay someone to sit around doing nothing with an attitude all day. 

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

Submitted by NoWireCoatHanga... on Wed, 07/19/2023 - 7:56pm

And this seems so crazy and foreign to me. I also have an 18 year old daughter who graduated in May and she has a job and makes $2,000 a month waitressing and an apartment and a boyfriend and a life of her own. She launched at 18. The goal here is to set them free into the world as self reliant productive adults that can function in society. My 15 year old had three sleepovers this week . She needs rides everywhere for cross country and activities . I can't imagine micromanaging my kids to this level. So toxic 

TrueNorth77's picture

Submitted by TrueNorth77 on Tue, 08/01/2023 - 9:17am

God am I jealous of those 3 sleepovers a week your daughter has. SD does have some friends, but according to her they all live in different towns so they can't hang out. The entire summer, ever. It's just so hard to believe. And I truly believe that Crazy WANTS SD to be dependent on her because she has no friends or life of her own, outside of her bf now. She does NOTHING. Doesn't hang out with friends, doesn't travel, has zero interests. I think she is terrified of what will happen if SD becomes independent, because she will have no one, unless this bf sticks with her by some miracle. So she just keeps her dependent on her under the guise of they are just sooo close and she is just soo worried about her safety, so she has to be involved in every tiny detail of SD's life, and SD doesn't know it's toxic and codependent.  

Lillywy00's picture

Submitted by Lillywy00 on Thu, 07/20/2023 - 10:12am

Gotta just love how these batshit bio parents take such joy in controlling other people's households they pay not one bill in simply because their demon seeds (I mean precious angels) make attention-seeking complaints. 

"Well if yo kid complain so much about being in my home that *I* pay bills in (I contribute to this house way more than your human bumps on a log), how about they leave (since they're so unsatisfied here) and you come pick your kid up within the next 15 min, and focus on taking care of your kid in YOUR home. Since you pay bills there you can have it your way. And when this dude's parenting time rolls around.....PLEASE tell your ingrates to OPT-OUT of staying overnight here. ANd how about you teach your kids to have some basic home training? How about that you manipulative tw*t!"

NeverEnough321's picture

Submitted by NeverEnough321 on Mon, 08/07/2023 - 7:25pm

Is it crazy that the most shocking thing I took from this was someone else dictating the AC setting in your own house??? That is wild to me! 

Everything else seems unsurprisingly like HCBM behavior. I feel sorry for SD that she has been sucked into Crazy's craziness that she is not codependent on her own mother, and will probably be into adulthood if she doesn't find any friends. I find it sad that she is allowed the freedom to go out and chooses to stay in. My SO's daughter, OSD13, would love if her mom allowed her to go out with friends on her time. Unfortunately, her mom is CP and highly toxic and tells OSD she is not allowed out because there are too many predators out there. Like what?! she just wants to go to a friend's house. BM will let SS hang out with friends outside of school once in a blue moon.

Now OSD feels left behind by her friends because they have all hung out without her all summer. OSD is sweet and mostly respectful, but I'm afraid she's starting to show some weird habits that reflect her mom. One of OSD's best friends was out of the state all summer and didn't regularly text her back (probably because she was actually doing stuff and having fun) and OSD would track her and see where she was at any given time via location sharing on iphone. I told her it was creepy and kind of stalkerish. She laughed and said it was just for fun... but I think we know it's not. OSD has lived with a lot of fomo and it probably wont stop anytime soon. She asked to invite friends over and after answering who, when, where... we said yes, only for her to change her mind a few days later. I hope your SD will turn a new leaf soon!